Twin Talk: Why Wise Women Need To Share Their Stories w/ Mary Alessi and Martha Munizzi | S5 E19

Mary Alessi: Well, hi there, and welcome to another episode of The Family Business with the Alessis, where we love to talk about stuff we can't always talk about on Sundays. But today I have a special guest, a very special guest. A mini me.

Martha Munizzi: I like to say, ah, another 20 me.

Mary Alessi: Another meme. I am in the podcast booth with my twin sister, Martha Munizzi. Um, it is so cool to have you here. She's been here now for 24 hours, and we have talked ourselves almost to death.

Martha Munizzi: Yes. Um, we still have a lot to say.

Mary Alessi: Oh, my God, we'll do this instead. We can't stop talking. And so, uh, Steve said, Good, keep talking.

Martha Munizzi: Go in the booth and record some podcasts.

Mary Alessi: So this is what we do best.

Martha Munizzi: I love it.

Mary Alessi: We talk.

Martha Munizzi: Yeah.

Mary Alessi: We don't need microphones. Sometimes we wish we'd had a microphone. Sometimes we're glad we did not have a microphone.

Martha Munizzi: Exactly.

Mary Alessi: But, uh, we were talking about podcasts in general and how long they are just a minute ago getting ready for this, and how people will listen three and 4 hours of their life to podcasts. And that they're subjects that are never resolved. Right. They don't ever resolve the conflict.

Martha Munizzi: And I think that's the frustration of the world we live in is people want to just talk about the problem, but what are the solutions?

Martha Munizzi: Exactly.

Martha Munizzi: We don't want solutions. So hopefully, we'll have a few solutions.

Mary Alessi: That's why we got in this booth. We have the answers. All of them.

Martha Munizzi: High five! We do.

Mary Alessi: Because first of all, we are 55. We turn 55.

Martha Munizzi: You are Now, I am sorry, but you are we are both 55.

Mary Alessi: Yeah.

Martha Munizzi: And, uh, we love being in our has been the best decade ever.

Mary Alessi: The best ever.

Martha Munizzi: The number is a little takes our breath away a little bit. But the way that I feel, except for just a few aches and pains let's be real a lot of aches and pain that we didn't do anything to earn. There's no just jumping out of bed in the morning if this judge a little bit. But other than that, just what you feel that the world has taught you, experience has taught you. I said, uh, on Mother's Day, I was telling some people, I was like, if you have not raised teenagers, I'm sorry, I love you, but you ain't got nothing to tell me. I ain't listening to no truth. You don't have nothing to say. Uh, and maybe that's a little strong, but at the same time, it's like there's muscles that are developed 100%. There's empathy, there's truth, there's principles that you just can't get any other way. Doesn't mean you can't have a great life. I'm not saying that. I'm just saying there are just some.

Mary Alessi: Things there's some things we understand yes. That, uh, they have yet to understand about human behavior. Oh, my gosh.

Martha Munizzi: And what will work and what won't work?

Mary Alessi: Well, if you raise, you have raised 3 16  year olds. Think of that.

Martha Munizzi: 3 13  year olds, three two year olds.

Mary Alessi: I had four of them. M I know.

Martha Munizzi: Four times.

Mary Alessi: I know.

Martha Munizzi: And it's so funny when you meet people that have just had their first baby and they almost act like no one has ever had a baby ever. I am the first.

Mary Alessi: I know.

Martha Munizzi: And then they share it with the difficulties that they're going through. I'm like, oh, yeah, that's kind of how it is. And they look at you and like it is.

Mary Alessi: I know.

Martha Munizzi: I thought I was the only one like, no baby, here's what's coming next.

Mary Alessi: So it's funny you say that because Stephanie has Gianna  her first. She's pregnant with her second. Chris and Rochelle are about to have Marino,  their first little baby boy.

Martha Munizzi: I know.

Mary Alessi: And so I get a text the other night. It was so cute. And she goes, Mom, I don't know what to do because I'm trying to sleep train her and she won't stay in her crib. She stays there for like 3 hours.

Martha Munizzi: And she wakes up and she wants.

Mary Alessi: To be with me and Chris. And I said, okay, well, are you letting her cry?

Martha Munizzi: Yes.

Mary Alessi: I said, well, how long have you let her cry? 30 minutes. Okay.

Martha Munizzi: First of all, I don't believe in sleep training.

Mary Alessi: Our lifestyle does not conduct I don't think kids should run around the house at 11:00 at night. No, I think you have a family. That's a whole nother podcast. I'm not getting into that.

Martha Munizzi: Right.

Mary Alessi: The point of it is, unless you're really ready to sleep train, you're going to have to let that baby cry for an hour.

Martha Munizzi: That's right.

Mary Alessi: And it's going to hurt. It is, uh, it's painful.

Martha Munizzi: Uh, but it's funny.

Mary Alessi: She's thinking something's broke. I'm not doing it right. We've all been there.

Martha Munizzi: Wouldn't it be great if you just had everything that you thought would work? Just work. It doesn't.

Mary Alessi: I know.

