New Grandparent Confessions: How to Confidently Transition from Parenting to Grandparenting | S6 E5

Mary Alessi:

Grandparents get the short end of the stick after about ten to twelve years. You know, your mom says that all the time, and it sounds so horrible when she says it. I'm like, please don't say that. But it's true. Welcome to another episode of The Family Business with the Alessi's. And I am here with my my wonderful husband, Steve Alessi, who likes to make noises and scare me just a little bit.

Steve Alessi:

Just a little bit.

Mary Alessi:

But where we get to talk about things we cannot talk about on Sundays. And we go a little deeper today, we're going to be talking about something that's very personal and brand new for you and me. The season of being grandparents.

Steve Alessi:

Yes, Mary.

Mary Alessi:

We are grandparents. I need to say that again over and over again to believe it. We're grandparents.

Steve Alessi:

Yes.

Mary Alessi:

It's awesome.

Steve Alessi:

Here at the Family Business with the Alessi's podcast, we talk about family because family is everybody's business, and where we get the most traction with our audience is right here. They love hearing about family. And we've been talking recently about seasons of life and the last time we were together, we talked about the season that we were in, that now we're taking care of our aging parents and what a blessing that is. But now we're talking about this season of being a grandparent. So let me ask you a question.

Mary Alessi:

Oh, Lord.

Steve Alessi:

What is your grandparent name?

Mary Alessi:

Mia. Which are my initials. Mary elaine. Alessi.

Steve Alessi:

Mia. So it's meamea. Has Gianna picked up Mia yet?

Mary Alessi:

No. She says me. Yeah, but she also said Mimi the other day. Mimi, which that I'll take.

Steve Alessi:

Yeah.

Mary Alessi:

And your grandparent name?

Steve Alessi:

Papa. Papa.

Mary Alessi:

And she says that beautifully and constantly. If she sees me, she says, where's Papa?

Steve Alessi:

Okay, so Mia came from your initials. Papa came from my papa, my father, and my father's father was Papa. So I really thought, I'd like to go with Pops. Maybe as they get older, they can call me Pops. I think that's cute. I like that. And the grayer the hair gets. I think you move from Papa to Pops.

Mary Alessi:

Okay.

Steve Alessi:

But I doubt they're going to do that. It'll be stay, you're going to be papa. I really wanted to keep that as just a generational legacy, next generation kind of a thing, because it goes back to honestly, in my family. Papa, my papa's. Papa?

Mary Alessi:

Was Papa I know everybody's papa, so that's cool.

Steve Alessi:

I like that.

Mary Alessi:

I think it's awesome. My mom was grandma. Your mom was grandmami.

Steve Alessi:

Grandmami.

Mary Alessi:

My grandmother was Nana. So we had a lot of different names running around there, but I just didn't know that finding a grandma name was that important. And how many of my friends were going to ask me, what's your grandma name? I didn't know I had. So let me just tell all the listeners, go ahead and pick out your grandma name because you're going to need it. Or your grandpa name because that's going to come at some point and it puts a lot of pressure. It's like the dress you're going to wear for your kids weddings. It's more pressure. What are your grandkids going to name you?

Steve Alessi:

I heard somebody say your grandkids will name you.

Mary Alessi:

A lot of people say that, which.

Steve Alessi:

Is finally something they can pronounce.

Mary Alessi:

I just don't want them calling me Pastor Mary because that's what they hear everybody else call me.

Steve Alessi:

True.

Mary Alessi:

That would be awful. Don't call me that.

Steve Alessi:

Or Mayor.

Mary Alessi:

Mayor, which is what you call MEA.

Steve Alessi:

Mayor. Mayor.

Mary Alessi:

Mayor.

Steve Alessi:

Yeah. No, I like Papa.

Mary Alessi:

Papa's great. I like Mia.

Steve Alessi:

Yeah.

Mary Alessi:

I'm happy with do it.

Steve Alessi:

Yep. So here's the unique season we're in, because we have two adult kids that are married, christopher and Rochelle Mina and great great young man we know is and daughter that Rochelle is. We couldn't have asked for better. And those two have given us grandkids.

