Ideal Kids or Idol Kids? How To Keep the Right Priorities in Your Parenting | S7 E28

Christopher Muiña:
At face value, it might not be a bad thing. Right? We wanna put your children first. And if, their bedtime is important and their diet is important, and I get all those things. Right? Yeah. But if the filter is the health or the the benefit of your children, then your filter's wrong. Right? The filter should be your relationship with the lord

Stephanie Muiña:
Yeah.

Stephanie Muiña:
And what's best for that.

Stephanie Muiña:
Welcome to the family business with the Alessis podcast. It's gonna be a beautiful podcast today. I'm excited. My name is Stephanie Alessi Muina, and I'm here with my husband, Christopher Mwenha. I wanna say hello.

Stephanie Muiña:
Hello, everybody. It's great to be here. Looking forward to this topic.

Stephanie Muiña:
Yeah. Me too. It's oh, this is a fun topic. You and I, we talk about this in our alone time at home. We we love to, like, you know, pick at how other people do their parenting styles and all these fun things. But this topic especially, we are very, very passionate about because this is a personal hurdle of you and I. And if you don't know, we have two children. We have, our two year old, two and a half year old, Gianna.

Stephanie Muiña:
She'll be three in May. And we have our one and a half year old, Matthew. And they are so much fun. They have given us a run for our money, and they have been probably the the biggest stretchers for you and I as individuals, for our marriage, for our life in every way. It's it's been a journey since we had our children. Wouldn't you agree?

Stephanie Muiña:
Yeah. And this topic is you said it's close to our hearts mainly because we're trying to figure it out as we go. Yeah. So we're we're we find ourselves going back to this topic because out of the need to make sure we're we feel like we're doing it right between you and I. Yeah. So that's why I think we we wanted to talk about this because if we're trying to figure this out, then that means there's other young parents

Stephanie Muiña:
Trying to figure it out.

Stephanie Muiña:
Figure it out as well. So we hope that whatever we have to say here, it will help other people navigate early parenting. Maybe it'll rub you the wrong way, but that's okay because because it's we're all in this together trying to figure out the best way to do it. So

Stephanie Muiña:
It's true. No. And I think that right now, there are so many different parenting styles out there. There's so many opinions and strategies and styles. You have Montessori parenting. You have, you the day care parenting. You have the nineties type of parenting. And when the the second you find out that you're pregnant, you see it on a woman's face, they they change immediately.

Stephanie Muiña:
The parents, the the husband and wife, they immediately lock in, and they are trying to find their style. And there's a part of them that it there's a large chunk of that eagerness that comes out of them naturally and instinctively. And then there's another half of parenting that you gain through research and through studying and through comparing and through through just analyzing other parents and how they did it. And it's like you immediately wanna start asking the question without saying these words exactly, what kind of child do I wanna raise? What kind of family do I wanna have? What kind of humans do I want to create? You know? And we lock in on, I need my child to do this. I need my child to have this. I need my child to act this way. And it can maybe drive you a little crazy. And in in this topic, we want to exactly hone in on what it means to put your child on a pedestal, what it means to make your child the center of your universe, and why part of it is natural and it's okay.

Stephanie Muiña:
It's what you wanna do because you love the child, but how another part of it is really not good for you down the line. And it's something that you and I personally have had to deal with. I know for me, I the second Gianna was born I don't know if this happened to you, but I immediately knew what I did not want my child to become. I just I I would look at other parents. I would see other kids, and I would say and I know it's awful to say it, but I'm just confessing. I'm being very honest about it. I would look at other kids and be like, okay. I don't want Gia to be like that.

Stephanie Muiña:
So I have to make sure she acts this certain way. For example, I really wanted my kids to be good around the dinner table. I I would go out to restaurants with other families, and if their kids were running around the table, I would just get so upset. I've now looking back, I was very judgmental, and I could've could've lightened up a little bit. But I wanted Gianna and Matthew to be really good at sitting at the dinner table. And I remember you and I went to Spain when I was pregnant with Gianna, and we were at one of those cool markets, and we saw all of these kids sitting down and enjoying a meal with their parents. And I remember you and I saying, okay. We're gonna make it a routine every day.

