Recalibrate Your Marriage? How to Strengthen Your Relationship Through the Ever-Changing Seasons of Life

Intro to Szn 4 Ep 5

SPEAKER_01 0:09

Hello and welcome to another episode of the Family Business with the Alessis. I'm Steve Alesi, and I'm here with my precious wife, Mary Alese. And uh we're pretty excited today because we at our family business podcast, we talk about family and business because family is everybody's business. That's right. And we as pastors, there's things that we're able to talk about here in the podcast booth that we don't get to talk about on Sunday. And so today we're moving forward. Mary, part of the excitement that I'm sensing is we're moving into season four with over 60 episodes that we have put out as a few years.

SPEAKER_02 0:51

That doesn't seem possible.

SPEAKER_01 0:52

Isn't that crazy? That's over a year's worth, just uh solid weekly information. And even though we're going into our so we're in our second year of doing it, we've been very consistent with our podcast. And if you have enjoyed um the podcast, then please do us a couple of things. One, uh post about it on your social media page, uh uh like it wherever you are watching it, share it with as many people as you can, and comment when you wherever you are watching or listening to this at so that we could help other people appreciate what's going on in the podcast booth here. But help us help you. Oh, good, very good. So, Mary, we got a great uh subject matter we're going to look at today. It's uh we are at the beginning of another school year, so our years are pretty much divided up into coming out of the new year, going to school, get into the summer and relaxing. But then the last quarter, it's the push. The crazy. We're gonna get into the end of the year for the holidays. And so it's a big deal when we go back to the normal life of kids getting back into school. Some parents have been counting their days so the kids could get back to school. But it's a good time for us then to look at the importance of seasons in a relationship and a marriage and even the family and working at that. So um today we're gonna talk about recalibrating, a marriage, recalibrating uh the home life with this new season. And uh some of the things you think uh we need to be looking at is what?

SPEAKER_02 2:35

I think it's important, and we were first of all, let me just say, I went through some of the notes that that we could pull up today on this subject. And I actually have some notes back from 2016 of things that we've talked about in this area. So it's kind of cool. Yeah. But it just shows you that this is not a new topic for us, that understanding that

Understanding the Different Seasons

SPEAKER_02 2:57

marriage has seasons in it, um, but there's never a season to quit. Yeah. There's never a give up season. There's only a season where things might get cold and dark and lonely, just like the end of a winter that lasts too long, or the end of a summer it gets too hot, and you're waiting for that break to come. But what we know about relationships are we have the full capacity and ability to help change the seasons based on our attitude and our thoughts towards our spouse. Right. Because if you if you got married in a whirlwind and you were in love with this person and the first few years were so easy, then starting having to, you know, add children to that, and then the expectations of of their lives and your lives. You know, there's always something new in the marriage that you weren't expecting. And that's what seasons bring you. They bring you something you didn't know was coming. And so that's what I think we need to talk about today. And we've discussed this before. We've experienced it in our own marriage. We're gonna be 35 years married. 35. And even this has been a new season of embracing and understanding. And the word you use, which I love, is to recalibrate.

SPEAKER_01 4:03

Yeah. And most people wait for something on the outside. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 4:08

Something bad to happen.

SPEAKER_01 4:09

Uh, either cause them to make a change in their marriage or make a change with the marriage. You know, we're done. They wait for things on the outside, and I'm afraid that's where couples uh get in trouble because they don't realize that they have the ability to uh actually internally say, wait, let's let's communicate with each other here. Uh guess what? Uh if we want to have an exciting marriage, we we need to be thinking that it's our responsibility to do so. That's right. So I don't have to wait for you to make this marriage exciting. I don't have to, you don't have to wait for me. Uh we're looking at each other and saying, wait, let's communicate about this. Let's let's let's talk about the value of what do we need to address to make this marriage uh fulfilling and rewarding and exciting. Yeah. There's nothing wrong with admitting that sometimes marriages can get dull. Yeah. We get old, we get stuck in our ways.