Mary Alessi:

Right.

Steve Alessi:

But we still have two adults at home.

Mary Alessi:

Yes, we do.

Steve Alessi:

Lauren, who we call Lolo and Gabby. And they're still living at home.

Mary Alessi:

Right.

Steve Alessi:

So we are still parents, but now we're also grandparents. And yes, we'll always be parents, but like, still okay, Gabby's not home yet. Lauren's not home yet. What's going know still Marino about, like, their teenagers, even though we trust them out on the road. But you don't know these days.

Mary Alessi:

No, we haven't made the full shift into empty nest. No, no, we don't have an empty nest.

Steve Alessi:

And that requires a little bit more work that requires a little bit more.

Mary Alessi:

Pressure and self control.

Steve Alessi:

Yeah, on our part, but the grandparent thing, that's easy.

Mary Alessi:

Oh, my gosh. Did you think it would well, especially for you with Gianna. I'm hoping Moreno I put a spell on.

Steve Alessi:

No, no, it's starting to shift.

Mary Alessi:

No, it's not.

Steve Alessi:

I'm going to break him out of that.

Mary Alessi:

No, you're not.

Steve Alessi:

Stare and papa comfort and get him looking over.

Mary Alessi:

I'm already working on it.

Steve Alessi:

Behind the no, no, I'm in his ear all the time. Papa.

Mary Alessi:

Yes, but he's a boy because the way to him is through his stomach. So when he starts eating real foods.

Steve Alessi:

Just wait okay, right there for a minute. Talking about these grandchildren of ours. All of this ridiculousness about gender confusion in our society, how stupid people shouldn't even give it. Look at infants. You could tell the difference between the boy that Marino is and the girl that Gianna is. There's no confusion. It's only confusing parents that put that.

Mary Alessi:

Stuff on their that confuse their children.

Steve Alessi:

You could tell by that boy's hands that he's going to be a boy.

Mary Alessi:

Oh, yeah. And his feet.

Steve Alessi:

Oh, my God.

Mary Alessi:

He's huge. And her little and she's soft. And the tones of their baby voices.

Steve Alessi:

Yes.

Mary Alessi:

Isn't that ridiculous? Honestly, parents don't even just keep calling it stupid. It's stupid. It's stupid. It will always be stupid. And it will eventually die because it's stupid.

Steve Alessi:

Okay, so how do you juggle, then? Still being a parent that has concerns about their kids, what time they're getting home, they have the right clothes they're wearing. And all of that to being a grandparent, where you just walk in, throw a party and walk out, and you don't have to worry about any dirty diapers cleaning up the table. Temper tantrums. None of that is on you.

Mary Alessi:

Well, grandparents is a whole lot more fun and a whole lot easier than parenting, that's for sure. The pressure is not on us. We get to just encourage our kids that they're doing it good, and we get to just have fun. And we don't have the pressures of making a life because we made a life. So we get to just enjoy the childhood stage of our grandchildren rather than also building our careers and making ends meet and raising kids at the same time. We've done that. So we get to enjoy it. On the parenting side, it's easier and easier as the girls get older because they become more like roommates than they are.

Mary Alessi:

Then we have to parent them.

Steve Alessi:

They're fun.

Mary Alessi:

They are our companions.

Steve Alessi:

I like them a whole lot better as young adults than I did as little girls.

Mary Alessi:

Well, I don't. I miss them. I miss their little girls.

Steve Alessi:

Hey, if they want to keep their bedroom dirty, it's on them. I don't have to worry about going in there and trying to scream and tell them to clean up everything.

Mary Alessi:

No, they have their space. It's like their rooms. And we don't interfere as long as they're respectful and they love God and they do all that.

Steve Alessi:

They're a delight.

Mary Alessi:

They're a lot of fun to be around.

Steve Alessi:

And they actually miss us when we're gone.

Mary Alessi:

They do.

Steve Alessi:

That's what's hilarious.

Mary Alessi:

Well, they do miss us to the.

Steve Alessi:

Point that when we show that's a constant. They have that one forever. No, it's when we get home that we see it. Or the text. I love these texts that we get. Okay, kids, we're heading out of town. We'll be gone for a couple of days. We'll see when we get back.