Martha Munizzi: And I remember even like with my oldest daughter, she was like that. So I'm imagining with you and your children now that they're calling you saying, I can't get my kid to cooperate. There's almost a part of you that's like, good payback is beautiful. I want to help you, but I want you to sit in this for a minute. This is what you did to me. I know, but no, it's really true. Danielle was the kind that and she's going to kill me for talking about her. But too bad.

Mary Alessi: We're, um, 55. We can say what we want.

Martha Munizzi: That's how we started this whole conversation. Amen. We've paid and bought and we've earned and sacrificed for this moment of truth right here. And she wouldn't stay in her car seat. She wouldn't stay in, um, her bed.

Mary Alessi: Never.

Martha Munizzi: She wanted to be up and out. And I, uh, remember one time I put the lock on the other side of the door and, uh, then I realized I've basically caged my child, but that's how desperate I was. I know. So it's the way of the world, but you just have to walk through. This is what's making you into the person that you're going to be when you're 55. It's these struggles. It's these difficulties, and then overcoming them and realizing that you can overcome them and that you can that's right. Fight and win.

Mary Alessi: And that's the great part about being the age we're at as, uh, women, because women today, more than ever, young women, even women our age, are in need of answers. And we started this conversation by saying these podcasts that just roll on hour after hour with no resolution, it's like argument from every point of view.

Martha Munizzi: Okay, well, what's the answer, right?

Mary Alessi: And people are going to the civilization humanity is going to get tired of rolling the answer around. It's like, Stephanie wants to know, what should I do? And I want this to work. What do I do, mom? Am I doing this wrong? And so I call her and I said, hey, here's an answer. Try this. And it brought peace to them because I learned it through doing it several times.

Martha Munizzi: That's right.

Mary Alessi: Now, something that I think segues beautifully into. This is your life and where you have spent your whole life. Um, that is for the ministry, for the church. You've been a gospel award winning artist. You've won Doves you've won Stellars. You've won a Grammy, I think nominated. Nominated. Same thing.

Martha Munizzi: But you can say it. No, same thing.

Mary Alessi: You get nominated. That's a very big deal. So you've been in the gospel music industry for years. You and Danny, your husband, built one of the top five independent labels of all gospel music, and you've won so many different awards and acknowledgments and accolades. And finally, after how many years now, you finally wrote a book. Yes, you finally wrote a book.

Martha Munizzi: I know.

Mary Alessi: So talk about taking everything you've learned, and at this age, double grace. Age five.

Martha Munizzi: Oh, I like it.

Mary Alessi: You wrote a book called because of who you are. And I want to just set this up a little bit, because the book, Because Of Who You Are, is one of the greatest, uh, songs. It's the title of one of the greatest songs you wrote. And the world sings because of who you are. When I traveled on the road for about nine years and they thought I was you, most time I would just.

Martha Munizzi: Go with it because it would work with cell CDs.

Mary Alessi: But if I started to sing Because of Who You Are, I mean, the room would stop and everyone would sing. And it's one of those anthems that God gave you when you were the mom of little kids at home vacuuming your house. You didn't have a maid, you didn't have any money. You had little kids at home, and you were using the season you were in to call out to God and let him download songs. Now, I know people go, well, she's a songwriter, she's got that gift. Yes, you do. You are a genuine, true blue, 100% born songwriter. There's no doubt other people try. You are a writer from birth.

Martha Munizzi: Our dad was a great writer, as are you. An amazing guy.

Mary Alessi: But I haven't written quite the hits that you have. But when you think about entitling this book because of who you are, you wrote this song to God. But the book is based on all of your songs, and you've written chapters based on all of your songs. And what I love about that is every song has a story and has a life. Like, every person has a story.

Martha Munizzi: Right.

Mary Alessi: And you've gotten letters. I've gotten letters from people that say, that song saved my life.

Martha Munizzi: Yes, I was suicidal.

Mary Alessi: Um, we got a letter from a person that was a twin, remember? And one had severe, ah, cerebral palsy and was basically a shut in. You remember that letter?

Martha Munizzi: Years ago? I think so.

Mary Alessi: And they wrote it and said, um, how much it meant to them because they were identical twins, but one twin is normal, and she wasn't. And she basically lived in her room and couldn't get out. And this song Always welcome, that we recorded and wrote together. Let her know she was always welcome.

Martha Munizzi: Every song wow.

Mary Alessi: Has a story.

Martha Munizzi: Yeah, that's true.

Mary Alessi: And they're powerful.

Martha Munizzi: And no, I did not know that story. That would have been great to put in this book.

Mary Alessi: My bad. Next book.

Martha Munizzi: Next book, volume two.

Mary Alessi: But I want us to let, for those who are watching this, kind of see the graphic and see the book, because it's gorgeous. It's red, you're on it in the COVID You look just like me.

Martha Munizzi: I know.

Mary Alessi: I don't know. The makeup artist did a great job making you look like me. And, uh, you look phenomenal.

Martha Munizzi: Thank you.

Mary Alessi: And it just came out for Mother's Day. It's available now.

