The Message of Modesty: Guidance For Young Women on What to Wear (and Why) | S6 E13

Gaby Alessi:

And kind of flip it back on those people and say, oh, how dare you put it on the woman, you know, men should control themselves. I feel like people have refrained from talking about it, and so there's a lot of young girls that are dressing inappropriately or even older girls just out of ignorance.

Stephanie Muiña:

Yeah.

Gaby Alessi:

Welcome back to the family business podcast with the Alessis. My name is Gaby Alessi, and I'm here with my sisters on a sister episode today, ladies, how are we feeling?

Stephanie Muiña:

Good. We're feeling great. Yeah. So glad to be doing this, but this is the first time we've ever done it. Just us 3.

Gaby Alessi:

Is the 1st time we've ever been in the podcast Us 3 Girls, and we're gonna talk about a really fun topic today, but we just wanna remind everybody The reason why this podcast is so important is because family is everybody's business, and so we're gonna get to some of the business that you might have with family, that you might have with some friends. And then before we get into it, look at this merch on the table, ladies.

Stephanie Muiña:

Wow.

Gaby Alessi:

Stephanie, why don't you, why don't you pick 1 and show it to the crowd that you like the most.

Stephanie Muiña:

Okay. Well, of course, I have

Lauren Alessi:

that one's so cute.

Stephanie Muiña:

That's adorable. To bring this to everybody's attention. Here you go. I don't know where I was looking. This is adorable. Definitely getting Gia and Matthew one of these, but my personal favorite would have to be The gray I

Gaby Alessi:

like the gray sweater. Yeah. I love the gray sweater. Lauren, would you like to say

Lauren Alessi:

hi to everybody? Hello, everybody. I totally agree. The gray Sweatshirt is a favorite. I've already ordered mine.

Gaby Alessi:

It's super, super nice. So make sure you get yours today. You can go to the website, and you can get your merch, your family business podcast merch. Alright. Let's get into the topic today. We're excited for this one. This is a topic for all girls, for sisters, for daughters. And if you are listening, watching, then we would all encourage you guys to, right now, send this, share this link of this podcast episode.

Gaby Alessi:

If you have daughters, if you have cousins, if you have nieces, a mom, whatever it is that is any all the ladies in your life, This is going to be an episode for them, and we're going to talk about the hot topic of modesty.

Stephanie Muiña:

What what

Lauren Alessi:

is your saying, Stephanie? Modesty is modesty.

Gaby Alessi:

Modesty is modesty, and we're gonna jump right into it. The reason why we want to discuss it is because recently we've seen that modesty has been kind of put on the back burner. It's been overlooked, but also become a major argument in the feminist movement of girls don't need to be modest, why do we need to be the ones that are modest. A lot of different things when it comes to this topic of modesty. So let's jump into it, and let's just kinda discuss our take on it as a family, but then also present some biblical values too. Because what we're what we like to do with this podcast is we talk about things that we necessarily can't talk about on the stage every Sunday. So let's get into it. But also

Stephanie Muiña:

tell them our plan, Gabby.

Gaby Alessi:

This is a plan. I didn't know we were gonna tell everybody the plan.

Lauren Alessi:

I know we're gonna okay. Go ahead.

Gaby Alessi:

So, basically, we have a list of questions. I have a list of questions that I'm going to spew out to my sisters, and we wanted to make this conversation in this episode as real as possible. So they have not told me their answers. We have not really Discussed all of the points that we're gonna discuss. So we're gonna go for it and really take you into the living room or conversation with the Alessi girls, Alessi Muina girls, and, dive into it. So do you guys have any

Lauren Alessi:

funny Allen and Ashley. This is totally improv. Oh, man.

Gaby Alessi:

So do you guys Probably gonna have to cut, Bleep out some I'm kidding now.

Stephanie Muiña:

No. We could do it.

Lauren Alessi:

We could

Gaby Alessi:

do it. We could do it. Okay. So let me ask you guys this. Do you have any funny stories or any even real experiences growing up where maybe you were tested when it came to modesty or you were checked in your own view of modesty.

Stephanie Muiña:

Thoughts? Do

Lauren Alessi:

you? I have several. I can't point to a specific one because I feel like Yeah. I have several. I I can empathize with the girls who Are a little confused by the thought of modesty a little bit, but still I think, you know, as a Christian And as a woman who's become a little bit older Yeah. It's very clear why we needed to stay modest as girls and as women, why we need to kind of hold that to a certain standard. Now that I'm older, I under like, I fully understand that. But as a young girl, I I kind of liked to sort of, like, have fun a little bit. I mean, I always knew where not to cross the lines.

Gaby Alessi:

Yeah. Anyway,

Stephanie Muiña:

he moved to Hawaii for a short time where it was like freedom. Yeah. And and that was the culture. It wasn't anything. Culture.

Gaby Alessi:

Wearing a piece in Hawaii was literally wearing, like,

Stephanie Muiña:

like, shorts and a t shirt shirt here.

Lauren Alessi:

Yeah. It was normal. So But then here Yeah. You can't do that.