Steve Alessi:

Stay in touch. Right? We're gone three or 4 hours and they're already saying, we miss you.

Mary Alessi:

Where are you guys? What day are you coming back? I know that's great, but you know that we like that.

Steve Alessi:

I know. That's great.

Mary Alessi:

We do like that they love us. They're not like, thank God Mom and dad are gone.

Steve Alessi:

So have you felt like you've had to correct your daughters, including Rochelle, on how to raise their kids?

Mary Alessi:

Not at all.

Steve Alessi:

That's good.

Mary Alessi:

Not at all. You know, it's funny because when they both come in the posture and my sons, too, they come in the posture of whatever we're doing wrong. Please tell us, what do you think? Mom? Is this right? Should we bathe them this way? Should we be feeding? Like Moina will always say to me, you're the expert. You've raised four kids we don't know. And it makes it very easy to give my input and my advice because I feel like it's warranted. And nobody's trying to prove anything or feel insecure because our relationship mom and daughter was already good. So when it comes to raising kids, I don't interfere. I try not to over parent or give my instruction because those are their babies.

Mary Alessi:

They're not my babies, they're their babies. And I hope I've done my job good enough where I don't have to be a nuisance in any way to continue to give my advice when it's unwarranted. And I love it when they ask me, and I tell them what I think when they ask me. I won't let something that I think that I need to speak to go by without speaking to it, because I have to also understand that they are novices right now. Now, by the time you have your second baby, you become an expert so fast, and they won't need my input as much. But it's been really a beautiful thing to be able to pass on that knowledge, because I say it like this, and I've told the girls, raising four kids and three a year and a half apart, you develop some serious skills. We both have. I mean, we could dress an octopus if we had to, because we've learned through the years of what it takes to get four kids in the car, get four kids up every day, get four kids to eat all their food, four kids to do their oh, my gosh, I'm going to break out in hives thinking about it.

Mary Alessi:

But all the things that we have done that we managed, and we got it in lockdown, we figured it out, we got schedules, we raised them well. They're all still here to tell the story. And you develop a skill, it's like a superpower of knowledge, and then it's just gone. So it's such a beautiful thing to be able to get out all my old resources and tools that are natural for MEA and pass those on. So I tease the girls all the time. I tell them, you haven't seen anything yet. Wait till they're a little older and there's four or five in the house. Me and dad, we're going to show up and show out, but we know how to do four.

Mary Alessi:

They're all wanting to have a lot of kids, so maybe after four we'll be underwater. I don't know, but I look forward to that.

Steve Alessi:

What would you say to that, Grandparent, who feels like they have to get in there, take control of the moment, tell their kid how to raise their kid, discipline the grandkid? What do you say to that overbearing parent, grandparent?

Mary Alessi:

I say I totally understand and I massively empathize with the need to do that, but don't do it. Trust the judgment of your child. Give them some faith. Put your faith in your child just like your parent had to put faith in you. Or maybe they didn't put faith in you and you're bitter at your parent. Don't repeat the pattern and just let it be. They're going to learn, they're not going to lose. They're going to be okay.

Mary Alessi:

You don't have to always be putting some kind of hedge of protection around your grandchild because you don't have any faith in your kids. You raised kids, you raised them. And quite frankly, that's a reflection on your parenting. If you're passing on a lot of negativity and overjudgment and over steering, then evidently you didn't do a good job. So back off a little bit. And I get it that it's hard, but know, you raised your kids right, which means now everything that's been in them that you instilled might be dormant, but that having a baby, just like a switch gets flipped on and all those instincts kicks in and everything you taught them, it's going to come in too, right. And they'll be able to use that as a resource.

Steve Alessi:

Babe, as a grandparent, this shows you how important it is that you really get your financial stability about you throughout your life. It's true because as a grandparents, it's a beautiful gift to be able to cover your grandkids, in this case their college education. Our goal is to do what our parents did for our kids and my mom and dad did the Florida Prepaid scholarship for all of their grandchildren. That's what we're doing. We already covered it for Gianna, get it early as possible. She's got her little four year university prepaid college plan with Florida covered. Next year it's going to be our little boy Marino. It's so good to be able to have the resources that you have sacrificed hard throughout your life to make.