Stephanie Muiña:
We're gonna sit at the dinner table, and Gianna's gonna sit there, and she's gonna eat with us, and she's gonna eat feed herself. And I was so, so big on that. Well, then when Gianna was one and a half, she wanted to go watch a movie or play with her toys instead of sit with us. And I remember I had to

Stephanie Muiña:
Or they or they she was only able to sit with us for five minutes or ten minutes, and then that's it. She was antsy. She was trying to get out of her seat.

Stephanie Muiña:
Yeah. She wanted to go play.

Stephanie Muiña:
Well, here's the thing. I think every parent sees bad behaviors in other kids, and they automatically instinctively say, oh, I don't want my kids to be like that. Right? That's just natural. Everybody does that. What we wanna try to do through this podcast and this conversation is instruct parents on how to get there.

Stephanie Muiña:
Yeah.

Stephanie Muiña:
You know, not that we know it all. Absolutely not.

Stephanie Muiña:
We're still learning.

Stephanie Muiña:
We're still learning. But I think every parent wants the same goal, just they don't know how to get to it.

Stephanie Muiña:
Yeah. No. And for me, I I had to realize I had to ask myself the question, what is it that I'm trying what's my end goal here? Like, why am I trying so hard to make this perfect child? Why do I fear so much a child who doesn't sit at the dinner table? Why what's motivating me to be so anal about this? And, we'll dive into that, but that that was my first personal, like, come to Jesus moment when I started to idolize and put my own child on the pedestal because I wanted her so badly to be perfect. And I had to ask myself, why do I want to have a perfect baby? She's just a two year old. She's just figuring it out. And it really hit me when Lauren came to me one time, my sister, and she's not a mom yet, but she just picked up on what I was doing, and she helped me so much. And she told me, Steph, you don't have to make an 18 year old. Just make a really good two year old.

Stephanie Muiña:
And that's when I had that reality check, and I realized, okay. I need to change my motivator here. So that was for me personally my first encounter with my need to raise a perfect child. What what was it for you?

Stephanie Muiña:
Well, you mentioned early on that there's tons of methods for raising kids. There's probably millions of books out there. But when I think when when you get married, certain instincts kick in, both for the woman the wife and the husband. And then when you have kids, a whole new wave of instincts kick in. Mhmm. Yours are different than mine. Mhmm. And we tend to revert to those instincts.

Stephanie Muiña:
So what are maybe what's one of those instincts that kicked in when you just mentioned how you wanted your kids to be perfect? I think an instinct that kicks in, to another level for the guy is the want or the need and the want to provide everything for your children because Yeah. They become the center of your world. Yeah. And that's okay. That's that's how it should be. Yeah. There's nothing that you and I wouldn't do for our kids, and we wanna give them everything. Yeah.

Stephanie Muiña:
Now from the guy's perspective, I wanna give Gianna and Matthew everything that they want. Everything that they need, I wanna provide that for them. Yeah. If they like Gianna likes Disney on Ice, well, we got her Disney on Ice tickets Yeah. This month. Right? Yeah. We wanna I wanna do everything possible to make their world better. Yeah.

Stephanie Muiña:
So for some parents, that might stem from a root of maybe what they didn't have growing up. Yeah. They wanna make sure their children have. For some parents, it might be something that maybe they couldn't achieve, growing up, so they wanna make sure their kids are better or they achieve those goals. So the point is is that it's not a bad instinct. God put those things in us, in me, and in you differently Yeah. Because it's part of raising kids in a healthy way.

Stephanie Muiña:
Yeah.

Stephanie Muiña:
But there is a line that you could cross that now becomes unhealthy in your parenting. And that line is putting your kids as idols, really.