Gaby Alessi:

And then you got home, and then your dad was like, what? Steph,

Stephanie Muiña:

what about you? You know, no. Because that wasn't really my style was more modest. My style was more, Conservative. And it would change every 2 months. So no. I don't know. I didn't have any moments like that. I will say, Not that I would wear things inappropriate.

Stephanie Muiña:

I would wear things that did make me look more attractive

Lauren Alessi:

Mhmm.

Stephanie Muiña:

When I was in my single years in, like, dating and, I I looked very different from how I look right now and I looked very good. I loved how I looked at it, and I showed it. And I I never did anything inappropriate. I like Lolo, I never crossed a line, But, my heart definitely used what I wore to attract because it was like, I'm single. I'm ready to mingle. Yeah. And it I did have to, like, sometimes tell myself, like, okay. Are you doing this to just, like, look pretty and whatever, or is this coming out of a bad heart? But that that was the only time.

Stephanie Muiña:

And then when I got pregnant, it was like, Cover me up. Nobody look at me, please.

Gaby Alessi:

Well, I think it's interesting because we live in a a city that's A very sexy city

Stephanie Muiña:

Mhmm.

Gaby Alessi:

Like Miami. First of all, it's like the weather doesn't help us.

Stephanie Muiña:

You can't wear a sweater.

Gaby Alessi:

No. You can't wear something that's long sleeve. You can't wear a turtleneck. You can't wear something. So already it's one of those those cities where it's, like, the weather kind of pushes you to wear less clothing Yes. If you literally want to survive. But then also

Lauren Alessi:

From your workplace to your car.

Gaby Alessi:

Yeah. But then also I think the culture

Lauren Alessi:

Yeah.

Gaby Alessi:

Is very Flaunt it while you have it. Yes. And we see it I mean, even in youth ministry and growing up, we see that a lot of it's when you're younger, You show it, and the the mentality is you show it off because one day you won't be able to because you have the body now

Lauren Alessi:

Yeah.

Gaby Alessi:

And take advantage of it. Yeah. And I still think that there's a way for us to present ourselves in a nice way to look attractive and to be beautiful without flaunting what our mom gave us in a way, you know. And I think the conversation needs to be had with young girls because, honestly, I I feel like Because the feminist movement has become so loud nowadays and has tried to take over this entire this the conversation of modesty and kind of flip it back on those people and say, oh, how dare you put it on the woman, you know, men should control themselves. I feel like people have refrained from talking about it. Mhmm. And so there's a lot of young girls that are dressing inappropriately or even older girls just out of ignorance. Yeah.

Gaby Alessi:

That they just don't they don't hear from parents anymore. They don't hear from friends anymore. So that's where I think with you guys or with this conversation, it's good for us to talk about, like, first of all, what is modesty? How do we actively live that and walk that out. Why do we do it? And then how can we live lives that are presentable to God

Lauren Alessi:

Mhmm.

Gaby Alessi:

And presentable to just culture, You know, like, well, there's a spiritual aspect too, but then there's also just a realistic aspect.

Stephanie Muiña:

Yeah. And I

Lauren Alessi:

and I think it's interesting because when Steph was talking about, You know, like, some girls do dress up for men and to get attention or just to get attention from anybody. Yeah. And it's interesting for me. I always felt like How I if I ever dressed when I dress inappropriately, it was always, like, just out of complete ignorance. Like, it I'd never even thought about attention, and so I'm glad that you say that. Some girls do dress out of complete ignorance. Yeah. They just don't know.

Lauren Alessi:

They haven't been taught. Yeah. And not everybody dresses to get attention. Some people just really aren't told, and it's until you get older and your eyes are open a little bit more and you're Hold on a second. Like, I should not have worn that just because, 1, it didn't look good. No.

Stephanie Muiña:

I know you would look on the photos, like, what the heck It's like the

Lauren Alessi:

Yeah. Bad look. And, ultimately, I wanna be presentable to the world. When I leave my house, I wanna look good. Like, I should look put together, but then ultimately, I wanna be presentable before God. But I think that's important to distinguish that Not all girls dress for attention. Some girls just genuinely like, for me, I I was completely ignorant to the fact. I was just like

Gaby Alessi:

And let's also let's also consider that when you go to the store like, we just had our homecoming dance for the youth group, and I got so many texts. We had to put, like, a, hey, here's what we recommend, like, the dress code and all of that. And I got so many texts from moms and, like, aunts and stuff, and they were, like, We don't even know where to shop for our daughter.

Lauren Alessi:

Yeah.

Gaby Alessi:

Like, we can't even get everywhere you go it's, spaghetti straps. Fishnets. Fishnets. Yeah. Super tight clothes, and then high high short short, like, dresses for these young girls. And even when they went to the adult stores, they couldn't find anything because then it was low cut. Everything was just inappropriate. Yeah.

Gaby Alessi:

So, again, it goes back to part of this is the society that we live in. Yeah. So some of them Do it for attention, but some of them do it because they're following the trends. Yeah. But that's where you have to look back and say, okay, well then, am I Even if it's I'm not trying to do just get someone's attention. Am I dressing in a way that is showing and representing a good godly image? Yeah. So, yes, it is what they're selling and Yeah. You're not doing it for men, totally, but why don't you just first start doing it for yourself and for your relationship with the Lord? Yeah.