Martha Munizzi: And this is a book that it's been in my heart I hate to say how long, probably 15 years. We've had this idea, I think my husband I've given him credit for coming up with it. Um, and he's really pushed me over the years, like, don't forget that story, and make sure you remember that story. And I just feel like stories are just so powerful. They are. I mean, I love hearing people preach and I love stats. I do like figures and statistics and I love debates. But when somebody just stops telling the facts, the stats, and they just start telling a story, oh, it's everything. It's like all of a sudden, you just settle in. And now you've got my attention.

Mary Alessi: Your brain is wired for stories. Yes, absolutely.

Martha Munizzi: They really are. I can remember I put myself in the description, what you're saying of a story as it's being told I see myself, I learn something from it. It challenges me. I might laugh. It gives me something to talk about with somebody else or when it's about a song. Now, I love the song more, right.

Mary Alessi: Because it has a story behind it.

Martha Munizzi: But when I'm writing it, when it starts with an idea, it sounds so good in your head.

Mary Alessi: Right.

Martha Munizzi: Then when you start writing it, you're like, okay, nobody is going to care. I mean, people love the songs. The actual opposite happens in your head.

Mary Alessi: You think people don't care about the story and how it was born?

Martha Munizzi: Do you think as you're writing it?

Mary Alessi: Oh, yeah. It's just not conducive to the song.

Martha Munizzi: Because I lived it. I don't see how, but I have taught when I've preached or taught a message, I use stories and I see how it impacts the crowd. But this is my very first book, right. And so people say how what was it like writing book?

Mary Alessi: It was horrible. Yeah.

Martha Munizzi: Because I had to go I had to go through so many different phases of writing.

Mary Alessi: First of all, I procrastinated. Yeah.

Martha Munizzi: So now I'm dealing with, you are so lazy, you're procrastinated, you don't finish. I mean, all the things in my head and uh, then it's like you have to kind of push and emerge like out of a cocoon past all of those old and those thoughts and feelings about yourself. It would be so easy just to stay in songwriting mode because I know I got that, I know I'm good at that. People sit in the room and go, oh, what great idea do you have? And I can just write a verse and walk out and it doesn't this was such a challenge because I had to overcome so many limiting thoughts that I thought I had dealt with.

Mary Alessi: Uh, it just resurfaced them all.

Martha Munizzi: It just comes back. Uh, and I'm not saying I won't have to face that again the more that I write, but I learned again, like, we talked about raising children, raising toddlers, the more you do what's in your heart. You're stretching, you're growing, you're being challenged. M. Your flesh is screaming, go back to what's easy. Exactly. Go back to what's comfortable.

Mary Alessi: And it's when the story behind the music. This isn't like hi everybody. It is Mary Alessi and I am popping in here today just to let you know. Steve's book 42 is out. It's available on Amazon. You can click the link in the description and find everything you need to know about it. But I promise you, if you get this book, you will want to share it with everyone you know that might be going through a difficult time that got knocked down and they're having a hard time getting back up. So make sure you get it. 42, it's available today. And hey, do us a favor, leave us a review. When you read that book, it's a quick read, you're going to get through it very quickly because it is so well written and you're going to love all the stories that are in there, so make sure you get it. 42, Steve Alessi. Thanks, guys. Uh, what's her name? Sheryl  Crow.

Martha Munizzi: Okay.

Mary Alessi: She had a documentary telling the stories behind the music, right? And they were stories like, oh, we went in the studio and I didn't.

Martha Munizzi: Have anybody that day.

Mary Alessi: And then James showed up and he came in and we couldn't believe it. We saw Jam and writing this song, who cares? But it's interesting and we all watch it, but there's nothing that is, uh, soul stirring.

Martha Munizzi: Right.

Mary Alessi: Whereas this particular book, the story behind my music is it's where you were, who you were.

Martha Munizzi: And there's a story in there that, um, I never tell. I never tell the story about when I had spinal meningitis as a baby.

Mary Alessi: People don't know it.

Martha Munizzi: People don't know it. And I shared it. Y'all, this is so crazy. This is not the book. But I shared it at our church, right? Like about a month before this came out. And I just felt led one day it wasn't even in my notes to share. I said, I just feel like I need to share this story and I shared it about having spinal meningitis as a one year old. And God just gave me my mom was in the audience and God just helped me tell the story and it was just anointed it was powerful, like, it was so empowering and I was inspired by it, like wow. Usually you just say, oh, yeah. When I was a baby, I had this disease, and they prayed and I healed. But to tell it with detail and in the audience in our church that day was a lady that I had met just in a store a few days before and invited to church. And she was a neurosurgeon. Um wow.

Mary Alessi: On children, right?

Martha Munizzi: On children, yes. And she said, you don't understand, that doesn't happen. Like, you don't get healed from that.

Mary Alessi: Wow.

Martha Munizzi: And one of her best friends had a baby who had it and is, uh, not just, um, paralyzed, but I mean, has more, uh, handicapped issues and had severe consequences, uh, from it. And she said, it is absolutely 100% a miracle. All these years. I know I've never shared the story and the day I tell it, there is a neurosurgeon sitting there confirming.