Stephanie Muiña:
Yeah. Yeah. And I know, like you said, your for men, that typically happens because out of a need of providing for their child. I think for us as moms, what can make us go a little too far because let's clarify what you said. It is not bad for you to have this desire to please your child and to put them on some sort of pedestal in your life because your children, they are the best thing that happened to you. You love them more than anything, and that's a very healthy thing. But you are walking a fine fine line of making them the child that you love so much and then them becoming the center of your universe. And the truth is the center of your universe needs to be God.

Stephanie Muiña:
The foundation of who I am needs to be God. So for you, it comes out of a need of wanting to provide for your child to give them an incredible life that you didn't have. For a mom, I can find my value in my children. I find my value in my motherhood. I thought I knew life was amazing. I thought I was amazing. I thought that who I was just as an individual single girl was great until I became a mom. And that gave me such a confidence in who I was.

Stephanie Muiña:
Me alone, because that's all my children want. They just want me. They love to just be with mom. They love when we go out, when I'm at home with them. They love me to cook for them. They love me to play with them. They just love me. And it is the greatest experience as a woman to find your value in your motherhood.

Stephanie Muiña:
Now what I have seen, though, is some woman can take that to an extreme where their only value is found in their motherhood. And it's what drives them. It's what drives their schedule. It's what drives their their vacation schedule. It's what drives their health schedule. It's literally the only it's their only guide in their life. Are you gonna go on a vacation with your husband? Oh, I don't know. We have to look at the kid's schedule.

Stephanie Muiña:
Yeah. Every decision that's made is based off of their children.

Stephanie Muiña:
Their children and their needs.

Stephanie Muiña:
Which at face value might not be a bad thing. Right? We wanna put your children first. And if, their bedtime is important and their diet is important, and I get all those things. Right? Yeah. But if the filter is the health or the the benefit of your children, then your filter's wrong. Right? The filter should be your relationship with the Lord

Stephanie Muiña:
Yeah.

Stephanie Muiña:
And what's best for that.

Stephanie Muiña:
Because the truth is, our motherhood does come to an end. The majority of it comes to an end one day. When they get married and they move into another house, they're not gonna need me as much.

Stephanie Muiña:
Well, we have to always keep in mind that our children are a gift from the Lord Yeah. Which means God has entrusted us to raise our kids.

Stephanie Muiña:
Yeah.

Stephanie Muiña:
They're his first. They give he gave them to us Yeah. To treasure and to raise, but we're raising them for the kingdom.

Stephanie Muiña:
Yeah.

Stephanie Muiña:
You know?

Stephanie Muiña:
No. And I want them to be able to not need me. They're gonna have to need God one day. Like, what I I wanna finish what I was saying. My motherhood is gonna end one day. Not completely. I will always be a mom. They will all we need always need me as their mom.

Stephanie Muiña:
But the daily needs are going to come to an end. And then what will I be left with? Me, you, and God. And those are the three things that I have to make sure are are aligned perfectly right now. Even as I go through these these ups and downs as a mom, I have to make sure that my value is found in God first, and then in my marriage and then in my motherhood.

Stephanie Muiña:
Yeah. And it's In that order, really.

Stephanie Muiña:
In that order. It's true. And like you were saying, my example of putting God first is the healthiest thing I can give my children. Our example of putting each other first is the healthiest thing that we can give our children.

Stephanie Muiña:
Yeah. We want we don't want our kids to think dad gives us everything we've ever wanted or needed or mom provides every need for us. We want our kids to look at us and be like, mom and dad have a relationship with Jesus Christ. Yeah. You know, mom and dad pray and read their word and seek God first. Mom and dad love each other, and they prioritize each other, as a marriage. Mom and dad serve at church. Mom and dad do these things.