Steve Alessi:

But now that you sit on it, it's great that you want savings, you put it all away because you want to invest for the rainy day, but also to be able to pass that gift along. All four of our kids, college educated, two with master's degree because their grandparents on the Alessi side opened up that door to sow into their future.

Mary Alessi:

That's right.

Steve Alessi:

I think doing that for a grandparents, there's such a unique bond with that grandchild when that happens.

Mary Alessi:

That's right.

Steve Alessi:

And I would say to the parent who may be listening to this, whose kids are being provided for by your grandparents, their grandparent, by your parents for helping your kids get college education. You make sure your kids know throughout their life the reason you're going to go to college and have an opportunity is because your grandparents set in motion a vision for your educational future down the road.

Mary Alessi:

That's right.

Steve Alessi:

Now, I don't know if 20 years from now, 1015, 20 years, if college is still going to be what the importance and priority that it is today, but hopefully it will be, but you let your kids know that the grandparent has done that. So back to just juggling these grandbabies as well as our daughters.

Mary Alessi:

Yeah.

Steve Alessi:

What would you say to that person that feels like this is a little too much for them, having a hard time juggling the two?

Mary Alessi:

Juggling being a grandparent or juggling being.

Steve Alessi:

A parent and still a grandparent? Oh, my gosh.

Mary Alessi:

Well, no, it is definitely a tough, nuanced thing. It's not an easy season, and at the same time, it's a beautiful season because you get to pour into your next generation and it creates a lot more patience and comparison and contrast. So you see how different you are with your grandkids, and yet you still have kids at and it they get the benefit of you do. It happens. Now Chris will go, I can't believe you let Lauren and Gabby by with that. You never would have let us buy with that. Well, the truth is, you just lighten up as you get older, and then when grandkids come along, you really lighten up. You just want to bless them.

Steve Alessi:

Let me talk about that right there.

Mary Alessi:

Okay.

Steve Alessi:

That is great.

Mary Alessi:

Yeah.

Steve Alessi:

Because I think I learned this just your temperament over the years. I used to blame you for not taking anything too serious and overseeing things, but part of the blessing of our family to this day is that, yeah, you can get burdened by certain things. But Mary, you have this ability to always just try to be even in trying to be firm, you still have an aspect of fun and lightness about you. Maybe it's because you talk you can talk it out. You say things and you constantly say things and talk it out, and it reinforces certain behaviors in their mind and hearing from you, you're speaking to the heart all the time. But point I'm making is, if you're going to be a grandparent and you're still with kids at home, try to keep it as fun as possible in the grandparent stage.

Mary Alessi:

Right.

Steve Alessi:

You don't have to treat the grandkids like you treat the kids at home. Yeah, we got young adults at home. We treat them one way.

Mary Alessi:

That's right.

Steve Alessi:

Get around those grandkids. We're treating them a whole different way.

Mary Alessi:

That's right.

Steve Alessi:

We want our grandkids to think of fun.

Mary Alessi:

Yeah.

Steve Alessi:

We want them when they see Grandmammy, Papa, and Mia, we want them to think, this is going to be a fun time.

Mary Alessi:

That's right.

Steve Alessi:

It should be that. And we shouldn't be bringing so much stress and anxiety because we're going into it thinking, well, our kids aren't doing it right. Those clothes aren't right that they're wearing.

Mary Alessi:

Well, that's that season that you can squander if you're not careful. Because if you struggled in the parenting season when you were raising your kids and now you have grandkids, you've got to relearn and you have to start now applying. Okay. I don't want to be what I was as a parent to my grandkids. You've got to flip that switch because then nobody's going to want to be around you grandkids either. And your kids won't bring the kids around because nothing's changed in you. I think that is definitely a trap that we can fall into if we don't truly understand how short the season is. Because my older sister sent me a video just day before yesterday.

