Sharing the Mic: How We Communicate Truth in Our Family Business | S2 E10

Intro to Season 2, Ep 10

SPEAKER_00 0:09

We want to welcome you to another episode of the Family Business Podcast with the electees. And this is a lot of fun today because we're talking about family business. Because family is everybody's business. And today it's Christopher and I sitting around the table, and we're going to be talking about something that we cannot talk about on Sundays. If you are a member of what we do, our organization, our business, we don't talk about this, but we both talk on Sundays. So we're going to be talking about communicating, how both of us are sharing in the communication roles here at the church that we pastor, and how we make room for the gift that is uh similar to my main gift as the senior leader. So, Chris, you want to say hi?

SPEAKER_01 1:08

Hi, everybody. Good to be here today. I'm excited for this topic. Uh, this is going to be interesting. Uh, this is one, again, we have we have Kenny. Kenny. Some people have submitted the name Benny. I'm keeping Kenny. What was Benny for? Uh Benny Hannes. Um the Bulls. The Bull's mascot. Benny the Bull. Penny the Bull. But I don't know. But I I like to.

SPEAKER_00 1:32

Don't confuse me because I'll call him Kenny and then Benny.

SPEAKER_01 1:35

His name is Kenny. And then Penny. His name, his name is Kenny. Kenny. That's his name until Instagram talks.

SPEAKER_00 1:41

And the reason Kenny is on the desk is because we're going to be talking about something that, with many leaders that do come alongside each other and work together, especially in our line of work, this is really an issue that causes problems. Oh, yeah. Problems for the senior generation and even the next generation coming up behind them. And it could be a bone of contention. Yeah. And what we're going to be talking about, Chris, is this you and I are communicators. Now, if you look at my role in the organization as the senior leader, my role is really to communicate in the services on the weekend. Your role is more of an assistant to come along with what the senior leader needs. And then because you're a campus pastor, like Armando is at our Daydeland campus, you're the campus pastor in our Doral campus. Your role is everything campus related. But early on, uh, I don't know if it was 16 or 17. Early on, you were given the platform when you were leading the youth to start communicating and speaking. And you started at that level. And I even have notes in my phone that I took. And one of the notes were just things you would do back then when you would speak publicly, fidgeting, flicking your nose, um, all that kind of stuff, your stories, your humor, your jokes. I could go through it. Actually, I did the other night with Manny Paula as he and I were in the uh room at the end of our one of our big events. The other thing I had were Christopher isms. Yeah. It's in my notes, things that you would uh just that would be okay. This could get in the way of him being a communicator.

SPEAKER_01 3:37

And the joke wasn't that those were the crazy things I used to do.

SPEAKER_00 3:41

The joke was that still do some of those things. It would talk it. Gosh, man, 12 years ago.

SPEAKER_01 3:47

Well, I my first sermon, I was 18. You asked me before I went to Southeastern, you asked me to preach a message. Now I was a worship leader, and at that time I thought the appropriate way to lead worship was to speak for six or seven minutes to get people involved. Yeah. But my first sermon was 18, and then I got to doing it pretty regularly, uh, really when I was 20. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 4:08

So in our organization, what usually happens, a senior leader holds that position until the day he moves on. Yep. Okay. But what we have found is those early years really allowed you to hone in on a skill that you enjoyed.

Learning How to Communicate

SPEAKER_00 4:28

Not just speaking. This is where I want to make sure people who hear me understand. This is not about you being a speaker. Okay. This is about you being a communicator. Taking something that is very spiritual and putting it in a way that communicates, understanding what is spiritual, but very practically. So you take the spiritual, you make it practical, and you do so with an ability that really surpasses your years. All right. So what do I do? How do I manage that when me as the senior leader looks at the junior coming up behind me that has a gift and skill? Do I just leave it for the young people? Or do I look and think, wait a minute? One, he needs to develop it to its fullest potential because that's going to be his role in the future. And two, these people need it. Our organization needs it. Well, I chose not to leave it for just the younger generation. I chose to start to introduce it a few years ago into the senior generation so that our whole church family, both campuses, are able to receive the information that you are communicating. And at the same time, it's preparing for you the future. And I wanted to do that, but I had to be very careful too, because I didn't want you to burn out. Because our line of work, that if you're preaching every week, that's 50 messages you come up with every year. You do that for 10 years, that's 500 messages. And you won't, you're tempted to go back and repeat, but it's not easy. You still got to get up. So you are you got a long road ahead of you.