Stephanie Muiña:
And through that example, they're gonna become good humans because they're seeing in us. The first, the how Gianna accepts Christ's love or god's love is gonna be how I give her love before you give her love. That's how she's gonna, that's gonna be her paradigm of of god's love through a father figure. Right? So if I'm not loving you right, if I'm not loving her right, if I don't have a relationship with the lord that's right, then hers is gonna be all twisted. Yeah. So it's almost like we need to make sure that we're on a healthy route, you know, with our relationship with the Lord, with our relationship with each other, with the things we do and the things we prioritize in life. And almost I've always had the mindset of, hey. Our kids are on are along for the ride of our life.

Stephanie Muiña:
Yeah. You know?

Stephanie Muiña:
Yes. I've always loved that.

Stephanie Muiña:
They do what we do. Where we go, they go. Yeah. The vacations we decide to to book, they're gonna come and they're gonna have a great time. Yeah. Our vacations are not gonna consist of only Disney Yeah. Because our kids love Disney. We might go to Disney once a year.

Stephanie Muiña:
Yeah. But if you and I wanna see, I don't know, a national park, then our kids are gonna come with us. They're gonna love it. They're gonna go on hikes Yeah. Because they're along for the ride of our life. And this as a family, we're gonna do things together, but we're not gonna ever put our children on a pedestal where they start to dictate. They come before what Yeah. What we decide because we decide what's best for Yeah.

Stephanie Muiña:
For them.

Stephanie Muiña:
Can you tell them the story of when I asked to go see a movie? Just you and me.

Stephanie Muiña:
Yeah. Yeah. So you I don't remember when it was, but we were in the thick of baby stage. Probably had Jia and Matthew, and you were craving time alone with me Mhmm. Just so that we can work on our relationship. And I was at this point where I was just I was like, I kinda wanna do things with our kids. Like, maybe I was working a lot, and I wasn't getting a lot of quality time with our children. So It

Stephanie Muiña:
was last summer, I think.

Stephanie Muiña:
Yeah. Last summer. And you asked me to go to a movie, just you and I. I was like, why don't we go all of us? Like, I wanna go with with our kids too because I miss them, and you needed time with just you and I.

Stephanie Muiña:
And I asked you, I was like, do you like spending time with the kids more than you like spending time with me? And you didn't answer me. You didn't say anything.

Stephanie Muiña:
Yeah.

Stephanie Muiña:
I'm like, well, now I have no idea. I think you like spending time with our kids more than you like spending time with me.

Stephanie Muiña:
Yeah. Yeah. So it's completely natural for for your priorities to shift where I I have hobbies. Right? But I get the most satisfaction when I'm with my kids and you, all of us together.

Stephanie Muiña:
Yeah.

Stephanie Muiña:
You know, that still means that I have to be intentional with just you time Yeah. You know, and drop the kids off at our parents' house Yeah. You know, for the night so that we can go out to eat or go to watch a movie. Like Yeah. Those things still have to be done. Yeah. Yep. Oh, go ahead.

Stephanie Muiña:
No. I was just gonna say, realistically, it's for the average family. The just to give all of our listeners a little bit of relief, if you do find yourself in need of a date night every once in a while, what I've started to practice is the second I see a need in less than twenty four hours, I jump on it. So, for example, I start to sense you need some alone time. And I just immediately if I sense, okay. You're losing your temper a little bit. You're getting a little stressed. I know my husband's gonna need some rest time away from the kids.

Stephanie Muiña:
I jump on it immediately. I see it and I say it. See something, say something. And I jump on it and I say, okay. You should go fishing this weekend. You should go for a bike ride and go. If I see you and I need a date night, I immediately put it in the calendar. This week, let's go on a date.

Stephanie Muiña:
Let's get some somebody to watch our kids and let's go. I'll even notice I need a long time with Gianna, and I'll jump on it. Let me take her out to the grocery store with me, her and me just for a drive.