Mary Alessi:

Her oldest grandson, I kid you not, it feels like he was just born yesterday, and he is in 7th grade. And she will always send me videos and pictures and she'll say, Enjoy it all. It goes faster the second time around. And it's true. It's true, because now her three aren't. There's no more infants, there's no more babies. So for her, and that it scares me when I see that. And I realize that we're going to blink our eyes and we're going to have a bunch of grandkids and they're going to be in school plays and grown up and then wanting to have their own time and be with their own friends, and they're just trying to keep up with their parents.

Mary Alessi:

Grandparents get the short end of the stick after about ten to twelve years. Your mom says that all the time. And it sounds so horrible when she says it. I'm like, Please don't say that. But it's true. So you have to pivot and say the season is going to be shorter this second time around. I've got to be a good grandparent, enjoy this season. I don't have to over parent.

Mary Alessi:

I don't need to parent them. They are not my kids. I'm going to enjoy them and lighten the load of my own children by being good grandparents to my grandkids.

Steve Alessi:

I think of the last year we were at the farm with one of the camps, and we bring our kids and our grandparents up to the farm when we do our men's camp and women's camp. One of the reasons we do that is we like the campers, seeing our family unit together. They don't always get to see how we integrate or interact with one another when we're here at the church doing work, but it's a great way for the people that go to these camps to connect, even with our family, just in another dimension. So we have them up there and it was what, I think Gianna was four years old. Three or four years old.

Mary Alessi:

Months.

Steve Alessi:

Sorry. Months. Thank you. And I took her outside because I had nothing to do during that part of the camp. So I took her out. She's in her little Minnie Mouse stroller that somebody got her, and I just put her next to the cow pasture. And I pulled out a Chris Stapleton song that I happened to like, and I played that song. And that has become our song.

Mary Alessi:

It's the cutest thing.

Steve Alessi:

It's crazy.

Mary Alessi:

Yeah.

Steve Alessi:

Because of that one afternoon where I had some time with her, I just played this song on my phone and would sing it to her little face because it just talks about how sweet, how smooth and all of that she is. And I know it's not a Godly song, but it's called Tennessee Whiskey.

Mary Alessi:

God forgive you, son.

Steve Alessi:

But I actually have pictures of me dancing with her at her wedding to that song, You're Smooth, and it made this sweet little bond to where a couple of weeks ago, MEA and Steph had her over at Mathison Hammock and they were fishing, and a boat came by playing that song loud over its speaker system. And she immediately pointed to the boat that was out a good 30, 40, 50 yards.

Mary Alessi:

1516 months.

Steve Alessi:

Y'all. Yes.

Mary Alessi:

She's still a baby.

Steve Alessi:

Still a baby. And she pointed to the boat and.

Mary Alessi:

She said, papa, that's crazy. That's crazy.

Steve Alessi:

Because I'm jealous knows that song. Wow is our song. And to this day, when I play it, she settles down and she kind of looks at me. She knows it's so sweet.

Mary Alessi:

Yeah.

Steve Alessi:

So those know, we should make it fun with them. Yes. She gets sassy and I want to smack her little mouth like I used to do her mother, when her mother would say things she shouldn't say, but I'm not going to do that. I watched David Martinez, maury Martinez. They became grandparents of our friend circle. Them and the Paulas were grandparents about the same time. And so we've watched our dear friends. And Burke, he's got grandkids people that we've been in relationship with almost 30 years.

Steve Alessi:

And seeing that they're in that season of life with grandkids and even some of our staff are starting with Grandkids, Armando and Anna. Watching all of them, it's great. And David told me that time, man, I'm just going to show up. I'm going to be fun. We're going to have fun with the kids. And he's a giver. You cannot so he's going to always do something. The tree house he just built in his backyard is better than some people's houses.

Steve Alessi:

Thing is amazing. So we learned from that because the parent still wants to come out. Let me correct that. No, don't say that to your mom. No, pick up. Don't throw that crayon on the ground.

Mary Alessi:

Right.

Steve Alessi:

But not at this season.

Mary Alessi:

No.

Steve Alessi:

We got the adults, the young adult kids. They're grown up. We treat them like adults that's right. As they're growing up. And then we've got these grandkids on the other far hand, and we're looking at them saying, just be a baby.