SPEAKER_01 6:28

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 6:28

Uh so you know, how do we navigate that, Chris?

SPEAKER_01 6:32

Well, I think the first part of navigating it was um understanding the training aspect of it. So I was given a training ground. And truth be told, you really did give me a lot of room. Um, you gave me a lot of room to just figure things out. Now, that was not a space lacking accountability. I couldn't just do whatever I wanted.

SPEAKER_00 6:53

Marcus, son is bringing us some hot coffee. Thank you.

SPEAKER_01 6:58

Go for it. Um So when we say training ground, it wasn't a place, you know, lacking accountability. You know, you would you would reference how long I would preach. Uh, I did have three sisters who would come home and tattletale. So if I did preach too long, they would get home before I would and you would know about it. So it didn't lack accountability, but you did give me an opportunity to really hone the craft, to practice every week, to figure things out. You also were very, very intentional about training me to do it right, not training me to be you. And that was one of the really cool differences between my dad and some of my other friends' dads. You you were able, and I don't know how, so you have to speak to it. You were able to say, these are the right ways to preach. And this is how you, as the mature experienced pastor, do it. But I can find my own way in the way that my brain works, the way that I communicate. I, for instance, you preach with a full uh manuscript, really. And the real, the real amazing thing there is that on a Thursday or Friday, you can sit and really develop thoughts on paper. For whatever reason, I can't do that. I have no idea why. What I need to do is I need to develop things really just by talking to people, just in my mind throughout the day. And then Saturday night, Sunday morning, I have a little one sheet. This is just I before I leave here today, I need to say them, and I think this is the best order to do it. And it works for me. Your way works for you. So you were you were training me, you gave me room to to really hone the craft. But I loved that you taught me to do things right. People do not realize how much you corrected my preaching, they don't see it. At the same time, I probably don't see just how much you didn't address. Because I did look at that list you sent me the other day and was like, I still do a lot of those things.

SPEAKER_00 8:59

Do you see my face? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So there's there was I'm holding this look. Why? No, because no, I really do look at it. Okay, for instance, I didn't. You saying I can't do that for whatever reason, and yet you sit down and write a manuscript for a book. I okay.

SPEAKER_01 9:17

Uh come on. But but okay, I guess, yeah. You win on that one.

SPEAKER_00 9:23

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 9:24

One point for you.

SPEAKER_00 9:25

But it is And the only reason I bring that up is because every one of those sermons, that communication will one day be a book, and having that manuscript is great. Now you go back afterwards and you take your sermon and you have it put in a machine and it regurgitates everything in written format. I can't do that. But uh, yeah, because what you say lasts for one generation, what you write lasts for two generations.

SPEAKER_01 9:50

I I I think you just you you really helped me be the best version of me. So when I used to preach, I used to like spend 20 minutes almost like in some kind of comedy routine because it made me feel better, it made me feel like people were enjoying it. And we said, Chris, that's your moment to connect with the crowd. Yeah. So I was like, hey, that's what I'm gonna do. And then the last 10 minutes, which is why the messages would go long, were me trying to now actually communicate a message now that I just joked about you know something that happened in my life for 20 minutes. Yeah. And people enjoyed it at the time. They would always be like, you know, you're so funny. And I thought this was my thing. All the parents in the room were like, oh, he's so cute. Yeah. I I really thought this was my thing. And I remember on one particular Sunday where I thought I had really done good. Uh, it was even a Monday night, I think, actually, not a Sunday. You came and you were like, you've got to find a way to get out of it. I just stopped doing that. Now, I think I think what do we call that?

SPEAKER_00 10:44

The long runway. Oh, yes. It was a long runway for you to try to get this big thing up in the air.

SPEAKER_01 10:51

And part of that wasn't because the message needed it, but because like the messenger needed it. I didn't feel comfortable. But you found a way to say, okay, now while you didn't do that, you would you'd start preaching and get right into your message. You helped me find the best way to do that for me, not saying, hey, do what I do, but think how I think. And however that comes out, because you have a different brain, praise God. But you do need to think how I think. I mean, Dad, you've been doing it so long to rob me of all that training would be unfair.