Martha Munizzi: That.

Mary Alessi: Happened to Steve when he released the book too, uh, off 42 about the heart attack. And that's why it's so important for you to write your book, because when it was all said and done, now you see why there's such a battle for it.

Martha Munizzi: Yes, because it was a battle for.

Mary Alessi: You from the beginning and that's why this book had to be written.

Martha Munizzi: And it's always, whether you know her.

Mary Alessi: Songs or not right.

Martha Munizzi: It's going to make you want to.

Mary Alessi: Go listen to them.

Martha Munizzi: Well, there's a story in there of our nana, our grandmother with an angelic visitation. Yes. You're talking about 70, 50, 60 years ago.

Martha Munizzi: Right.

Martha Munizzi: Before technology, before AI, before all this crazy stuff, before filters. Exactly. There's a lot in here, and I think people are going to be encouraged.

Mary Alessi: By well, they got to get it. It's incredible. It's very easy to read. I, uh, like that all my family members are writing books that are so.

Martha Munizzi: Easy to read because, uh, it will bless you.

Mary Alessi: You could use it as a journal if you wanted to, because it's just such a blessing.

Martha Munizzi: Well, there is a corresponding companion study guide coming out.

Mary Alessi: That's right. Somebody just recently, a young girl asked me about needing a journal. This will be not a journal, but a Bible study.

Martha Munizzi: Yeah.

Martha Munizzi: Because this is awesome. Not only is it just stories, but it's stories that even from scripture, there are scriptures in there. There are, um, even messages, little mini messages of encouragement that'll get you through your days. Like a devotional.

Mary Alessi: You talk about gratitude that way.

Martha Munizzi: How important it is to keep a grateful spirit.

Martha Munizzi: Yes.

Mary Alessi: It keeps you back on track. What I think is so timely is that you waited to write a book and you thought you were being disobedient, you were being lazy. But the truth is, it could not have come out at a better time.

Martha Munizzi: That's right.

Mary Alessi: Because we are fighting such a culture war. It's not a battle. It's an absolute onslaught in a war for women these days. Yes. So to have a beautiful cover with a gorgeous woman that's not a dancer. JLo uh huh. But you represent women in such a beautiful way, in the way the world kind of wants us to.

Martha Munizzi: Right.

Mary Alessi: We were just talking about how we thought it was creepy that Martha Stewart was on the COVID of, uh was it Vogue recently? This week?

Martha Munizzi: Yes, I think so.

Martha Munizzi: Okay.

Mary Alessi: And how creepy that was, because there's no filters on this picture of you.

Martha Munizzi: This is what you look like.

Mary Alessi: Maybe a light glow, little glow. No, but that's you that's you 100% with hair, and the most you have on is extensions and eyelashes. Thank God for extensions and eyelashes. And there's no shame in that because we want to look beautiful. We're not trying to look like the.

Martha Munizzi: Secular world, but it's up with the world.

Martha Munizzi: Yeah.

Martha Munizzi: We're just trying to make our lives a little easier. As you get older with your hair thin.

Mary Alessi: God, extensions are so much easier.

Martha Munizzi: Eyelashes.

Martha Munizzi: It's cheaper than Botox.

Mary Alessi: I know. But I would say the timeliness of it from the perspective of this world let's talk about America. But the world in general needs good role models. Moms who aren't aging out at 55 or getting sick. Women fight cancer every day. We have one young women in our church whose mother's in their they were sick and they passed away and they need motherly influences. But Steve keeps saying something to me. He keeps asking, and he's asking it in a room full of women. When are women are going to get tired of what's happening and the attack against women with this whole transgender, uh, thing? Uh, and so I asked him the other day, well, what do you want us to what are you thinking we should say? Because among ourselves, we speak out. How much do we need to be vocal? Right. And we were talking about that this morning over coffee.

Martha Munizzi: Mhm.

Mary Alessi: What do we say? When do we say it? How loud do we say it? Yeah. I can tell you. I'm going to go on record and say companies that are promoting, uh, uh, this lifestyle and making it easy for people to walk into it, I will not buy another thing from them.

Martha Munizzi: Right.

Mary Alessi: I am making a personal decision to say I won't fund a company that thinks this is okay. And you're not hiding it in the back of the store. You're putting it right next to the toy department.

Martha Munizzi: Right.

Mary Alessi: And that's right. That's real. We are not, um, hyperbole.

Martha Munizzi: We're not extreme.

Martha Munizzi: No.

Martha Munizzi: We are fighting for our children.

Mary Alessi: We are fighting for our kids.

