From Mother to Daughter: Honest Questions about Marriage, Motherhood and Changing Seasons | S3 E17

Intro: SN 3, EP 17

SPEAKER_02 0:09

Welcome to another edition of the Alessie Family Business Podcast. With the Alessis, I am Mary Alesi and Stephanie Muina's here with me today. Hello, hello. Our beautiful daughter. We like to say Stephanie Alesi Muena. She likes to say Stephanie Muina because she's just married. So we just know she's all of those things. And I'm glad that she's here with me

Stephanie’s Big Updates

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today. And it's been a while since we've done this together, you and I. Yes, it has been.

SPEAKER_03 0:34

The last time you and me was before I got married, I think. Do you even remember that? No, I do not.

SPEAKER_02 0:40

Because a lot has happened in your life.

unknown 0:41

Yes.

SPEAKER_03 0:42

Tell everybody what's happened in the last 18 months. Well, after our podcast, I got married, and then two months into marriage, we got pregnant with our first brother. Yes, you did. And I'm a month out from having my first girl. We are four weeks four.

SPEAKER_02 0:56

To when Gianna is to be born. Yep, she's coming. She's coming. We're so excited.

SPEAKER_03 1:00

No, I do not remember at all the last time we did podcast.

SPEAKER_02 1:03

Well, you know, to if it's any consolation, I remember very little as well because we've had not only you got married, your brother got married. So we had bridal showers and we had weddings, and then we turned right around and had a baby shower. Yes. So uh we're showered. We're done for the next five years. We just need a little break. Yes. And uh, but it's just good for us to get into the podcast booth and talk about something that actually somebody wrote in recently and asked about

Listener Question: What Do Moms Wish They Had Known?

SPEAKER_02 1:30

us sharing and covering this particular topic. Yes. And I thought, you know, this is a great topic because we're kind of ahead of the game for you. Yeah because this is one of those I wish I would have known conversations that I know for me, I wish I would have known. I had a very wise uh mom and very informed mom. And she would help me as it was happening. But again, I'd say, man, I wish I would have known that earlier going in because expectations are everything. Yes. And when you get married, if your expectations aren't realistic, you're gonna have some issues. When you start having kids, if your expectations aren't realistic, you're gonna really hit the wall. So we're gonna talk about that because it's it's so important. It won't just save you in the day that you're having a frustrated panic day because everything's coming at you at once. It just saves like an entire season. So I really know that you had some questions that you just wanted to pitch to me. So I'm gonna just be mom here for a minute. Yes. And answer those questions. Let's do it.

SPEAKER_03 2:31

And I can we can sort of recreate our conversations of what all right, let me get ready here. Okay, go settle in. Settle in. Yeah, so I have a few questions for you. Okay. Um, you I'll explain your background just a little bit. And you had four kids. Yes. Not only you had four kids in 10 years, right? About eight years?

SPEAKER_02 2:52

About seven and a half, eight years.

SPEAKER_03 2:54

Seven and a half, eight years. You had them all through your 20s and 30s, and then but I had three of them within four years. Yeah, you did. So they were back to back. Yes, no matter what, it was crazy. It was a lot. And not only that, dad was very, very driven. You guys were building a church from the ground up in Miami, Florida, in Durral, Florida, of all places, uh, with a very small group of people. So that's a lot of work. And then you were also putting out music, wanting to put out songs and write albums and just fulfill your calling in that. So it wasn't only just dad who had a lot of dreams. It was both you and him building a church together. That's right. And you had your own dream of doing music, but you also loved being a mom. I did. That was one thing that is for sure. You never neglected being a mom. We always had our American Idol nights on Monday nights. I'll always remember that. So I I know that so many women would look at you and say, How the heck did you manage all of that? Right. Um, I want to get rid of the words manage and balance because I don't feel like that's a that's a myth. You guys have told us it's a myth. It's a myth. So I have a few questions regarding this whole season. Okay, I'm ready. And tell me the pure, honest truth. Number one, to start off very simply, what is it like to be married

When You Feel Stuck At Home

SPEAKER_03 4:20

to a very driven husband when there are days where you're at home all alone with four babies.