SPEAKER_02 5:13

We do.

SPEAKER_01 5:14

Um we glit we get neglectful. Yeah, just from the outside. Here's what people say about marriage from the outside. People that don't have a relationship with God at all. They they look at marriage and some of them actually say, How can you sleep with that one person for the rest of your life?

SPEAKER_02 5:31

I know.

SPEAKER_01 5:32

Isn't that crazy that that's looked at as a negative instead of a positive? I know. How great is it to know that I can grow with you from this point on for the rest of our lives, and we can make some adjustments together. We don't have to trade each other in. How that's scary, Mayor. Terrifying. That you have to turn around and try to find a new one. No.

SPEAKER_02 5:56

Oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_01 5:57

So so it's really good to say, wait, marriage-wise, we're gonna go the distance here together, but I also got to recognize that if it's going to be something that's gonna last forever, we have to be wise enough to recognize, okay, we're in seasons here.

SPEAKER_02 6:16

Right.

SPEAKER_01 6:17

And we need to recalibrate.

SPEAKER_02 6:18

Yeah. And I I think I think just knowing that your marriage has seasons is liberating. It definitely takes some of the pressure off. Because if you're in a situation in a relationship and your marriage, you're at 10 years, 15 years, and you're going through it, it's a it's a tough time. It's easy to think, is this where we get off? Is this where it ends? You, you there's not a couple out there that at some point in their marriage has not entertained, is this day? Is this the day that it's over? Is this the day that leads to us getting divorced? And it doesn't have to. It could just be your mindset understanding, which takes the pressure off that every marriage has difficult seasons because you've got two people that can go through very difficult individual seasons of their own. Then you try to bring that together. And if there's no grace for one another, no real understanding for one another, and it, you know, I I remember, do you remember our 10-year mark? Do you remember your memory? We may have you remember. Of course. Yeah. We may have shared this on a podcast. I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 7:21

It was right when we were starting our church. It was right when we started our business, and we we were married right about that 10-year mark of marriage. It was actually the church, and it all was within a month, two months of each other. We started September, our anniversary is October.

SPEAKER_02 7:37

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 7:38

And uh I thought you had grace and understanding that our anniversary was not on my radar. I was busy building you you assumed incorrectly, sir.

The Danger of Misinterpreting a Season

SPEAKER_02 7:49

Because I was turning 30. I thought about this, okay? I had was pregnant with Lauren. I was big and pregnant with Lauren because it was October, and I was due in at the beginning of February, end of January with her, right? So I was just a couple months away from having my third child that I was not anticipating having.

SPEAKER_01 8:07

Right. Starting this church and our 10-year. See? And I thought you were overwhelmed. We didn't need to do anything.

SPEAKER_02 8:15

You would think that I would have been.

SPEAKER_01 8:17

I was giving you room.

SPEAKER_02 8:18

But I was going through so much internally, my own seasonal change of the big three-o, the big three babies, the Christian school, all those changes and the new change of life of starting this ministry, starting this church.

SPEAKER_01 8:32

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 8:33

Which was intense. That was a very important thing. That was an intense, exciting, but very intense change because we went from having everything to absolutely nothing except just a few families. And um, that was really exciting. But I remember my expectation was really high that somehow my 10th anniversary was going to bring me some measure of joy because you were going to go above and beyond to plan some magnificent getaway. And how I thought we could do that, because I I look back on that.

SPEAKER_01 9:05

Wait, wait, follow up because now you're gonna start thinking like a man. Go.