Martha Munizzi: Yeah. Here's my thought, too, because I'm still I don't want to say I'm figuring it out, because I do believe we should speak out. I don't think that we should hold our voices. I don't think we should be intimidated. We should not be in fear. We can't shrink back. Right. But we also have to understand that our social media, there's a way to get that message out. I believe that has the most power, that has the most impact, and there's several ways to do it. For me, I think there's something so powerful about showing strong families. Just this podcast, your family, your church, your ministry, your children having children make. That the thing that people say. I want that. When you listen to the stories of these young men when they were little kids and their moms were working, most of them had single moms or they didn't have a dad that was home. And they say, I watched Madonna in the late eighty s. I saw her and I identified with her. Or I saw a model walk across the stage and I identified with her. And that identification is what changed them. And then they didn't have anybody to steer them and help them understand it. So they just felt good about wearing a dress and they felt good about wearing makeup because they identified with that. The power of identification is bigger than we think. And I'm not just for the sake of this podcast, of course, as you're writing and making your comments, I'm not simplifying at all. It is a way deeper than that. But that's where it starts, right? It starts with the eye gate. I saw something, I identified with it. I had to have it. I wanted to be that. That is what people tell all the time, the stories they tell. I saw my father working hard, and I want to be like my dad. I saw my mother. I want to be like my mother. That power of identification is what God gave us. Exactly. So that's where it has to start, making sure that our children understand who they need to identify with. And the stronger the families are, the better. Because it builds like this wall of fortification that you can't get through. Uh, I mean, we see through the because we lived it. We saw, uh, that kind of liberation that was happening through pop music. It's nothing now. It's innocent. Almost innocent now. When you see Madonna rolling around the.

Mary Alessi: Other day, I was listening, and she was like, Papa don't preach. Oh, okay.

Martha Munizzi: I'm keeping my baby.

Mary Alessi: Keeping my baby. That was a Madonna.

Martha Munizzi: That would be a pro life song.

Mary Alessi: I know.

Martha Munizzi: Exactly. But now we're in a generation of young women that are actually celebrating terminating their babies, and they're fighting for, um, the ability to have that choice. And then they even use language like forced birth. It's like, well, that baby's coming out.

Mary Alessi: I know.

Martha Munizzi: I don't know what you think. And the other side of it is I think we should jump to this part, too. I'm of the belief system that God can redeem and save any situation.

Martha Munizzi: Absolutely.

Martha Munizzi: And if we're not careful, we can empathize with people who are literally playing God.

Martha Munizzi: Yes.

Martha Munizzi: Do you want to be God in that situation? Well, a baby is just a clump of cells. Okay. Well, if there's any truth in that, you get to make the decision on whether that clump of cells become a baby or does not. Do you want to be the one that cuts that lineage off? I know it are you the one that's going to stand and say, i, as a young teenager, made that decision on my own? That's why we need strong mothers and fathers that are leading people in the right way. Because you'll make a decision that you'll never overcome.

Martha Munizzi: No.

Mary Alessi: And you know, Martha, the thing about Christianity don't get me started.

Martha Munizzi: Don't get me started.

Mary Alessi: Oh, no. It'd be a four hour pod. We might, uh, break and come back. But, uh, this whole subject of even Christian women that have had abortions and I want to go here for a minute, because we didn't say we're going to talk about abortion, but we are. I think we should. Okay. So I know women in my church for years, many that have had abortions.

Martha Munizzi: Okay.

Mary Alessi: Right. Um, they didn't know better at the time. It was their only option. It was their only option in their minds. Right. I know there's been young women whose moms have said, don't come home unless you get an abortion.

Martha Munizzi: Right.

Mary Alessi: Women that have said, I can't be yoked to this person. I wasn't raped, but this was a.

Martha Munizzi: Date gone wrong and now I'm pregnant.

Mary Alessi: I cannot be yoked to this person. I so understand that. Yeah. I feel their pain. That's such a difficult situation. And then to just say, well, there's other options. There's adoption, there's this, there's that. In the moment, that sounds so cruel.

Martha Munizzi: Yeah.

Mary Alessi: But what they don't realize at the young age is and when you don't have a mother or father to help you, or the right advocates to go, it's nine months of your life compared to the rest of your life. Yes. Wondering, worrying, thinking. They don't understand that. The rest of their life, they're going to be contemplating the decision they made in nine months. Not even in two months.

Martha Munizzi: Under pressure.

Mary Alessi: Walking into a Planned Parenthood, that puts you under pressure.

Martha Munizzi: I don't care what anybody says.

Mary Alessi: People that want to defend Planned Parenthood, you go ahead, knock yourself out. There's maybe parts to them that are good for women and they have helped women that don't have insurances. But the abortion side, let's talk about the abortion side.

Martha Munizzi: HM?

Mary Alessi: They are who they are. The proof is out. Uh, don't argue with me about it.

Martha Munizzi: It's a fact.

Martha Munizzi: Right.

Mary Alessi: They push you to have your abortions. The sooner you have your abortion, the better it is. If you wait, we can't get you in, the price goes up, which I understand. Now we have the abortion pill. Um, things are changing. It makes it easier for women to have their abortions all by themselves at home. If they think they're pregnant, they take this pill. They can make a call, get it right over the counter.

Martha Munizzi: Right.

Mary Alessi: The truth of the matter is, no matter how easy you make that, it is still a decision mhm that that girl has to make.

Martha Munizzi: Yes.