SPEAKER_02 4:27

Oh my goodness. Well, I will take you back to the days, the dark days that I felt neglected. I felt alone. I felt like I was just completely engulfed in either baby vomit, baby something. But here's the other thing. All day long I was in mean mom mode. So all day long it was like, no, don't do that. Stop that. Come over here right now. And you feel like you're just this mean person all day long and you've no outlet. And every tone that comes out of your mouth is is an angry tone and a frustrated tone. And I, if you don't stop and you your kids don't listen, I'm gonna count to three and you can count to 10, and they're still not gonna listen. And you try everything to be a good mom, and you do have those days where you just feel like, I can't keep the house clean. They don't listen to me. I need help. I can't do this. Yeah. But at the same time, you can struggle with thoughts, and I know I did, where I wanted these kids so bad. I wanted you guys, but then I did not realize that that season was going to be so short, it'd be over so quickly. But in the process of it, you start thinking, but I'm a person, yeah, I have dreams, I have skills, they're going to waste while I sit here at home with these kids. And I don't know where we go from I can't wait to have children. They're a part of our dream and our destiny and our vision as a family to wait a minute, I hate this. You get to go out, you say to your spouse, and you get to be gone all day long, and I'm here with this baby, and this baby's crying. And the truth, the truth of the matter is when I would get mad at your dad, one of the things I would get the maddest about towards him about was when he would be at the office working and he would be, you know, counseling someone or dealing with the situation, and he would promise me he'd be home at six o'clock. So I would make sure the day went really well and I'd have dinner ready at six. And I would get so mad, so mad that he would not get in till 6:30. He'd call me sometime seven. And I all I could fixate over was the food being cold and you don't appreciate me and you don't understand what I do. I worked hard to make this perfect scenario, and you just you you just didn't even care because now the food is cold and I have to heat yours up in the microwave. And I would literally lose my marbles over that stuff. Yeah. Um, and the the thing is, there's not really an answer for that. Yeah. That is what it is. I realized quickly moving through that season that Steve, my husband, was not equipped, like most men, to fill that gap for me. Yeah. I can remember thinking, if he was here, what would he do? Yeah, he would just be. If he came home, what would he do? I mean, there's that that just now two of us in the same bogged down situation. Yeah. So really, the end of it all, when you when I look back over my life, if I could do anything different, I would have set my expectations to be different.

SPEAKER_03 7:19

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 7:19

But this is just a season and there's things that I could do in that season to make it more fun.

SPEAKER_03 7:24

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 7:25

Um, I don't want to get ahead of myself in that.

SPEAKER_03 7:27

I know, but the expectations is we'll keep going back to that. Yes. And I think that's going to be a repetitive word for this whole thing because I don't even have kids yet. Like we're about to, but it was like the first thing in my in the first month of marriage, we ran into, oh my gosh, our expectations are so different for each other. Right. And it's not, it's not personality because then the season changes on you, and you were once the the more spontaneous, hey, it's okay if we're out till nine, ten o'clock, who cares? And then one year changes, and now you're like, hey, why aren't we home by five, six o'clock? I just repaired all this. So personalities don't have to play. It's all expectation.

SPEAKER_02 8:10

Expectation. It's what I thought it was gonna be.

SPEAKER_03 8:12

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 8:13

Not what it is. It's what I thought, and when what I thought it was gonna be and what it actually is, have to meet in the hallway.

SPEAKER_03 8:19

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 8:20

That's when you go, okay, wait a second. We need to reverse course or at least sit down and have a conversation.

SPEAKER_03 8:26

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 8:26

About how to move forward with our expectations. And you know, the sad thing is that's how divorce happens.