SPEAKER_02 9:08

No, when I look back on that, Mary, I go, what was wrong with you? We didn't have any money. We did not have any money to stay at the Holiday Inn or the Motel 6. Yeah. I mean, we literally were counting pennies, and somehow I get it in my mind because of my own seasonal change that you by taking me away to the beach somewhere that we could not have afforded, and then who would have kept our kids? Nobody wanted to keep our kids. No. Where what was I thinking? But somehow I got trapped in my own head of thinking that that would salvage this weird season, a season that I wasn't not embracing. I enjoyed the season, but there was a lot of things going on that were building up. And it was that 10-year mark of marriage that I felt like this would be a defibrillator. You know, if we go away for our university, and surely he's gonna see that and he's gonna plan something spectacular. Because I'm Juliet and I married Romeo.

SPEAKER_01 10:05

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 10:05

And he's gonna make this amazing. And I, you didn't, and the whole day went by, you didn't even, you didn't even mention it. And I cooked dinner and I kept thinking, okay, he's gonna say, let's let's go pack a bag. And I've got it all taken care of, and I'm gonna take you away and nothing. So I go sit outside on the patio all by myself to torture you. And I just sat out there and cried and cried. And worse, when you came out to try to take care of me and find out, I just froze you out. You remember, don't you? Oh, I do.

SPEAKER_01 10:35

I do. Uh it was bad. Do you know, Mary, they

How to Respond to a Seasonal Shift

SPEAKER_01 10:39

say that 26 years is about the time that a business runs its course and the average business is really operating functional successfully for about 26 years, and then people have to make a decision. What are they gonna do next? They're gonna pass it on to the next generation. Are they gonna sell it and what liquidate, merge? What are they gonna do? 26 years is a magic number. Shows you in business how, even in business, you have to be aware of seasons. Yes. We've got some friends that we're talking about, their business growing. And what it takes to build a company from uh zero to 50 employees is not the same that it takes to build from 50 to 100 employees. So what you do in one season of your business uh will only last for a period of time before you have to recalibrate, re-look at the way you're thinking about your business, look at the way you're thinking about your employees, how how your leadership has to change, because you may have been able to bring it to 50. Yeah, but do you have what it takes to bring it to 100? All of that is what we're talking about being applied to a marriage, too. We got through one year.

SPEAKER_02 11:48

That's right.

SPEAKER_01 11:49

Then that's great. But then what happens after the honeymoon's over? Yeah, you have to reprocess, recalibrate. Now you have to think, all right, I gotta act different, I gotta think different, my expectations have to be different. Then you get a child in the mix. When a child comes in the mix, oh boy, now that's a whole different recalibration that has to occur. You were good, you finally got accustomed to being a spouse. Now you have to learn how to be a parent. And it's it's it's being aware, hey, I've got to make some changes.

SPEAKER_02 12:22

That's right.

SPEAKER_01 12:22

Then you get two children. You have to change. Personally, you have to change. I have to recalibrate mentally. Not the marriage. No, the BS thing, you know, the whole belief system. All of that has to start changing in order for us to stay uh fair, stay reasonable, um, and and not let the marriage get stagnant. Right. If you let it get stagnant, then things die. And you can't let the live, the, the love die through the marriage being stagnant. And think about it, babe. We'll do this for our career. We'll do it for our kids, getting our kids ready for um school. Go ahead. Sorry, I just it's so good, but I've got a little call. That's okay. Getting the kids ready for our school season, we'll make all these changes, go out and buy them new clothes, new backpacks, everything they want. Everything they want, but it's all okay, let me get them ready for the new, but yet we don't do it for our marriage. No, it's true. So, how do we do it for our marriage? Yeah. Why are we so quiet? I don't know. I think it starts with a mindset. Yes. I think if we are at a place where we recognize it's okay to look at our marriage and say, we better do something to make this exciting.

SPEAKER_02 13:36

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 13:37

It's okay to think that way. It's healthy to think that way. It's um it's looking at in a fair, balanced way what the expectations are of this and what we should be thinking in in order to make it better.

SPEAKER_02 13:55

Right.

SPEAKER_01 13:56

So it starts with a mindset.