Mary Alessi: She needs to know what all her options are. That's all. Yeah, that's what I fight for. You need to know what your options are. But even the options are gaslit. Yes.

Martha Munizzi: Demonized.

Mary Alessi: That's the problem I have. So we take that same pattern. Not only abortion, right. But it is also in the LGTBQ community, uh, where if you have any disagreement or you want to tell your.

Martha Munizzi: Little, your 15 year old, maybe you.

Mary Alessi: Are identifying as somebody who's attracted to men or boys at school, but maybe there's other boys that are in the locker room. Your sexuality is just coming awake. Or maybe your girl identifies with being a tomboy.

Martha Munizzi: Yesterday she was a tomboy in our day.

Mary Alessi: Right. Today she's being pushed in. Friends are telling her you like girls. Yeah. And why can't she have options? Why are we the ones and psychology and counselors at school, their hands are tied. And it's, uh, getting worse now with the trans community that we can't give our children have a conversation about even options.

Martha Munizzi: Right. Okay.

Mary Alessi: This is a demonic agenda.

Martha Munizzi: Yes.

Martha Munizzi: I don't care what.

Mary Alessi: You say we're hearing people that aren't Christians use that same term.

Martha Munizzi: Exactly.

Mary Alessi: It's a demonic agenda, and it's been.

Martha Munizzi: Brewing, and it's been planned, and it's.

Mary Alessi: Been seeded, uh, over the decades.

Martha Munizzi: We didn't see it. Our mamas and daddy saw it, but.

Mary Alessi: It was hidden from us, but we didn't see it.

Martha Munizzi: We thought, oh, no, what is it that we kind of deflected and pushed away? 2030, 40 years ago, when our parents brought it up when we were younger, that actually was the seed that has grown the fruit that we're seeing now, because our parents felt, okay, that ain't right. It goes back to when you're this stage of your life, you see so much, you feel it, you sense it because of what you've walked through. What you see how a seed germinates, and then it becomes a full grown plant, uh, or fruit, whether you can eat it or not, whether there's thorns on it, where there's fruit on it. And you see that in life, but you see that in situations, uh, and people's decisions. You see so the people that are our age and older and even younger, but really our age and older are sounding the alarm.

Martha Munizzi: Right.

Martha Munizzi: But now we sound like the old folks that just, uh they don't get it. Oh, they don't get it. And I think it goes back to the principle of listening to the people that have been there, done it to me on the way. That's what's under attack, too. I know it's that idea of if someone's speaking any kind of authoritative truth that's anticulture, they have to be completely dismissed. They're dismissed. And then it's all about my worth, what I need, what's right for me. That's the root of a lot of this that I see, because I hear what you're saying, and, uh, I completely agree. We've got to have empathy for people that don't know this culture has told them things.

Mary Alessi: They've been lied to.

Martha Munizzi: They've been lied to. They're repeating statistics that aren't true, and they're deciding whether to get married or not based on a false statistic that had its roots in something that was a total deception to distort the culture.

Mary Alessi: And even protecting abortion rights along certain party lines, because everybody comes with their political, uh, persuasions. They're protecting abortion, and they're voting for the right of a woman to choose.

Martha Munizzi: Yeah.

Martha Munizzi: Then let her choose. Absolutely.

Mary Alessi: What other decision does she have to make?

Martha Munizzi: Uh, yeah.

Mary Alessi: Okay, so I'm going to all I care about I'm against abortion. I've heard Christians say this. I'm against abortion, but I'm not against a woman's right to choose.

Martha Munizzi: Okay.

Mary Alessi: So you can't be both.

Martha Munizzi: Yeah.

Mary Alessi: You're for abortion.

Martha Munizzi: Right.

Mary Alessi: And I'm sorry, I know that might get some feedback, but it's the truth, whether you're for it or not. Stand up and say, I think a woman has the right to enter pregnancy if she wants to.

Martha Munizzi: Okay.

Mary Alessi: At least that's honest.

Martha Munizzi: Everybody that feels that way should have to watch an abortion procedure.

Mary Alessi: Uh, I agree. You should watch it. I agree. And the thing is, when you are.

Martha Munizzi: Because they change their minds if they saw it happen.

Mary Alessi: Uh, most people do. Well, that's why abortion has changed, even in the standards and the values of America, why Roe v. Wade got overturned, because there were so many people on the streets saying, do you really think you're for that? But here's the thing. It's not a judgment for anybody that's gotten abortion, because, quite frankly, in our society, as many women um, I don't know the statistics exactly, but I do know a lot of women, Christian women, women who might not even feel that guilty about it, got abortions. And none of us are here to clobber them over the head and say, how could you murder I don't even like to use that term abortions, murder. I think in our position as pastors, we've got to be empathetic and considering of people that are still processing all of that. And when you do something that at the time you thought was the best thing for you, how do you flip that script and say, I murdered my baby? I think you just have to be.

Martha Munizzi: Um, filled with grace, like Jesus is.

Martha Munizzi: Yes.

Mary Alessi: You didn't know. Jesus said, Father, forgive them. They don't know what they were doing. So it's not about saying, oh, it's okay.