Stephanie Muiña:
It's probably a lot less time than you think just so our our viewers can realize. Like, you probably don't need a week away from your kids. That's probably not good. Yeah. It's most likely just a couple hours at the grocery store. You wanna tell them the story of when we first took a trip, just you and I?

Stephanie Muiña:
Yeah.

Stephanie Muiña:
We hadn't had Matthew yet. It was just Gianna.

Stephanie Muiña:
We were pregnant with Matthew. No. You and me, we were like you said, in the thick of it, we were about to give birth to Matthew. And we thought, let's go get a night away from our from Gianna. We haven't had any nights away from her. So we booked a three night trip to Costa Rica. And the first night, we got plenty of sleep. I remember I remember before we left, I'm like, oh my gosh.

Stephanie Muiña:
A full night sleep. I'm so ready for this. I'm so in need of a night of just uninterrupted sleep. And then the first night, I I barely slept. I just don't remember getting that that nice long sleep like I wanted. Like, my mom says, you will never be the same. You will never have a good night's sleep ever again, even with your without your children. So the first night wasn't even that great.

Stephanie Muiña:
Second night, we had a it was a beautiful vacation. It was a great time. But the second night, we sorta got a better sleep. And then by the third night, I'm I'm going to sleep crying because I miss Gianna so much. I wanted to go home. We were done.

Stephanie Muiña:
Yeah. After day two, we were

Stephanie Muiña:
We were done. We were like, oh, do we wanna can't cut this short and go home? And it hit us that that alone time we were so desperate for, we got it, and it was great, but we realized we didn't need that much of it as before as we did before. It was like, oh, okay. Life has changed. The season has changed. You and I, we get that that that time together watching a movie at night when the kids are going to bed or a dinner for two hours on a Friday. We don't really need that as much as we did before. And it's the season.

Stephanie Muiña:
We we simply just get recharged with our kids with us going to the park. But it I think it was such a relief to see that the the desperation for alone time, it did not, it just changed. We didn't really need it as as much as we used to, and maybe you won't really need it as much as you need to. Your family, if you just have one hour, a cup a couple hours going to the grocery store, that's the alone time that you need. You don't need to put the pressure on yourself to schedule a whole week vacation somewhere. You know? Yeah. But I think that something else that you and I, we've we've spoken about this, and I did wanna share this with, especially, some of the moms that are listening, that the greatest example you can give your child is your own life. The greatest lesson you can teach them is simply the life that you live.

Stephanie Muiña:
And the greatest life you can give your child is one that is raised with God, point blank. You can move to Europe. You can go to Europe. You can be with the best friends. You can be with the best family. But I have seen it a bunch many times over. The best life you can give your child is a child raised around God, with God at the center of your home. Now what I have sort of seen creep into our culture is that ministry to your family let's make it clear.

Stephanie Muiña:
Let me state this first. The ministry to your family is your greatest ministry. You need to minister to your children. If we are here at church and we are serving the church, but our children are not following God, then what does our ministry mean?

Stephanie Muiña:
It's what qualifies you to be able to do any other type of ministry. It's your ministry at home first.

Stephanie Muiña:
Is exactly. So our fam our ministry to our family is our greatest ministry. However, it is not our only ministry. And I know this is a challenge to a lot of moms because, really, our life is is full right now. Our brain space is full. If if you talk to a mom with two to three kids at home, four kids at home, they're not thinking about anything else except what are we gonna make for dinner that night. So I totally get when you are at capacity with your brain space. However, the ministry to your family does not replace the ministry that we do at church.

Stephanie Muiña:
And what does that mean? It means that in practical terms, your kids, they need to see us, our children, they need to see you and I ministering to them at home and then ministering to others at church. Gianna and Matthew, they need to see you and I read the bible together at home, pray together at home, teach them the word at home, worship at home, talk about God, talk about these things at home first. And also, in addition to that, as passionately as we serve at home, we need to passionately serve at church. Gianna needs to see us talking to people in the lobby, taking people out to dinner, praying for people, sowing into people, believing for believing in the people, coming here at church and staying late, trying to set up the lobby or clean up the church, set up tables and chairs. Matthew and Gia, they need to see us do that as passionately as we serve them at home. Because what it it's it's communicating to them that we do everything we do not to please man, but to please God first. Everything that Stephanie Muina does is to serve God, and that's what I want Gia to see. That's what I want Matthew to see, that Stephanie Mina honors God first before anything.