SPEAKER_02 13:57

It's and it starts with the individual's mindset. As a wife, I have to have the mindset that I have grace for you. And it really is a simple pattern and process of thinking because you want to have grace for your spouse, understanding that they might be going through something. So before you filter everything through your lack and what you think you need that only perpetuates the problem, you have to stop and say, okay, maybe it's me. I'm going through some things. I'm going through a change instead of just always making the marriage the problem. And it's so easy, Steve, as we know over the years, it's so easy that your you your mindset can become one that is very self-centered because it's self-induced, you know? And even the most unselfish people, when it comes to marriage, can be pressured into becoming more selfishly minded. It's not enough for me. He's not meeting my needs. I'm not getting the care I need. I would like to spend more money, and he's a miser. He won't let me. And instead of looking at the things that they have done and are doing, if you let your mindset become entrenched in all the negative of your relationship and not understand it's a season and we're going to get through this. And some marriages at some seasons need help to get through it, and that's a good thing. It's not a bad thing. But you really do have to be mindful that your mindset can trigger some things and get you stuck that can be extremely destructive to the marriage.

SPEAKER_01 15:27

Yeah. The other thing,

Priority of Time Together and Communication

SPEAKER_01 15:28

it can't just be about thinking and processing. Now I have to put it into action. Um, 10 years, we didn't do anything on that 10th year anniversary, but we have made it up since then.

SPEAKER_02 15:39

Over and over and over and over.

SPEAKER_01 15:41

Uh, and that's because when we do get around our anniversary, we know, or whatever. Uh, we times when we can see um, you know, uh we got we can put something in the calendar, say, no, we're gonna go and hang, we're gonna go do something, uh, do something together. Uh I think we got to put that mindset now into action. We should be getting away. We should. Couples need downtime away. Yeah, kids could be taken care of. Um, I I have people in my mind right now, they're like, no, I gotta have my kids with me all the time. I need to. And that usually is motivated from a place of guilt because they're not spending enough time or their career's getting the best of them or their families interfering. But parent uh couples should be able to say, okay, this is just dad and mom time. We have to go spend some time together. We we have to be very intentional, Mary. We'll do it in every area of our lives. Yes, we will. We just won't do it in our marriage.

SPEAKER_02 16:38

Well, I want to ratchet it up just a little bit there because I think we some couples take their kids with them everywhere they go because of guilt. And they do leave them a lot or they want them to enjoy the weekend away with them. Some couples do it to avoid intimacy. Some couples bring their kids around all the time because they are avoiding having those one-on-ones because it would what it would require of one or the other to really have a come to Jesus meeting and get it right.

SPEAKER_01 17:07

This is this is not pinpointing any of them out specifically, but I know this, I know this feeling. So some of our staff have been on vacation recently, and um I was reaching out to one of them, and uh, they their kids were coming up later to go hang with them. And I said, Are you excited about the kids coming up? They said, Yeah, we can't wait. We've already out talked ourselves and we need our kids. We've all been there where we're so focused, we're so accustomed to focusing on the kids that we run out of conversation with each other.

SPEAKER_02 17:39

And when our but when our kids are small and they're always in bed with us or they're always interrupting that private time, I really, because we're raising two, well, we we've raised four kids, obviously. We aren't still raising, but we're watching two of our oldest kids uh be married. And one couple, you know, the moinas had a baby right away. And in that first year of marriage, you know, you argue a lot. You fight a lot, you work a lot out in that first three years of marriage. There's a whole lot that your neighbors hear. But that's healthy and that's good because you're fighting, there's passion there. And they are doing so beautifully because they have an angel baby. Yeah. But you know, the reality is it's not bad once in a while to say, Mom and dad, take the baby, and we're gonna have a good conversation and work some things out. Because what can happen, and we're we fly over people as ministers. We kinda try to keep an eye and listen, you need to make sure and all that. So we try our best to keep an eye on marriages that are around us. Um, and we've had eyes kept on us too to make sure and guard us that we're doing it right. Because the the goal for the most happy life ever, ever, ever, ever, is one with no regret and staying married to the person of your youth. Yeah. You know, and the ones that helped you that had your children. So there's nothing wrong with having a big old argument. What's wrong is when you constantly avoid them and you let the kids get in there and everything's swept under the rug, but nothing's ever dealt with. Because you're always just dealing with the kids and you don't want to fight in front of the kids, and you don't want the kids to see. When the truth is, sometimes a daughter can get up to around 12 or 13 and be so fed up. And you've had a, you didn't know it, but you had a daughter that calls it like she sees it.