Martha Munizzi: You didn't know.

Mary Alessi: No, it's all right.

Martha Munizzi: Uh, no.

Martha Munizzi: And if they're already feeling shame over that, that's right. And then we add more shame on top of that.

Mary Alessi: Doesn't help anybody.

Martha Munizzi: The truth sometimes sounds like razor blades, feels like razor blades. But it's the truth that sets you free. That's why going back to what we were saying, uh, when Steve was saying, when are we going to step up? When are women we're still formulating the right way, because this world will take a sound bite, and it'll sound like anything they want it to sound like. They can create a narrative based on something that you say in an atmosphere that you've said it, and basically you're put on a shelf. You're marginalized because of the way you said it. So we have to go back to being wise as serpents, harmless as doves. We're in the wise. We're gaining wisdom.

Martha Munizzi: Right.

Martha Munizzi: How do we say it? When do we say it?

Martha Munizzi: Now.

Martha Munizzi: There are people that are bulldozers that just say it. Praise God. Good for you. I'm grateful. I love the people that say it. But where I'm at, you and I both, we're in the one on one. The children, the young people that go.

Mary Alessi: To our church and our youth, are we teaching them? Uh huh.

Martha Munizzi: Are we working with the people who are actually at risk for these things? Are we just getting up and just sounding the alarm? And we never had a conversation with a young teenager. We've never really talked to someone in the LGBT community, we've never had an encounter with someone to hear their heart again. I'm not saying that we empathize to the place where we don't speak truth.

Martha Munizzi: Right.

Martha Munizzi: But yet that's the wise and harmless part, that we understand what we're talking about, who we're talking to, and that we don't do more damage and are.

Mary Alessi: Trying to fix the problem. And I would add to that, because if you talk about abortion, if you talk about transgenderism, which we know, um, I don't understand why so why now all of a sudden, all these people want to be binary. They want to be gender fluid. They don't want to be what they are. And it's not associated with mental illness. I don't understand how people cannot connect.

Martha Munizzi: Okay.

Mary Alessi: You don't want to say mentally ill. How about emotionally unstable? Right? They're longing for something, and it's not who they are, it's who somebody else is. I'm, uh, not good in this skin. I've got to be in somebody else's skin. And I heard a general of the Naval something in Canada. I'm horrible with terms. But anyway, there was an amazing speech that he gave before Congress, and he made this statement. He said, when we in the military stops using terms like, this is stupid and this is dangerous, we are on a collision course to complete catastrophe. Um, and he talks about, um, one of the worst aviation crashes that had ever happened. And, like, 500 people were killed because there was fog that day. It was in Brazil, and the pilots were getting their cues from the tower. And no one said the two terms that they noticed. It's in their training, Martha. Um, it's in their training. And the reason why is because it wakes your brain up. Hey, this is stupid. M or this is dangerous. Like, legitimately. They use those terms to help wake people up that are in the foxhole, that aren't paying attention, that are making.

Martha Munizzi: Life and death decisions for other people.

Martha Munizzi: Right.

Mary Alessi: So he said, when we stop saying that as a civilization and nothing's dangerous.

Martha Munizzi: Yes.

Mary Alessi: And nothing's dangerous.

Martha Munizzi: Nothing's foolish.

Martha Munizzi: Yeah.

Mary Alessi: Well, to eat your own and we're on a collision course. And I was so struck by that because I thought what that basically says is, you can't say what you think anymore.

Martha Munizzi: Right.

Mary Alessi: I can't say, well, that's stupid. Why do you think that?

Martha Munizzi: But that's dangerous.

Martha Munizzi: Yeah.

Mary Alessi: We are silent.

Martha Munizzi: Yes.

Mary Alessi: And having to relearn how to speak to our children from a perspective that puts our kids not in line with us, in an alignment, but almost superior to us, that, uh, we're now going to create something in this child. They're poor little fragile brains. And we as parents we were reading a story yesterday about what's happening in Norway.

Martha Munizzi: I know.

Mary Alessi: Uh, they're taking kids from their parents.

Martha Munizzi: Yes.

Mary Alessi: And now they're coming in saying, you can't do this, because one of the leading child experts in Norway they found out that he had untold numbers of pornograph, child pornography, then they had the audacity to say that just because he watched pornography doesn't mean he's a pedophile.

Martha Munizzi: Right.

Martha Munizzi: Are you? I know.

Mary Alessi: Yes, it does. Yeah. He's watching what he's prone to. Why, then what are you watching it for?

Martha Munizzi: But that's where it's all headed to, where there's no outrage, there's no you can't say this is stupid or dangerous. And because who am I to judge?

Mary Alessi: And we've got to leave room for.

Martha Munizzi: People that haven't actually acted out on that. That's right. But they're feeding on it all the time. Well, what do you think is going to be the next step? And again, it's just interesting how you see that same cycle through. It never changed generations. But now we're honestly, I'm grateful for what the stage of my life to be in this generation now. Because our parents preached about something that.

Mary Alessi: They didn't really see.