Stephanie Muiña:
He is on the throne of my life, not man, not my marriage, not my not my family. Even though those things are the greatest treasures of my life and I live to to make those quality, I do it to please God. And that's a beautiful thing. When you put God on the throne and you do that to please God and you put your eyes on God, God's gonna look at you and say, okay, now go serve your family. Now go serve your marriage. Now go serve your children. So it's a beautiful cycle that he has us in. But I want that to be the message of my life and the message to my children that I I do everything for God.

Stephanie Muiña:
Well, I think the your family is your first ministry. That mindset is is healthy. Yeah. But what people don't get or that they leave out is that part of that ministering to your family is ministering to others

Stephanie Muiña:
Yeah.

Stephanie Muiña:
In the church, serving and doing other things. That's, that should be part of the pie Yeah. When it comes to ministering to your family. Yeah. Exactly. It's like you said, your kids are gonna do what they see Yeah. Mom and dad do. Everybody knows that that's the the how you were raised.

Stephanie Muiña:
Right? Because your your parents are the the senior pastors and that you were raised in church. But mine as well. My parents weren't pastors, but I always saw them serving in church, serving in the, Roar Ranger program or the in way whole bunch of different capacities. That's what I saw at church.

Stephanie Muiña:
Yeah.

Stephanie Muiña:
And that's why I see that as a priority in my life. Yeah. You know, same with my sister. So a part of your family's your first ministry is you guys serving as a family at church. And it doesn't start when your kids are in youth group. It starts when your kids are two years old. Yeah. Because there's plenty of times where Gianna, we're getting ready to go to work.

Stephanie Muiña:
Our work is our church, and she's like, oh, I don't wanna go to church. Church. You know, because she's here every day.

Stephanie Muiña:
Talking about.

Stephanie Muiña:
You know? But I think it probably happened couple months ago where she's now excited to come to church on Sunday mornings because she's starting to integrate into the kids ministry and the toddler program, and she's looking forward to her tostada in the mornings with her chocolate milk. And so she's yeah. When she was one and a half, she kinda dreaded it because it was a lot for her. But now that she's two and a half, and now as she gets older, she looks forward to it because now she's starting to have friends here. And

Stephanie Muiña:
Yeah. And, you know, you said it earlier, like, God has entrusted these children to us. It's not like this was an accident. You didn't just accidentally have a family. God gave us these children. And you feel it. When your baby enters your life, you're like, wow. This was a gift straight from God.

Stephanie Muiña:
And the Bible even says that, like like, arrows in the oh, what is it? What's the Bible verse? Like, a yes. Like, quivers in the I I forget it exactly. I pray it all the time, but I went blank. But they children are an inheritance from the Lord. And you and I, now it's our job to make sure we steward that gift correctly. And I wanna say, I really admire how you are very good at, like, staying the course with your children. You you have a really good gift of not getting easily rocked or emotionally rocked by small things, they say. Like that day, we were getting in the car and she goes, I don't wanna go to church.

Stephanie Muiña:
In my heart, I'm like, she's gonna not like church, my daughter. And you just look at her and you're like, Gianna, stop. We're we're going. You go with you just always say, you go where mommy and daddy goes. You can't tell me where you wanna go.

Stephanie Muiña:
Because I believe it's a principle that we have to revert to as parents of your children don't dictate your life. Yeah. You know, we dictate their life.

Stephanie Muiña:
Yeah.

Stephanie Muiña:
And our life is revolving around church and ministry.