SPEAKER_03 8:32

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 8:33

Because you don't have a conversation about what you thought this was gonna be. I thought it was gonna be this. Well, I thought it was gonna be that. All right, well, let's sit down and love each other enough and respect one another enough to kind of readjust in the middle of this game. Yeah. And say, okay, well, what are our realistic expectations for both of us?

SPEAKER_03 8:51

And a question for you there. Um, one thing that

Communicating with Your Spouse Effectively

SPEAKER_03 8:55

I've certainly had to try to grapple with is there's all everybody says, well, do what works for you and your spouse. Do what works for you and your husband. You just you need to sit down and you need to compromise. But then I've met some couples and they'll do what works for them, but I'm like, they're gonna hate that a year from now. That's not right. I don't think that they're gonna like that dynamic that works for them right now. So when you are having that heart-to-heart with your spouse, um, how do you come to this middle place of this works for us, but we also know that this is the right thing to do? Right. You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_02 9:32

Oh, for sure. Because you both feel at peace about it.

SPEAKER_03 9:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 9:34

And the one thing that women can't do, and I'm gonna speak to all the wives out there, especially when you're young, is to be martyrs. Well, especially if you're married to somebody that's really strong and driven, don't be a martyr. Be honest. Be loving, be kind, be respectful, be honoring to your spouse, but be honest. This is another thing I wish I could go back and do. I wish I had trusted dad more with my feelings and my honesty. But I think in my that season, I was still protecting myself because you, you know, young, married, starting to have children, you kind of protect yourself. You you also will answer based on what's expected of you versus what you're really feeling. And it's okay to say it wrong. Yeah. It's okay to sound selfish in the moment, hear yourself say it and go, okay, well, that's not right. Because you're you're building this life not only to have children and have a house, you know, the couple's dream should not be that one day we're gonna have a big house and all of our debts are paid. That's not a vision for your home. That's part of the vision, but the vision should be that we have harmony, that we understand one another, that we're supporting one another. I know that sounds like uh fantasy land, but the truth is when two people are submitted to the vision of the home with time, you're going to reach that place we've accomplished what we set out because we followed the rules we set in place. Sometimes in the middle of seasons, you you re renegotiate some terms. Yeah. You know? And and that's okay because you're gonna stay together forever. You never ever ever ever compromise and say that divorce is an option, splitting up's an option. Take that off the table. It's not an option. And if it's not, then what are you gonna do to work this out to have harmony?

SPEAKER_03 11:18

Yeah, I love that because I in the last 10 months I've been married, 11 months, I've been really trying to find a rhyme for happy husband, happy something, like how happy wife, happy life. Right. There's nothing that rhymes with husband, but I'm gonna get there because I've been trying to find it, because that's a truth as well. It's true. If you can make if both of you, if both of each other can really reach this place of peace, knowing you're doing it right, but also you're like helping each other out and satisfying each other's scheduling needs like that.

SPEAKER_02 11:50

Well, is it is it inappropriate for me to say it's super simple? Doesn't have to rhyme. Sex, happy husband. But it's true, mom. You know, it's true. Don't talk about that. I don't care. That's true. Happy wife, happy life. Sex, happy husband, sex, happy husband. I think that that does not have to rhyme. I'm turning your head. Can you turn the AC on again? That's because you're pregnant and I'm having a hot flash. That's something that is that's absolutely right. Just ask the men in the booth, they'll tell you. It's true. Thumbs up. So easy. That is so funny.

SPEAKER_04 12:25

Okay, okay, so I wouldn't believe you were immaculately conceived.

SPEAKER_02 12:29

What? What? Guys, I'm a virgin. Oh my God. All right.

SPEAKER_03 12:38

Your dad's not here. It's okay. Okay, so next question to get over that really awkward topic. Um, I have, oh, this one I really like. How do you honor

How to Appreciate Your Unique Roles

SPEAKER_03 12:50

and appreciate the gift in your spouse and the dreams that they have, but also just ask them to sacrifice a little bit for the family.