Mary Alessi:

That's it.

Steve Alessi:

You don't have to be an adult yet. Don't worry about it. Mary we wouldn't let our kids out of the house without shoes and socks on. At Gianna, she didn't have shoes on for the first almost year.

Mary Alessi:

And she runs in the grass and on the dirt, and we think it's the cutest thing. Dirty feet are so cute.

Steve Alessi:

And our kids, we're like, oh, my God, they're going to get worms. We're like, oh, how sweet. She's not going to get anything. Nothing's going to happen. Let her run around. It's the sweetest thing. What a great season of life that is.

Mary Alessi:

Oh, man, god is good. Life is good.

Steve Alessi:

That's how it's supposed to be. That's right. And while we're talking about this, Mary, you mentioned something to me that I think is pretty powerful. Multiple generational blessings. You got the Abraham, Isaac and Jacob, right. Sorry. For those of you that are non church people, non Bible people, you may not understand this, but you'll understand at the end how powerful it is when you intentionalize doing right with your kids and family. There's the Abraham blessing.

Steve Alessi:

God put it on him. He turned around, put that blessing on his son and then his son, because of that power of that blessing, put it on his own son. So Abraham's great grandson no, it would have been Abraham's grandson received that blessing. Tell us a little bit about what you feel in the power of that.

Mary Alessi:

I think that what I had never seen before, the blessing of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob is that there's a blessing that comes with the blessing of Jacob, that third generation that you can't have unless you make it there. And it's so easy for us to just pass on to our children. But what happens if we intentionalize passing on to our children's children? God is a multi generational God, and I believe that he understands how hard it is to make it down the generations. So when we get to that blessing of Jacob, which is that third generation, it is like a triple blessing, but it is its own blessing that comes upon our lives and on our children's lives. And if we're great grandparents, we are alive to experience it. I think your mom's experiencing it. My mom's experiencing it with their great grandchildren, living by faith and walking in the faith of God. And it's an additional blessing.

Mary Alessi:

It's like a bonus blessing that comes into your life because you're not just satisfied with your children, but you're leaving a legacy for your children's children. And you're naming know, most people can't. Can you name your great grandfather's name? Think about that. The great grandfather Giovanni. So you can. Most people cannot, which is why some.

Steve Alessi:

Of these kids need to start naming their kids after their great grandparents. After their great grandparents or their parents not finding all these unique names out there like flower child.

Mary Alessi:

No. Honor the family legacy when you honor it, I believe when it's top of mind and it's a high priority and value in your life, you're going to be more prone to stay married to your spouse because you honor something that's outside that if you lose this marriage, you lose that blessing that's coming. That's not to say that if you've had to get divorced, and remarried. God can't make a beautiful, whole new legacy. Yes, he can. But that's plan B. That's not plan A. So if you're going to get married, get married with that understanding of there is a blessing for our children and our children's children.

Mary Alessi:

So let's make sure we pass down the understanding of what that blessing looks like. If you look at Jacob's life, just his life alone, start with Abraham. Abraham had to make the sacrifice of Isaac. Isaac didn't have to. It was a completely different expectation. But when Jacob got to his life, he came with such a family what's the word? Not just legacy, but I can't think of the word. But anyway, he was so equipped with this powerful forefather naming that was on him from his father and his grandfather. So there's a Alessis that comes in understanding that when we pass that down to our children, the legacy brings a blessing into their life that they won't have otherwise.

Mary Alessi:

And it's the power of three.

Steve Alessi:

Yeah.

Mary Alessi:

It's powerful.

Steve Alessi:

When you say that third blessing, that third generational blessing, I think it's not just a triple blessing, but there's triple power to it.

Mary Alessi:

Triple power.

Steve Alessi:

I believe there's something that hits that next generation, that third generation, that comes because of the grandparents being around, being included, being a part of the kids life. I can't encourage you enough. You have kids, get them around your parents. They need to have a relationship with the grandparents. It brings stability, it brings honor, it brings legacy. It intentionalizes, all of that. People are looking for it.

Mary Alessi:

Yeah.