SPEAKER_00 11:24

Right.

SPEAKER_01 11:24

But to try to make me into a mold that I don't fit in at the same time would be equally as unfair.

SPEAKER_00 11:29

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 11:30

So that's one thing that you did. Um, how did you do that?

SPEAKER_00 11:33

Well, I think for one thing, people ask, okay, how do you even prepare for a sermon? All right. So

Steve Alessi - How I Develop a Sermon

SPEAKER_00 11:40

I know this as uh just in our line of work, I'm the shepherd.

SPEAKER_01 11:44

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 11:45

And uh, meaning I'm the leader of these sheep, the people in this organization. So the shepherd always leads, they're taking them somewhere, plus they're protecting them along the way and they're feeding them. So I think in terms of this organization that I'm over and the people that I get to communicate with on the weekends are people that I'm in relationship with. They're looking to me for leadership, not just to feel good, but they're really looking for me from a leadership perspective. So my focus has always been how can I communicate something to them that's going to feed them, make them feel good, give them energy, give them uh, you know, strength, and then help them go in the direction that their creator wants them to go into. And when you do it as an organization, then we all should be on the same page, moving, as it were, from from pasture to pasture where the grass is green, and and that's what the shepherd does, lets them eat in one place, but then when all the the the grass is chewed up and that they move them elsewhere to chew up, then they come back. So that's my role. So what I'm thinking, slow down, Steve, is all year long, I'm like, where do I want to end up at the end of the year with this organization? What am I going to be feeding them? The God component is that He gives inspiration, gives ideas. So my job is to make sure I'm reading the manuscript, which is our Bible. And as I read that, there's things that come to light for me that I know let me delve into because the organization needs it. The church needs this. Some of it I don't personally have the revelation for. So I have to go study and see what others have said about it and get that, like reading a book or reading uh the the uh uh um concordance, what what this writer is saying about this subject matter that then gives me an understanding. So I then have to sit down. So I start with a subject, all right? Overcomer. I know there's places in the Bible that talks about the overcomer. Greater is he that's in you than he that's in the world, meaning I've got more power in me than the thing that's on the outside of me, so I can overcome it. So I start looking in the scripture, I find what helps me communicate it from the Bible because I don't want to be sharing just some motivational speakers information. I want to find out what the creator has to say about that. Then I find that, and then I start looking at maybe a story, some scripture verses, but then a story that's gonna help me now communicate. And then when I get into that story, either I find as I'm reading it, principles that help get out, get through, and get this message across, or I go and I find information that's gonna help me do that. Once I get that, here's my my uh three or four pieces, things I want to put out there and say, then I'm looking for some form of closing, and I'm like, okay, how can I wrap this up and bring it all together? So we start my format that quite frankly I saw you do early, and I liked it a lot better than the format I had. Was we give an intro. After that intro, we share that passage, we find that passage, we put them out there because we want people to see this is coming from our Bible. Then I go into a story. That story has to somehow humanize this subject matter that we're going to be sharing. Okay. After that, we get into the nuts and bolts. That story probably is going to cause us to recognize a problem, right? Yep. We're gonna see what a problem looks like in the story, then we're gonna figure out how to get out of that problem into the solution, into the solution, which I'm always huge on the solution side. Gotta be. I I have a hard time with a person that just communicates the problem, the problem, the problem, the problem. I like to know, give me a solution, please. So I'm solution-minded. I want to get out of it. And then, of course, we bring in our ending. Chris, part of this, I used to do it a different way. Part of it was I would look at the way you would do it, and I would say, okay, that really works for a general audience. You've grabbed hold of some real good voices out there that you adopted that same model from. I would go back and listen to some of the voices that I would listen to, and one in particular, um, can't remember his name right now, from South Africa or Africa. He he would do the same. And I'm like, man, I liked it when I was in that environment. That's a great way to bring this communication to the people. Yeah. And so because you said to me earlier, how do you do it? How did you do it with me, Dad? The way that I was able to do this with you is because I received from you. Yeah, you're my kid. And at the time you were in your 20s. And I've heard a lot of good preachers. I'm not sure I enjoy listening to anybody right now as much as I enjoy listening to you. Yeah, I know. No, because Chris, you're good. So look, you started flying at your elevation. I could not call, ask you to come down to a lower elevation. But you had to be flying there. Now I know a lot of guys on my seat, pastors, they just throw their kids up there because of the last name. That was never going to be the case with you. That's never going to be the case with Stephanie singing or Lauren or Gabby in their gifting. It's not because they share the last name. They'll be given an opportunity. They'll be given the time to learn it and to develop the skill, but they're never going to be put up there just because they have the last name. They have to carry it. And you were carrying it at such a high elevation that it would have been wrong of me for this generation of leaders and people in our organization that are watching and are contributing, that are here, it would be wrong of me to not allow them to receive what you're bringing to the table at a high elevation and the generation that you speak to. It would be, they would miss out on this information if you weren't sharing it. And I always mention to you about the the 10-year, uh, the 10-year circle that I have, you know, 10-year higher, 10-year uh lower, above and beneath. I know as a leader, I'm touching people 10 years older than I am and 10 years younger than I am. Yeah. You're doing the same. So my point was from that, I'm 60 at this point. At that time, I was 50. I'm reaching 60 and I'm reaching 40. Who's reaching the 20s and the 30s?