SPEAKER_02 12:58

Right. Well, I think that is the picture of when men and women don't understand each other. There's books when men are, you know, men are from Mars, women are from Venus, and there's truth in that we do speak completely different languages. We have completely different expectations. And 99.9% of the time, women's expectations are way higher than men's in marriage. Men's are very simple. Food, clean, intimacy. And intimacy. Yeah. That I mean, it's not hard. No, it isn't. It's not difficult for them. With us, we're still figuring what ourselves, we're we'll start figuring ourselves out. What are we gonna do? How are we gonna feel? And because we're so feeler-minded, we're everything's just more complicated. And with a guy, it's just not. I remember when I was married about 10 years, I can remember thinking, I wish I had more of a man brain. I know. Because then I could just settle down and not be so frustrated because that's a blessing to not have all this other stuff going on in your head, you know, that of how it's supposed to be. I'm so glad I did not live in the area of Pinterest and Pinterest boards and perfect houses. And I all our furniture was given to us from people in the church for the first 15 years of our marriage. Nothing matched. I didn't care. Yeah. But now the pressure is so much greater to have this perfect house and this perfect setting and the perfect plant and the perfect Pinterest board house when you walk in. And that's not realistic.

SPEAKER_03 14:22

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 14:22

But what is important to note is that you have a job and he has a job. And I I believe that women are called to fulfill great things just like men.

SPEAKER_03 14:33

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 14:34

Women are also called to raise a household.

SPEAKER_03 14:37

Yes.

SPEAKER_02 14:38

That is the greatest thing you'll ever do. And if women don't understand it's over so quickly, you need to know that right now. It's over so fast. But to honor him is to understand really what's driving him.

SPEAKER_03 14:50

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 14:51

And just him working late doesn't mean he's trying to escape and not does not want to go home unless you create an environment he doesn't want to come home to. Yeah. So you want to make sure you're, if if you are that woman who you're at home and you've got the kids because financially that's the best thing to do, then let's always put it in the right frame of mind that if your husband's in his 30s, in his young 40s, he's out there trying to bring home the bacon. He's trying to support. Thank God he's working. Thank God. Thank you. Jesus, you have a husband that has a job that wants more. He's not wired to feel guilty about you being home tired of the kids. He's not why he's just not wired like that. Yeah. He's not wired to feel guilty that you haven't seen your mom. Yeah. He just doesn't get that. No. So to honor him, you have to have honest, open conversations without blame or without casting guilt. Like you should know this already. And that's one thing when you're young and a woman, you just have this mentality. Like you have to be smarter than that, husband. You have to know that. How do you not know? And then you're easy. Then you're being very condescending, very dishonoring. If you'll just be set free by this, they're not wired like that. Yeah. And it'll set you free and it'll set him free. Yeah. He's out there, he's got his head down, he's working, and he thinks I'm doing such a good job because I'm providing for my sweet little wife and our three kids back at home.

SPEAKER_03 16:21

Yeah.

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And then he comes home and you're mad.

SPEAKER_03 16:24

Yeah.

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And he does not know why.

SPEAKER_03 16:26

Yeah. You know, one of the things I'm grateful for is that I was raised with a brother because it's always made me think, well, just look at what he has to deal with. That's right. Just look at the other side. Because maybe, no, they're not wired to think about coming home at a certain time. And we have a birthday this Saturday. How did you not think about the birthday? And we need to get a gift for your mom because it's your mom's parents' anniversary. Maybe they're not wired to think that way. But if you were to switch the roles, we're not wired to think about providing. If I get a $500 check in the mail, I'm like, I can get a the dress that I've been wanting to buy for weeks now, the new cutlery set that I've been wanting to get for the kitchen. Yes. And maybe, maybe we can put a deposit down for a new couch or whatever it is. That's literally what we're thinking about. Absolutely. And for them, they're thinking savings, savings and mortgages and a car. Right. So put you in. That's right. And like you have to be grateful that you aren't that he's not wired that way.