SPEAKER_01 19:16

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 19:16

And she's watching all these weird emotions go down and nothing's ever dealt with, and she's having to live in a house where there's eggshells and she's going, somebody say something. And it's important for marriages to understand, especially with children, get away and have your arguments and your differences. Work it out. If you need help to bring it in to help you recalibrate, get it.

SPEAKER_01 19:40

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 19:40

Because the goal is to stay together. The goal is to keep your business together for 26 years.

SPEAKER_01 19:45

Right.

SPEAKER_02 19:46

The goal is to keep your finances together. The goal is to not lose your home, it's to not lose your cars, not lose your children. Why are we so flippant with our marriages?

SPEAKER_01 19:55

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 19:55

Because that's the glue.

SPEAKER_01 19:56

Yeah, it is. Which then brings me to this. If we're going to uh have the shift in our mind and then we're gonna take action and start working on it, I think communication's huge, but it's huge. There's gotta be discussion. There's there's gotta be this open my heart, let me talk about it. The worst thing is to have a spouse that goes into an ostrich approach to dealing with maybe uh a feeling that's uncomfortable in the relationship, and the ostrich sticks his head in the sand and pretends nothing's going on. Well, it's hard to say to a spouse later, you should have done this if you don't sit down and express to your spouse what you would like them to do. Yeah. Communication is a beautiful thing. Take it from your head and put it on your mouth. He's a not he's not a mind reader. She doesn't read your intentions. Intentions, you know, the best had intentions, they as they say, right? I mean, none of those intentions work for you. So you don't want to just sit there and say, well, I thought you would back when we were at the 10-year mark. Uh the conversation for where we're gonna go for our 10th anniversary should have been had like a month before.

SPEAKER_02 21:10

And we could have saved money. I could have saved money.

SPEAKER_01 21:12

A month before and not sat there and dwelt on it waiting. Wait, what's he gonna do? That's right. What's he gonna do? It's an unfair expectation. Yeah. And you gotta get through that with communication. How come we can talk to everybody else, but we can't talk to our spouse?

SPEAKER_02 21:25

No, and you know what? Talk speaking of talking about.

SPEAKER_01 21:27

That was a question.

SPEAKER_02 21:28

How come? How can we well, because I think sometimes we're looking in everyone else to find out what they need and what they like to communicate with them. And with our spouses, we have a tendency to have more of a you need to figure me out, you need to speak the way I speak, instead of us learning how to speak for towards our spouse. Because I can tell you over the years, if I adopted a certain way of communicating with you and I kept hitting a wall, my immature mind would say, Well, you need to you need to respond to me the way I want you to. Instead of saying, I'm not getting through, maybe I'm not communicating right. Maybe I'm not speaking to him respectfully. Maybe the reason that he's backing off so much is because I am disrespectful. Yeah. And I just think, well, we should be able to fight and say whatever we want to say. We're married. But that's not true.

SPEAKER_01 22:17

No.

SPEAKER_02 22:17

We don't have these conflicts with people outside of our marriage because we are naturally in a uh a mindset of saying, I don't want to have conflict with them. So I put my best face on, or I try my best to communicate properly with people that aren't in my home or that aren't in my world. But with my spouse, my hair's down, gloves are off, just gonna say whatever I want to say, and you should figure it out.