Stephanie Muiña:
Yeah.

Stephanie Muiña:
So our kids are coming with us.

Stephanie Muiña:
Yeah. And you just but I think also the secret that you do very good at is you don't get emotionally rocked by any event. You don't even let it be an issue. It's not a problem. If Gia says little comments like that, I'm like, oh gosh. What does that mean? You don't even let those thoughts get in your mind. You don't give any weight to her words as a two year old.

Stephanie Muiña:
Yeah. Because you don't wanna discipline her because she said that because she doesn't know what she's saying. It's okay to be like, I know, Gianna. I know it's tough. We've it's a long day. Yeah. But it's okay. We're gonna have fun.

Stephanie Muiña:
Yes. And we're gonna get you and and you're gonna see your friends, and you're gonna draw and do all this craft. Yeah. And you're gonna get to worship. Like, you can level with your kids because Yeah. I mean, for a two year old to come to be at church on a Sunday from 8AM to 02:30, that's a long day for them. Like Yeah. It's okay to realize that.

Stephanie Muiña:
You know? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But you don't have to bow to their wants because they're two and a half years old, and they don't know what they want.

Stephanie Muiña:
Yeah. Well, I think that God has just given he's entrusted us with these children, and we have now the duty to give them the best example of a God filled life, of a God led life. Because that's another really beautiful thing that your children see. My parents aren't just led by their own ambitions. They're led by God. And if they're happy being led by God, then I'll be happy being led by God. And when they get older, when they reach their 20s and they enter into marriage, they enter into a single life, whatever it is, when they start to walk their own path with the Lord, they will know that when times get hard, when times get uncertain, if they just go to God my parents, they all they did was go to God. They trusted in the Lord.

Stephanie Muiña:
They didn't waver. They were strong. They were courageous. They didn't get too emotional or too fearful, but they just stayed on the course with God, and that's what made them successful. So now I get to say and I get to show my children, just stay on the course with God. Develop a relationship with the Lord. Let my life be that story to you. You know?

Stephanie Muiña:
Yeah. Yeah. I love the the parable of the talents, and most it's mostly used when it comes to finances. Yeah. But I believe it can also be used to raising your kids because our kids is a treasure. It's a talent that the Lord has given to us. And we wanna say as parents, look what we did with the treasures that you've given us. You know? Yeah.

Stephanie Muiña:
We raised two, three, four, however many kids that are walking in your ways, that are healthy, that that love you and serve you and prioritize you, that love their family. Yeah.

Christopher Muiña:
You

Stephanie Muiña:
know, that's what we want. That's the return when it comes to that that parable.

Stephanie Muiña:
Yeah. And before we close out, I do wanna say, if it wasn't for our parents putting God first in their lives, like, I just wanna take a minute to honor your parents and my parents, that they could not be there's no better helpers than our than our parents. Not only in how they help us in the practical sense, they watch our kids, they love on our kids, but the example of integrity and character, your parents have set, my parents have set, it has been the greatest North Star for you and I. That when, honestly, when you and I don't know what to do with the kids, I know you go back to, well, what did my parents do? I go back to, what did my parents do? And we both come with healthy results and healthy solutions, which is such a sign to the honorable parents we both have come from. So thank you, mom and dad, and thank you, Mandy and Marilyn, because, really, if if it was not for the example they set and the path they set before us, I don't know how we would get through these hard parenting days.

Stephanie Muiña:
You know, definitely. Now the reality is is that a lot of young parents don't have healthy parents sometimes. You know? So what do they do? Yeah. They have to set up a set of principles, biblically biblically based principles on how to raise their kids. Yeah. Because, unfortunately, not everybody has examples like you and I have. Yeah. So that's why I'm saying set up these principles that you can revert to.