SPEAKER_04 17:26

Right.

SPEAKER_03 17:27

Because then there would be a whole other side of your marriage that's completely that's lacking. That's right. Because he's thinking more like a woman, and you just wouldn't want that in the first place. No. And you did tell me a couple months ago that you wish you would have gone back and seen that that season of serving your husband as a gift. That it's it's an honor and a privilege to actually serve your family and to serve your household and serve your husband. And I don't know, when you showed me, when you told me that you wish you had changed, that it really left a mark on me because I just realized I don't want to miss this season. I don't want to miss this opportunity that I have to serve my husband. And the more I've just dived into let me come home and prioritize making a dinner and let me just prioritize organizing the kitchen sink or whatever it is, it's really made me happy because I see the pressures off him. That's right. And it really brings harmony to the home and it brings pride to me. Like, look at what I did for my house. Look at what I did for my family.

SPEAKER_02 18:30

And because you're doing it for the household. Yeah. If you think you're just doing that to get his attention and you're doing it for him, you're gonna miss the mark. Because he's gonna walk in and be busy and be thinking about something because he wants to get outside and work in the garage and he didn't see that you cleaned up that sink. And now you're mad because he didn't see it. And you, you know, yesterday you were mad at me. Now I did it and you're mad, you didn't even say anything. If it really mattered to you, why wouldn't you call it out? And then you get caught up in these ridiculous arguments. When the truth is, you asked me in the beginning when you make decisions because they're right versus what the expectations are. Just clean the kitchen because it's right. Do it for you.

SPEAKER_03 19:05

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 19:05

Don't do it for him. Yeah. Go organize the closet because it's right. It's you're taking care of the household. Yes. You're Proverbs 31 woman.

SPEAKER_03 19:14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 19:14

You're this is your job. Because listen, it's over so fast. And you know what's hard? When you've developed all these skills as a mom and you can do things that you never could do before, and then you don't need to do them anymore. Do anymore. All these beautiful skills. Oh, I could cry. I know. Because that's why grandmothers say, give me your baby. Because we have all these unmet needs of these skills of things that we've developed and we're good at, and we don't get to use them anymore.

SPEAKER_03 19:40

It's so true. So feel bad for me. But you're on vacations once a month with your husband while all of us are out. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. So then um, now I do want to get into this. How much time do we have left legs? Let me see. We have oh, we have got we got time. We have two. Okay, good. So now we're talking about how when the husband is driven and they're achieving their dreams, but the season

When Moms Have Career Goals

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did change for you when we got older. I remember you wanted to start putting out albums and you went on that 10-day trip to Jamaica.

SPEAKER_04 20:10

Yes.

SPEAKER_03 20:10

And we missed you, and you came home and we had we held up that huge sign, Welcome Home Mom.

SPEAKER_01 20:15

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 20:15

You went with John and Jackie, and you were you were really, really pushing it because you had a drive for yourself. You had a dream for yourself. That's right. Um, and I've always been curious how you did that with our dad, because he's nonstop. Right. So, how did you like my question is when you had your driven season, what was it like with a driven husband? Yeah, yeah, what was that like?

SPEAKER_02 20:38

Well, it I want to say that it was not easy, but it was doable because we had an agreement. And first of all, Steve Lessie is not a petty person. He is not a jealous person.

SPEAKER_03 20:51

Nope.