SPEAKER_01 18:46

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 18:47

There was nobody else in betweens. And here you come on the scene with the ability to communicate. And it's like, all right, let me let him speak. He's my DNA. Uh he's got the same spirit that's in his mom and I. He's going to be able to share that and communicate it. He's gifted. Whatever's going on up in your brain, I tell people when they talk about what a good job you did when you speak. I would go in and look in your room and check your computer and see, okay, what preacher is he listening to? Where did he copy that sermon? I'd Google the title of that sermon. He copied it from somebody. You did ask me for years. You'd be like, where did he be? Yeah, yeah. Because most of us copy to start. But yours was a gift. So how do I not allow this organization to receive from you at this point? And and may I may I say, let's close with this before we're done. How not to feel insecure as a senior leader when the junior leader's coming up with a gift that at almost 30 is equal to, if not even better. That's a big deal too.

SPEAKER_01 19:57

But

Respecting our Unique Gifts

SPEAKER_01 19:58

well, first of all, if we have Kenny the bull, we need to have like Benny the bunny for when our sweet moments. Because that I I don't I don't I don't think people recognize that you're the most effective communicator I've met. Oh. And the reason for that is you have really found a way to communicate things to me when it's just us that really, really shatter my thinking, that really, really change. Um when people do come up and give me, and I'm being as genuine as I can be. When people come up and give me some type of compliment, they're speaking to the exact things that you taught me to do. Hard for me to take any credit.

SPEAKER_00 20:37

Right.

SPEAKER_01 20:37

It's hard for me to be like, well, you know, the Lord is, you know. No, it's it's like people are like, you know, you speak so mature for your age. And I'm like, well, that's because my dad told me to stop joking around so much.

SPEAKER_00 20:48

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 20:48

So you told me something when I was when I first got started. You know, at that point, yeah, I was I was pure. And at that point, it was more pure by uh happenstance, not really by decision at the at that time. And you told me that revelation always comes through purity, and it would only come. That I'd always have the gifting, but that the revelation would only come through purity. And you would remind me of that every time I needed to be reminded of that. You're the most effective communicator because I I believed you. I believed you. And now it was okay. This next season, I I I don't I don't want to be robbed of the weight. Right. So, you know, I I hope that when parents or kids listen to this and they hear the kind things that you've said, they do not rush to put an unpure vessel in a position where purity is demanded.

SPEAKER_00 21:42

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 21:42

Um you would communicate things to me. I remember you walking in my room at 25 saying, You'll never be anything if you can't get out of your own way. That's not an easy message to preach. But the only reason that your ministry is so effective. Effective is because you live out every one of those messages. And the only reason that I could ever really look at you and say, that's a really mean thing you just said to me, but you're right, is because you live those things out first. So not to just go back and forth, you know, patty caking on compliments, but that I really do mean that.