Steve Alessi:

As a kid gets older, it's amazing how you go through seasons. We talk about seasons as a grandparent, as young adults, you've got a season where you're dependent on your parents, and then you become dependent on friends, and then you become independent. And then as you get older, you start depending on friends, and then you end up finding yourself dependent again upon the wisdom and experience of your grandparents, of the kids grandparents.

Mary Alessi:

That's right.

Steve Alessi:

So you start to appreciate legacy only later in life.

Mary Alessi:

I know.

Steve Alessi:

And how valuable your parents were.

Mary Alessi:

I know.

Steve Alessi:

But sometimes it's too late because you've never cultivated a relationship. I can remember Stephanie back in the day. She wanted to play soccer. She wasn't a soccer player, but she wanted to play, get out in the grass. I guess that's where Gianna gets it, her and her father. But my parents would come to the soccer game. My dad didn't care about soccer. My mom didn't care about soccer.

Steve Alessi:

They'd never show up on time. They'd always get there for a little bit. But when they showed up right. It was so sweet, and it meant a lot to the kids. Being included in your grandkids life is huge. It's got to be a priority.

Mary Alessi:

Yes.

Steve Alessi:

And you may be busy as a parent, as a professional, as a person, but you have to intentionalize being. A part of those grandkids lives you do.

Mary Alessi:

And this is kind of a current news topic because lately research has shown, and we've read it recently, it's called The Grandparent Effect. Remember us reading that article about the grandparent effect? That when you intentionalize. The cultures that intentionalize. Having the grandparent that lives in the home with their children and their grandchildren, all of them are healthier. The whole family experiences a healthier physically and emotionally, and the grandparent lives longer because they contribute to the household. And the kids are taught to see the grandparents as a contributor from the perspective of wisdom and understanding. Reading your kids a book or your teenager having the grandparent to go in and ask, hey, am I dating the right girl or am I dating the right boy? And then the grandmother or grandfather contributing to the household even in the little ways they can, that that grandparents effect is something that researchers have shown is ultimately the better way of life to choose for longevity, for health, for prosperity and overall peace. Now just read your Bible.

Mary Alessi:

That's in your Bible. But we're seeing that play out how important grandparents are and that the grandparent effect really, truly does have an effect on the family.

Steve Alessi:

That is so good. I went to my mom the other day, I said, I need you to talk to one of the grandkids about something.

Mary Alessi:

Absolutely.

Steve Alessi:

One of my kids about something. Oh, it's help me out. Reinforce it. Absolutely. Two witnesses, three witnesses. Let it all be.

Mary Alessi:

Absolutely.

Steve Alessi:

One of the greatest joys I had this year, honor. Loved doing it and it was moving and it was very intentional. Was dedicating the grandchild that now carries the Alessi name.

Mary Alessi:

Yeah.

Steve Alessi:

Now Marino, born at the beginning of the summer, john, Alessi, Chris and them carried on the name of John. My dad was John. I'm john stephen christopher's. Christopher john. Keeping that name, John Marino, John right in there, that's a great legacy. I love seeing that. And then to be able to stand on that platform and hold that little guy up there and dedicate him before the Lord in front of all of our dear friends and church members was one of the greatest joys and honors that I get to have in my life. I did it with Gianna and it was so beautiful the year before.

Steve Alessi:

To do it with the namesake is just a blessing to have that and to see that, he will always know that as he's elevated up there in that little blue outfit and I wore my blue jacket to match, he looked like you. It was so precious. He knew his grandfather dedicated him to a way that this kid's going to walk in life. And I pray the grandfather's words will continue to speak, even come in agreement with the words his dad speaks as he gives them direction for his own life. Because our job as parents to train up a child in the way they'll go. So when they get older, they will not depart from it. They're going to need us more than ever. So those who are listening, who are still at that may have young adult kids at home, treat them like young adults.

Steve Alessi:

But if you've got grandkids on the way, treat them like little kids. Be a blessing to them. May they see joy and happiness every time you come around. They're going to celebrate you because you're celebrating them. Make sure you're in their lives. They need you more than ever in this day that we live. So, hey, I hope today you were blessed by our Family Business podcast with the Alessi's. Thanks for joining.