SPEAKER_02 20:51

And he trusted me. But also, men are different with women being the breadwinner than we think they are. Because what I realized was it made sense in a man's brain at that season because you were a little bit older, you were still small, but you're a little bit older. And we were in a place financially where we could see that this would benefit the vision of the household. Yeah. So we negotiated the terms. What would it look like? And John and Jackie will tell you, because they were there for the whole process. We said no a lot too. Yeah. And that was not because dad was controlling, but we just really looked at what was feasible, what made sense, and not just what fed my need to get out there and be you know fulfill a dream, filling my dream tank up, you know. And we didn't have this. I hear this all the time. Well, I'm working for him right now till he gets, and then it's gonna be me, my turn. Well, that ain't gonna work over the long haul because it's never gonna be anybody's turn. Yeah. Yeah. That's a that's a misnomer to start thinking that. So for us, when when dad got excited about it and I couldn't see how it will work, you've got the kids and he's OCD and he Things can under control. He said, let's just get some help. And we had a little bit of help, um, which was wonderful. But you got, like I said, y'all were a little older, so you were more manageable for him. Yeah, we 10, 11, 12. You didn't have any toddlers at home. No. So we didn't do it where it put pressure. And because we honored God during the season of when you were small and we waited for the good season, I just believed God doubly blessed it. Yes. And then for 10 years, I was on the road. You guys were growing through that process. I remember feeling guilty when I would be away. Not guilty. I never felt guilty. I would feel like I was missing out. Yeah. Because I would leave and that would be the night dad would take you guys to dinner and the movies. And he would make the season that I was gone for those three nights, and then I'd be back for two, and then I'd be gone for one. He made it fun and memorable versus, well, oh my God, mom's gone again. Because then you would have resented my being gone. Yes. So there's a that's a lot to unpack.

SPEAKER_03 23:00

But you know, I'll say it like this. Um I think that us younger married people, we look at a couple at uh year 15 and we think, okay, listen, we only have to be really strict about our schedule now, and we have to be super present for each other now and our kids until we reach year 10, then we can let go of that. Right. And we see it as standards to lower. Yeah, that's good. I think you guys have you saw it as like treasures that unlocked. That's right. It's like we made it to year 15. I trust you to go for three days. I'll take care of the kids and then come back for one night. We'll be together, but go. And you you see a joy in your spouse working hard and help just contributing to the family. It's not like a we're no longer abiding by that rule. It's like, no, we've we've we're experts at that rule. We've just unlocked a whole new treasure now where we're able to do more things and it's adding to our life rather than taking away from what we're doing.

SPEAKER_02 24:06

Does that make sense? 100%. And the thing that that resonates in my mind right now is that it's it's deposit and withdrawal. You don't have a right to take a withdrawal in your marriage if there has not been the right deposits made. So as you get married and start having children, you start thinking, instead of, well, he just needs to understand me. He just needs to come to the table with a with a whole lot more compassion and understanding of where I'm at. I'm the one having these kids. He doesn't have to go through that. And all those things are true. But it's not gonna move the needle.

SPEAKER_03 24:37

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 24:38

Because he's gonna go, and I don't understand. Because he's not wired. And the same way for us, if he comes home and starts down that, but I do this and I do that, and you don't even see half I do, and the pressure, and you start arguing your positions, and you're going, Well, and I'm here with you know, I've got throw up all over me. What's your point? And in his mind, he's going, but what you're doing is easy. And in your mind, you're going, Yeah, but you get to escape from all this. And the truth is it's hard for both of you.

SPEAKER_03 25:10

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 25:11

So when you honor and respect that, you have your job, he has his. But I would say this make what you're doing at home your job.

SPEAKER_03 25:18

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 25:19

Your children are your career.

SPEAKER_03 25:20

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 25:21

I I started, I wrote a little song and I just remembered it right before we started this podcast.

SPEAKER_03 25:25

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 25:25

It's just a cute little song. Let me see if I can remember it because I wrote it down here. I'm gonna try to just sing it.

SPEAKER_01 25:30

But it's uh, I'll be faithful with the little, taking special care of what you've given me to handle. That's cute. I'll be generous and loving, knowing that you want for me to be faithful with the little.

SPEAKER_02 25:47

And it's just you're welcome. The roar of the crowd. No, the the truth is it just goes back to that. Be faithful with the little with the little. Yeah. Be faithful in that season because it'll

What I Would Have Done Differently as a Young Mom

SPEAKER_02 26:00

be over. And then your husband's looking at you going, Why don't you get out of here and go get a job? You know, and you're like, but my house is my job. No, we need you to help. It's so true. And then the other overflow of guilt because you're leaving the kids and the kids need me. I mean, it with us as women, sometimes if we don't get it in our minds and get it right, it will always be something. Yes. That we're upset about.