Stephanie Muiña:
Yeah. That when you feel like giving in and be like, alright. Let's just do this. Let's not go tonight to Goodfellas night because, you know, our kids are tired, and they gotta wake up for school the next morning. Like, that's when you have to have these principles that you fall back on as a couple and be like, no. We're doing this together. Like, they're coming with us. Yeah.

Stephanie Muiña:
We're we've been asked to come to church on Sundays at 9AM to serve. It's gonna be hard to wake them up, but we're all waking up early, and we're getting them dressed, and and we can do it because they're not in it alone.

Stephanie Muiña:
Yeah. You're right.

Stephanie Muiña:
You

Stephanie Muiña:
know? And if anything, they have the blessing of being embraced by a church family, which is you have five dads and five moms and spiritual brothers and sisters that pour into you and help you. And in a way, it could be as much of a blessing, maybe even more of a blessing than blood family sometimes because you have a a hedge of protection, and that is your church people surrounding you and helping you. Is there anything else you want to add, mister Marina,

Stephanie Muiña:
before we go? I love the fact that when when you realize that our kids are gods, then that also means that when we don't know what to do or we're at when we're at a point in our life or something happens, we can be like, god, we need you. We don't know what to do. Like, you gotta step in because these are your kids. You know? Just like they you've given them to us for a certain season, but they're yours.

Stephanie Muiña:
They're yours.

Stephanie Muiña:
And you can cry out to God and Exactly. And know that he will come through.

Stephanie Muiña:
Yeah. Exactly. Do you wanna say something that I do is good? Because I told you you're really good at something.

Stephanie Muiña:
Tell me. We're over three minutes.

Stephanie Muiña:
Who cares? Just say it. Tell me what am I good at. I complimented you. Compliment me. I'm kidding. Just say I'm pretty.

Stephanie Muiña:
No. I love I love how those instincts that kicked in when you were a a mother, when you became a mother, they they really I I love those instincts in you. Oh. So don't don't think they need to be corrected always. Like, those instincts are there, and they're they're what I don't have. Right? I don't have the nurturing, mothering soft side to me sometimes. And I see that a lot when in our parenting style that what I lack when I when I have a less patience Mhmm. You're like full tank.

Stephanie Muiña:
You're you got all that. You know? So rely on each other's instincts

Stephanie Muiña:
Yeah.

Stephanie Muiña:
To parent because that's needed. I I can't be what you have to offer.

Stephanie Muiña:
Oh, thank you.

Stephanie Muiña:
So

Stephanie Muiña:
So so nice of you to say that. Mhmm. We hope this was a blessing to you all. And, again, like, you could do it. It is the road less traveled, but it is the best road to go down. And we we hope that this blessed you. We hope this empowered you. We hope this clarifies some things for you.

Stephanie Muiña:
And if it did, let us know. Send us a DM. Comment on our Instagram. Follow us on social. Subscribe to us so that you can continue to listen to our family, I never family family pod business, the Alessi family. Let me say that again. We hope that this blessed you. We hope that this empowered you.

Stephanie Muiña:
We hope this clarified some things for you. And if it did, please send us comments, DM us, subscribe so you can continue to listen to our podcast from the family business. We love you all. Have a wonderful day.

Christopher Muiña:
You've just enjoyed another episode of the family business podcast with the Alessis, and we can't thank you enough for being a part of our podience today. Now that you've learned more about us, here's how you can join in in the family business. First, make sure you're following our podcast right now, and download this episode so you can hear it at any time. Second, think of someone you know that might need or enjoy this episode, and share it with them. You'll be helping them, and helping us to spread the word about the family business. Third, go to alessefamilybusiness.com and tap the ask the alessees button. This is really cool. You can use it to record a voicemail comment or question, and we can add your voice to our conversations.

Christopher Muiña:
Finally, while you're on our page, tap the reviews tab, and you'll see a link to leave a review on Apple Podcasts. We love reading your reviews, and we might even share them on the show. Thanks again for joining us, and we'll see you next time at the Family Business with the Alessis, because family is everybody's business.