SPEAKER_00 22:18

Right. I got you, buddy. And I appreciate that. And I uh there'll be a day when you uh it won't be your dad you hear as much uh as much as it's the one who called you to this. And that's you know my job is to make sure that you're always listening to uh his voice. Not that I won't be here, but you're you're you'll step into that role where it won't be what my dad told me, and my dad said it'll be well, you know, I heard from God and I I felt this in my heart, and and that's a beautiful thing. Uh I think from our standpoint, Chris, every senior leader needs to know something. Two are better than one. Yeah. And our organization is stronger, not just because me and mom share in communication responsibilities, but because me, mom, you, and eventually your sisters who have different skill sets, but right now it's us three that are carrying the communicating and we are better too. Threefold cord is not easily broken. The organization is better. Now, if I don't like that because my ego can get bruised, that's mine to deal with. Yeah. I I I won't let that happen. I won't let that happen. Because any feelings that I may have of like, wow, I'm being replaced, or uh, I'm not needed, I'm not near as valued, I'm getting too old, I'm aging out, any of those thoughts that the voices will come to me and say, not just about you, your mom dealing, watching Stephanie sing and writing music and songs and seeing then Gabby get up and Gabby

Elevating the Next Generation

SPEAKER_00 24:20

lead like she's leading. Those voices come to every person that is a senior leader operating at an organization when the junior, the next generation, comes on with such strength. That's what you want. That's what you prepare for. What you can't do is sabotage it by going small. I remember Joseph Garlington preaching a sermon on small yourself up. Well, the small part of it is keeping our pride at bay. But I can't go so small in my thinking that I can't be looking at you and anyone else that uh in the family. Your mom can't do it about Steph, saying, look at their skill, their gift. We need them. And this organization that we lead that gives continuously, they have or they deserve the opportunity to see that the next generation is being prepared for. We're just not going to wing it out there. We're going to keep our standards high. Because Chris, if you couldn't do this, if you couldn't communicate, you wouldn't be on that stage as frequently as you are. But they deserve seeing what the next generation looks like. Because they invest their dollars, not just because there's a building here. They invested into us as leaders. And we want to make sure that they are uh getting a return on that investment because your gifting and your skill gives me great pride. I'm proud of that. And I got to be careful that I don't get too proudful because I don't want to exalt you either before your time. But that's the balance that's that's what I'm so thankful for.

SPEAKER_01 26:08

I'm I I genuinely feel like I feel a lot of things, but I also feel like anyone who's 30 and thinks that they got this whole thing figured out has a really small vision for the world. I could figure it all out by 30. So I look at myself and say, I have a lot of room to grow. It's why I started my master's this week. It's I have a lot more I could learn and a lot more room to grow. And I know that in that form where I'm already, I'm already, I've got 10 years on this thing now, but I got a lot more to go. In that world, I'm safe here. I can be led here. I can follow well here. And I I wonder, you know, we've we've talked about writing a book together, working, what is it? Working uh, working for and with dad, and then working with and for the son, something like that. Um in that whole thing, Dad, I I really do feel like I I can I can work for you. And you have told me in the past, you've reminded me, hey, you're not working, you know, with me, son. You're working for me. Those developmental years, that wasn't a pride thing. That was making sure I got the most of all those those seasons. And so, you know, all that all that development happened. And I I really do feel like I really do feel like, you know, my wife and I are really good here.

SPEAKER_00 27:37

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 27:37

We're safe here. And when we do have kids, I want them here.

SPEAKER_00 27:42

Yeah. It's yeah, that's the sad thing. Some of the young guys working for their uh family, they they have to go and uh try their own thing. And uh sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. I'm listening to a couple of family business podcasts, and there's not too many of them uh that are out there, and I've searched and I've looked, and a couple start, but then they stop. And you know what usually happens in with some of these multi-generational businesses is that the sibling, the child, uh graduates from school and then they got to go find their own thing and they go run their own business or they go work for somebody else, only to later in their 40s sit back and say, My gosh, I need to go back to where I started. I had an opportunity there. And then they go back and they're playing and catch up. Yeah, they bring certain skill sets to the table they may not have had, but maybe they would have if they would have stayed there. Maybe their roots would have been deeper if they stayed there and they would have had even more skills because of now the opportunity that would have been given to them. I think our job, our line of work in ministry, I think it's multi-generational. Yeah, I really do. Not all businesses are, not all ministries are. I think ours is. Uh, I had my father, worked for him for 13 years, left him for 15, then went back and took over, and we've got two beautiful campuses to enjoy it today. Um, you know, I even thought at one time maybe that was just a single generation uh ministry there. But uh it's a multi-generational. So I work for my dad, I get the privilege of uh working uh in ministry, and then I have you behind us, and of course, our next goal is to get whatever comes out of you and your sisters prepared for that next generation, which is a whole podcast in itself. Oh my gosh. Because sleeve to sleeve means uh most businesses only last three generations, and uh there's there's a way I think most multi-generational business businesses most only last one. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 29:40

But most multi-generational only get to three, they never even get to four. They don't get to three.