Martha Munizzi: Right. They preached to something that was something futuristic, so that's they were crazy. We thought, uh, you all are being crazy. I mean, we're living in that.

Mary Alessi: We're living it.

Martha Munizzi: And I think that's why we have to be, um, more aware, more savvy in a lot of ways when we do speak. Speak with our wits about us, with knowledge, with understanding. This book took me a long time. It's like you said, and it's true. It's the timing of it. Had I done this earlier, it wouldn't have had the impact. I believe there's more season. It's like anything else. Seasoning lower. The longer you take to cook something, the better it tastes. And just the waiting on the timing of God.

Martha Munizzi: What?

Martha Munizzi: Seems like I missed a moment. Well, if I was supposed to do it, I would have done it, right?

Mary Alessi: It is perfect for the season we're.

Martha Munizzi: In is because stories really do impact people's lives. And again, they see themselves. And that's what I want to keep telling. Uh, after I wrote this book, I was just having a conversation with a friend of mine, and I started telling her another story. And I'm like, did I put that in the book? I need to put that in the book. I mean, there's still so many things that I feel like will help people. And again, it's the simple principles. What is it that saying that says big door swing on little hinges? That some of these simple principles, if you apply them to your life, will affect you in a small decision or a life changing decision. When, uh, you're face to face with abortion, when you're face to face with your identity, if you know the basic principles of life, like what you said earlier, basically, knowing who you are, being okay with who you are, knowing there's choices, being okay. It's okay to listen to your parents, right? It's okay to listen to people in authority.

Mary Alessi: It's okay to listen to both sides of the argument. Ah, you're smart enough to sit and listen to both sides. And then let's talk about the future. Now, my family, there's only one argument.

Martha Munizzi: You can listen. This is how we go. Have we coming back to this?

Mary Alessi: Well, we've gone over a little bit in this podcast. We did.

Martha Munizzi: I had a feeling.

Mary Alessi: I'm glad we did.

Martha Munizzi: I know.

Mary Alessi: Over a little bit, but it's okay because we'll, um, most likely find, uh, our way back into this room because.

Martha Munizzi: We'Re just getting warmed up.

Mary Alessi: We really just got our words together.

Martha Munizzi: We got a whole lot my coffee just kicked in. That's all I'm going to say. Well, I hope you guys have enjoyed this episode. I know I have.

Mary Alessi: It's great to talk to you. It always is. So do us a favor, uh, let everybody know the twins we're on. And, uh, I was going to say retweet. This shows you I don't understand all the language.

Martha Munizzi: Share, post, retweet MySpace, put it on MySpace.

Mary Alessi: No, delete that. No, I don't even care anymore. Just share with everybody this podcast because we know it's going to be a blessing. There's nothing like conversations that don't just.

Martha Munizzi: Talk in circles, right.

Mary Alessi: We're bringing you resolve because what we basically said in this room today is there are people that are down the line from you that can help you make decisions in your youth. Don't just listen to the world. Don't just listen to the secular media. Don't just listen to Hollywood, for God's sake, please turn off the the Hollywood yes. Microphone and trust us.

Martha Munizzi: Yeah.

Mary Alessi: You don't want to live with regret later on in your life. That's right. Um, I'll close with this quick story. I was watching a show recently called, um, the Jewish Matchmaker, which is so good.

Martha Munizzi: I want to watch that.

Mary Alessi: There's a 44 year old girl who basically she was cute, but she's 44. She ain't no girl anymore. But her house was loaded with pink, this mermaids, all these stuffed animals, and she's beautiful. And she's wondering why she can't get married. Well, she said it. I didn't want to. I wanted to live my life the way I wanted. And so in being indulgent to live her way in her twenty s and thirty s, now she sits at 44, weeping, saying, matchmaker, matchmaker, make me m a match. Find me a fine catch me a catch, uh, night after night and make.

Martha Munizzi: Me a perfect match.

Mary Alessi: And it's costing her thousands of dollars. If she had just listened, the longing she has today is most likely already passed.

Martha Munizzi: Wow.

Mary Alessi: And she had to hear that.

Martha Munizzi: That's painful.

Mary Alessi: She had to hear that because she wanted to live indulgently when she was young. And here she is. We could have told you, sister. We could have told you, Mary.

Martha Munizzi: And that's where we want. We don't hate you because we're telling you something you don't like to hear. I know you don't like to hear it. But nobody hates you. Just listen, please. Sit in with the truth. Just sit in with it.

Mary Alessi: Sit with it and just process it.

Martha Munizzi: Just listen to it. Don't hate me because I'm saying something that you don't want to hear. Just listen and please maybe there's truth in what could be could be that there's truth in what we're saying.

Martha Munizzi: Absolutely.

Mary Alessi: But you have choices. And now you're not sitting back going, man, I wish I would have listened.

Martha Munizzi: I don't want to live. I can't live like that.

Mary Alessi: Uh, I just can't do it.

Martha Munizzi: No.

Mary Alessi: So there you go. A few more minutes.

Martha Munizzi: We just had to go a little bit longer.

Mary Alessi: Share this Podcast thanks for joining us today.

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