SPEAKER_01 22:43

Do this, this is gonna be a real vulnerable place here. But we just processed um a season of your life uh where hormonally there were some shifts taking place for you. And it would have been easy for you to keep these things to yourself and just kind of process, and hormonally, you just will you know, kind of do the whole ostrich, put your head in the sand and pretend like it's my issue. But you didn't, and you were very forthright and discussing it out loud, verbally, looking at it, because this was one season of your life that was changing for you, and it was a big season, and it was a go, it was having an effect, good or bad, it was having an effect on our relationship. Absolutely, what's gonna happen physically, emotionally, all of that, what what's gonna happen there relationally to each other? And it had there was a resolve, there was something that you needed to do to recalibrate hormonally, yeah. And without the conversation, it would have been one of those things where it's easy to talk to my buddies about it or you know, my mom about it, the kids about it, and afraid, oh my God, if I say anything to Mary, it's gonna be World War IV in here. What do we, you know? So communication is so important about all those different seasons that we would walk into.

SPEAKER_02 24:12

Well, so much so that we're gonna do a whole podcast on from 15 to 60 dealing with your hormones because talk about seasonal changes. And the woman is affected, I think, more than a man with all those hormonal changes. Believe it. And it affects your mood, it affects how you see yourself. And honestly, sometimes it you can't even identify that the hormones are the problem. You really do think it's your husband or it's your kids. No, you really do. I'm sorry. But I would wake up um in the morning and you weren't even awake yet, and I would be mad at you.

SPEAKER_01 24:46

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 24:47

I'd be like, I can't do this. I there's no way I can't. He makes me so mad. You weren't even awake. You didn't even done anything. And it was terrible. Yeah. Now I can give away my deep dark secrets because I'm through it. But in the middle of it, it was a real issue that in my mind at the time was not my problem, it was yours. You're too aggressive. I'm tired of him being so aggressive. Everything is, you know, nothing's kind. I've been kind all these years, and my kindness has not rubbed off on him. I've been so peaceful, and he's still not. I'm sick of it. I've tried all these things, I've changed. He hasn't changed. Meanwhile, you're going, what is going on? What did I do?

SPEAKER_01 25:24

The roles reversed. No, I was being the sweet one, kind one. I wouldn't say a thing.

SPEAKER_02 25:31

Because he learned it was oozing out of my mood. It wasn't, it wasn't even just things I'd say. But these are some of the notes that I that I found because I think this is so important. It helped me learn how to speak respectfully to your spouse. Even if you're going through hormonal changes, you can feel crazy, but you don't have the right to act crazy. You've got to protect that. And if you know there's something you can do or find out if it's you, you got to do that as a wife. Because honestly, a lot of issues where the the struggle gets real can go back to hormonal changes in the wife.

SPEAKER_01 26:07

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 26:07

Not all of it, obviously.

SPEAKER_01 26:09

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 26:09

But but some of it.

SPEAKER_01 26:10

But it shows you how important to it is to recalibrate at those different seasons.

SPEAKER_02 26:15

You have to.

SPEAKER_01 26:16

You have to, which then would lead me to this. If you're going to have that time of communication, then um, you know, education's important for a family