SPEAKER_00 29:45

We will because I think there's another component that if we could lock into, that's a whole different podcast. I can't wait to already been thinking on it. If we can lock into it, then we don't have to stop with Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, because that's not where the promise ended. It went on. Anyhow, um, one of the things we got to do uh is make sure we're protecting ourselves from

Silencing Voices of Comparison

SPEAKER_00 30:06

the voices.

SPEAKER_01 30:06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 30:07

And the voices that uh are in our own head, but also the voices of people. Yeah. People unknowingly could cause a rift between the junior and the senior generation that are both sharing the same platform. Yeah, uh, they can make ridiculous comments and they don't even realize a spouse can make a comment and not even realize that they are driving a wedge between the two generations. Yeah. And that the senior generation needs to protect his platform because look what so-and-so's saying to them, or the younger generation is saying, oh man, uh, I want what they have and I'll never get it because so-and-so's telling me I'm the I'm really good. We're very open about that, you and I. We're open when those texts come from sweet people that mean well. Yeah, they do. They're just trying to pay a compliment. They're playing paying a compliment. They don't realize how the enemy will grab that thought, and you're laying there in the middle of the night, can't sleep, and all of a sudden, boom. It's like a replay of that whole conversation by text, and you're thinking, well, maybe I do deserve it. Well, yeah, it's a unique role that we both share. And I'm cool sharing it with you. I'm cool sharing it with your mom. I've been doing it a long time. I'm not done. You're just beginning. Yeah. Um, no,

Chris Alessi - How I Develop a Sermon

SPEAKER_00 31:32

you you've been doing this for a bit. You're not just beginning.

SPEAKER_01 31:34

No, I was gonna say, you work for Papa 13 years. I just made 10 last week. Yeah. Almost to 13.

SPEAKER_00 31:40

Almost to 13. Yeah. Uh, we don't want you to get to 13 and blow it up. It's not gonna be unlucky 13.

SPEAKER_01 31:46

No, no, no, no, no. We're gonna redeem that number.

SPEAKER_00 31:48

But let me ask you before we close this thing out, give a quick rundown. How do you prepare your message? Okay. Uh, this is gonna sound insane, but it's um somebody is listening that needs direction here. Yeah. So go give them the nuts and bolts.

SPEAKER_01 32:03

Okay, number one, uh, make sure you're actively in the word for your own study and edification. Make sure that you do not sit down to read the word only when you need to put a thought together. Um, most of uh this might not make any sense. Most of the messages that God gives me, I'm not reading the Bible.

unknown 32:21

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 32:22

I'm just thinking, Oh, I got it. But it's because I've been reading that all of a sudden, you know, I'm having a conversation with Rochelle or something's happening and boom, it's there.

SPEAKER_00 32:30

So at the same time, you never want to use your reading time for that personal devotion just to find discernment. No, gotta feed yourself first before you can feed others.

SPEAKER_01 32:41

Yeah. You you've you've got you've got to have a relationship with God that, and I forgive me for not using a better term, but that should be envied. Other people need to look at the way that I as a preacher walk with God and say, that's how I want to walk with God. So that's gotta happen. Number one. Number two number one. But once a thought hits, once something comes, I I really do, I think, okay, how do I connect people to this? That used to be through stories that had nothing to do with the message, but there was a component that I could commute, I could, you know, transition. Lately, it's turned more into how do I make the person listening to this message feel like they're actually watching this story unfold, or even better, how do I get to where this person feels like whatever the main character of the story is, that's them. So I really do look at how do I connect with people? That starts mostly with me doing that. What would have I thought? What would have I felt? And I have to be completely honest as possible. If I was uh Abraham and God came and asked me for Isaac, what would I think?

SPEAKER_00 33:46

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 33:47

You know, um, what would I feel? And I have to be as honest as I possibly can be, because that's probably what other people are feeling.

SPEAKER_00 33:54

Right.