SPEAKER_03 26:22

Yes.

SPEAKER_02 26:22

And we just can't be those people. We have to, we have to know that in this relationship with our spouse, there's equal deposits and there's equal withdrawals, but you don't get to take a withdrawal out and expect something from your spouse. This goes both ways.

SPEAKER_03 26:35

Yes.

SPEAKER_02 26:35

Without a season of healthy deposit.

SPEAKER_03 26:38

Yeah. So then if you can go back and change one thing. Um, in the hardest, in the season where you were not doing good and you were really, really ticked off or frustrated at the whole season, what would you change? Um, what mindset would you change? Whatever it is.

SPEAKER_02 26:53

I think I if I could go back and be the mom that I am today and the wife that I am today, I would have enjoyed the season so much more because I would have understood how short it was. Man, I know. That it's over so fast that if I spend half of it mad and I I see my children as a burden and not a blessing, then that's a tr that's a problem. I'm gonna regret it. And I would have asked for help. Yeah. I would have said to my friends, hey, let's all get creative. I love that. So, how about we do this? Let's spit our split our family girl time, and the three of us are gonna go to the spa, and the other three are gonna watch the kids for the day. I've earned it, my husband said I can, I've worked for it, you know, I I have the money, whatever it is. And then you just switch off with your friends to help each other. Because it's the thing about women, we may be complicated, but it really doesn't take a whole lot for us to get our equilibrium back and be like, I'm good. Yeah, I'm back. That's all I needed. Yes, one day of crying and it's facial. Whatever. I mean, we used to go. I remember when Maury and I and a few of our friends all had kids at the same time. We would just go to McDonald's and let the kids play in the playplace. Man. And just doing that and talking and doing our Bible study. Oh, that's our timer. See, we're women, we have to have a timer. That scared me. It scared me too. It's time. It's time because time time. Oh, yeah. Can we get them to sponsor us? Yes. Just French fries, let's work on that. Let's work on that.

SPEAKER_03 28:23

We can talk.

SPEAKER_02 28:24

No, but that the just be creative. Yeah. Instead of angry all the time and frustrated. You are not stuck. You are not stuck. Okay? You are not. Ask for help. And you know, I I just really believe that when you get the right mindset here about it, then everything changes. It's perspective and it's expectation, Stephanie. I'm just telling you, it is.

SPEAKER_03 28:44

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 28:45

I love that. Well, thank you, mom. We might need to do a second edition because

Final Reflections

SPEAKER_02 28:50

I think this is gonna be a good idea. And definitely a lot of moms, and they're gonna want to have a lot of questions for you guys. Well, thank you for watching this episode of our Family Business Podcast with the Alesssies. We hope that you have enjoyed it. Yes. Keep tuning in, make sure you're sharing this on Facebook, write a review. We really need your reviews, and have a great day.

SPEAKER_00 29:10

You've just enjoyed another episode of the Family Business Podcast with the Alesssies, and we can't thank you enough for being a part of our podience today. Now that you've learned more about us, here's how you can join in in the family business. First, make sure you're following our podcast right now and download this episode so you can hear it at any time. Second, think of someone you know that might need or enjoy this episode and share it with them. You'll be helping them and helping us to spread the word about the family business. Third, go to AlesiFamily Business.com and tap the Ask the Alessie's button. This is really cool. You can use it to record a voicemail comment or question, and we can add your voice to our conversations. Finally, while you're on our page, tap the reviews tab and you'll see a link to leave a review on Apple Podcasts. We love reading your reviews and we might even share them on the show. Thanks again for joining us, and we'll see you next time at the Family Business with the Alesssies because family is everybody's business.