Being Open to Learning Something New

SPEAKER_01 26:25

too, at the different say seasons, a couple at the different season. I remember early on in our marriage, and I don't want to come across as weird here, but I remember reading, I wanted to find out how can I please you? Yeah. Please you in the bedroom, please you around the living room, uh, our conversation, our dinner table. How do I please you? And I I couldn't just go off of what I thought I knew because I didn't know this part. Yeah, I had sisters growing up, but I I was never concerned about pleasing my sisters. Come on, are you kidding me? I wanted to kick their butt all the time. Pull out their hair. But um, when it came to the relationship, I needed to go go now and gain more information to make sure I knew how to communicate better with you. Right. I knew how to take care of you, which meant I had to press myself, force myself, be intentional about learning how to make sure this relationship was going to be the best that it could be. Um, not just living off of the old advice that we had when we were in year one of our marriage without kids. Right. Uh now we needed to shift with how do I do this from here on with Mary? We have a kid now. What's going to be different? What's changing? And I needed to be sensitive to that. Because even after the baby was born, there were hormonal issues that you had to contend with for a period of time. And couples experience that. Young women experience that darkness that comes over them. And a guy can't understand that. Um, with a job shift for a man, uh, a woman needs to recognize that, man, he's going through something. Right. This this is going to require now a shift, a change. If he if he's lost his job, okay, I don't have to go shopping so much, or I'm not going to push him to go to a restaurant or something. It's just being sensitive to the seasons that the relationship is in. And right now, as kids go back to school, moms are home, maybe dads are going back to their normal schedule. Yeah. Families are now having to recalibrate with the changes that comes with now homework and getting your kids to the gymnasium because they're going to do gymnastics or they're going to play soccer. All of that comes back upon a family, and it's just healthy that the couple and the family says, all right, it's time for us to shift. Now we got to make some changes with this new season.

SPEAKER_02 28:56

Yeah. You know what we need to do a podcast on? A whole podcast on is money in marriage and how husbands and wives respond differently to it. Yeah. That's a big one. Because there's a lot of times in our marriage that I just thought you were being cheap to be cheap and you were holding out just for me. You were just trying to, I don't know. You just get crazy thoughts when you're going through hormonal changes. And I learned how to navigate that, those landmines.

SPEAKER_01 29:22

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 29:23

And what you were processing as to why you would say we can't do certain things.

SPEAKER_01 29:27

Well.

SPEAKER_02 29:27

It was helpful.

SPEAKER_01 29:28

It is. It's very helpful. And uh I would just end on this note. We have our wonderful iPhones, and it's always cool to get a new iPhone because it's uh bigger or the camera on it's better, the speed may be better, you might have bigger memory on it. All that's wonderful. But I noticed this about the phones that I have. You have. Or to upgrade it. Yeah. These apps on this phone are getting updates regularly to fix some of the flaws that is in it. So it doesn't mean I have to always go get a new one to upgrade it.

SPEAKER_02 30:18

That's right.

SPEAKER_01 30:18

I'm getting upgraded every day by one app or something else to make the phone better. And that's what we would say about relationships.

SPEAKER_02 30:25

That's good.

SPEAKER_01 30:26

You just gotta make sure you keep the old model.

SPEAKER_02 30:30

Just get the updates.

SPEAKER_01 30:31

And just get the regular updates that uh come so that you could then calibrate along the way to keep your marriage happy and healthy. Because if you don't give up, no, because if you keep the long

Closing Thoughts

SPEAKER_01 30:44

game approach, geez, Barry, 35 years, girl.

SPEAKER_02 30:47

Greatest life you could ever live.

SPEAKER_01 30:49

So many wonderful blessings as a result of it. So, and that's that's due in large part to you. So to you. Yeah, happy anniversary, soon. Happy anniversary, so we hope that you have enjoyed this Alesi Family Business Podcast. We've enjoyed sharing with you, and hopefully, if you have to recalibrate, upgrade, do it. And maybe some of the things we shared with you today will help you do that. Thanks for joining.

SPEAKER_00 31:15

You've just enjoyed another episode of the Family Business Podcast with the Alessis, and we can't thank you enough for being a part of our podience today. Now that you've learned more about us, here's how you can join in in the family business. First, make sure you're following our podcast right now and download this episode so you can hear it at any time. Second, think of someone you know that might need or enjoy this episode and share it with them. You'll be helping them and helping us to spread the word about the family business. Third, go to AlesiFamily Business.com and tap the Ask the Alessies button. This is really cool. You can use it to record a voicemail comment or question, and we can add your voice to our conversations. Finally, while you're on our page, tap the reviews tab and you'll see a link to leave a review on Apple Podcasts. We love reading your reviews and we might even share them on the show. Thanks again for joining us, and we'll see you next time at the Family Business with the Alesssies because family is everybody's business.