SPEAKER_01 33:55

Um, so once that comes, there's the connection portion. It's like you said, now I've got to really develop the problem. Now I've got to think, okay, people need to see the value of this message. If it's solution-minded without a problem, there is no point for your message. I literally walked in, patted everyone on the back, and said, way to go. Um, so I have to develop the problem. This is something that you taught me to do. I have to connect the problem to every person in the room because not everyone has the same problem. So you literally taught me, say, maybe it's your school teacher, maybe it's your addictions, maybe it's this. So once I've connected every person to that, I actually don't have to spend too much time connecting people to the problem because if they feel like they're in that story, their spirit and their brains are doing that for them now. And then of course it's the solution minded. Um that has really started to change as I've preached, and I guess the revelation's gotten different to where the it's not, it really is developing one thought that becomes so many, and it's one thing. So it's it's different.

SPEAKER_00 35:03

Yeah. And then how do you close it out?

SPEAKER_01 35:08

I this is I I have to close it out by pointing back to whatever the one thing is. I have to let somebody know when they leave here today. You know, when when people try to describe what a TED talk was, they normally say you just gotta watch it. Yeah, that kind of preaching is not really effective. No. If people think they had to be there to understand, so I have to bring back people to what that one thing is.

SPEAKER_00 35:33

Yeah. And I hope you you will always stay in that posture of a communicator. Because it's one thing to preach. Preach is sometimes just shouting, uh, trying to get your point across. Communicating is okay, let me get you to understand this because in today's day, we've got people that are listening to us with all different kinds of voices that are going on. There's a lot of chatter, and we got to get through that chatter uh to help people hear something that is not necessarily what we're saying, but is more deity. Yeah, that is heaven trying to say something into their situation. Well, that's a true blessing, and I'm thankful that this is something that you and I can work on, and we're aware of it. And it is, we discuss it, we we talk about it quite quite a bit. Quite often. You'll notice when we come off that platform, we're all giving each other some, you know, hug, compliments, uh, praise for what happened. Um, we're very sensitive to it. And again, this is not just you and I, this is your mom and the sisters who are singing and taking leadership. And whether it's preaching, singing, or it's thinking Gabby's leading, it's easy to see wow, what gifting is coming up behind us.

SPEAKER_01 36:49

And I'm the one with a degree in psychology, and yet somehow Lauren is becoming the one that everyone wants to talk to psychology about because she's wicked brilliant.

SPEAKER_00 36:58

So it's it's across the board. It is. And isn't that something we all got to talk ourselves off the cliff? We can't feel less than. Uh, and speaking of, you know, you you had a degree

Closing Thoughts

SPEAKER_00 37:09

in psychology, but you didn't have anything when it came to theology. You had a little some classes going on. I asked you guys, I wanted to make sure you were balanced in your theology. So I said, hey, go to Faith Christian University. So you started taking classes, didn't COVID came, kind of messed things up there. But now we had a conversation about a month and a half ago. Lauren's pursuing her master's in counseling, and we're like, Chris, you got time now. Yeah. Let's get your master's. Yep. If you're gonna write a book, you're gonna be leading pastor as a pastor, it's sure. Sounds nice. It because now people can listen to you because this guy's done some work behind the scenes to prepare him for the material. So you are pursuing your master's in theology from Liberty University. Yes, I am. Started yesterday. Yep. And it's worth the investment from our church to give you incentives to pursue your education.

SPEAKER_01 38:11

We want you to be sharp. And I just want everyone listening to hear what he just said. The only reason people would listen to me, technically, right now, people listen, but I love that your I read this. Your leadership of me says, but there's a greater amount of people. And so the leadership does not end because I'm turning 30 or because I'm getting pretty good at it. There's continued leadership. He taught me just a couple of months ago, he taught me how to pray better for my messages. Right before I preach, I go up and I say a quick prayer. He corrected John. He corrected the way that I pray for that message. Coached, not corrected. It was corrected. And I love it because he's right. And every single time I'm praying, I'm thinking, gosh, this is way better. So everyone listening, if you're a senior leader, please keep coaching your kids. Yeah. Because they they always need it.

SPEAKER_00 39:01

All right, we're 37 minutes and nine seconds into this thing. Thank you for joining us for another Family Business Podcast with TLS. TLSEs. Take care.