Gaby Alessi:

And I think that's what every young girl should be focusing on right now. Because, yes, the topic of guys does get in the way. Guys are looking. They are men are just more, visual creatures. Yeah. And they're they're just attracted attracted to things like that. You cannot stop them, and you cannot blame them.

Stephanie Muiña:

Yeah.

Gaby Alessi:

The minute you start Blame them, you're blaming biology, and then you're gonna never really find the answer that you're looking for. That's just how they're created.

Lauren Alessi:

Mhmm.

Gaby Alessi:

So I think before you get into the argument of, Well, don't do it because you don't want your brother to stumble. I think you need to do it for yourself first, and you need to say, I want to walk in a manner that's pleasing to God and then pleasing to myself.

Stephanie Muiña:

Yeah. Because it's it comes back to the whole idea of what's the standard for yourself.

Lauren Alessi:

Yeah.

Stephanie Muiña:

Yeah. Like, what standard are you gonna pass on? And That you'll really ask yourself that question when you have a daughter of your own that you wanna protect for the rest of her life. And it's Like, I have Gia and when I saw her just looking so cute one day, I was like, oh, crap. I have a pretty daughter, And what if she's beautiful? And I thought, what if I have a beautiful daughter? I don't want a beautiful dog anymore because I'm gonna have to. It's it's freaky because I'm the protector Yeah. And her father's the protector. And lord knows how that's gonna turn out, and I'm gonna have to teach her, But it there's so many different routes that you can take. Yes.

Stephanie Muiña:

Guys are going to look at you. Yes. You shouldn't be showing your skin too much, but it's more than that. It's more of the what standard are you gonna hold yourself to without anybody having to tell you? Like, what's your con personal conviction on how you need to present yourself? Yeah. And, you you you know, I Saw an Instagram reel the other day talking about Italians, about how one of the things that they do is they really believe How they present themselves to the world is how you respect yourself. Mhmm. It's how you view yourself. And I I think Spaniards are the exact same way, And it's true.

Stephanie Muiña:

How you put how you walk out of your house.

Gaby Alessi:

Yeah.

Stephanie Muiña:

Yeah. And let's also tie in girls that don't dress up, That just

Gaby Alessi:

weird. Gonna say that. Yes.

Stephanie Muiña:

Speaking the same. Just literally wear sweats, and they're like, oh, whatever. I'm just gonna go out. I'm just with my friends. Girls that kinda look kinda you just don't put any effort into how you're presenting yourself. It really is a reflection of how you see yourself.

Lauren Alessi:

Yes.

Stephanie Muiña:

And that's the question you have to ask. Am I presenting myself as a confident, young woman of god who thinks I'm beautiful, Beautiful enough to protect Yes. By covering. Yeah.

Gaby Alessi:

You know? Your presentation is how you are presenting yourself. Yeah. So What do you wanna present when you walk into a room? What do you want other people to see, and what do you want other people to know about you, to think about you? And, no, I think, yes, it's like the whole thing of it doesn't matter what people say about you. Yes. But at the same time, it does. You wanna be professional when you're in your work environment. You wanna walk into the office. You should have your hair done.

Gaby Alessi:

You you should have some makeup on. You should have yourself you're presenting yourself to the office in a way. You're presenting yourself to your boss, to your manager. So you wanna present to them that you're professional, that you're mature, that you're responsible. When you're around your friends, when you're going I mean, this even goes into dating relationships. How do you dress when you go on a date, you know. Because I think here's the the funny thing. If you're talking to teenage girls, teenage girls, it only gets harder.

Gaby Alessi:

Because when you become a young adult, you're responsible for yourself, and then you have to make the decision of do I actually want to wear this or do I want to protect myself? There was a couple weeks ago, we went out to this this restaurant with a bunch of our friends, And I wore, like, this white romper, and it was like this long romper. I was covered up. Nothing was showing. Frankly, it was one of those outfits It's like, just show a little bit of your neck. My gosh. It was, like, super it was very modest, but it was a white outfit. It was it was a beautiful beautiful, Outfit, I loved it. And I was walking through the restaurant and I saw this older guy and I was like, oh, This guy's looking at me, and it's disgusting.

Gaby Alessi:

I hated it, and he did the whole, like, I walked by him. He looked at me from this side, and then when I walked by him, he actually turned and, like, looked again, and I wanted to crawl, like, curl up in a ball. I was, like, I wanna go home. I wanna put a robe on. I wanna cover up entirely. And it just so gave me this feeling. It was, like, it gave me the ick. Yeah.

Lauren Alessi:

You know,

Gaby Alessi:

I was, like, I don't wanna do this, but it did it did make me realize I am in a season and I am becoming a woman and I am looking a certain way where I don't want people to see me that way. Yeah. I don't want men to look at me that way. It has nothing to do with you taking responsibility. No. I don't want you to look at me that Yeah. And if there's something that I can do on the front end to just protect myself and present myself in a more professional or a more modest way, then I am gonna do that. Because ultimately, I want to protect protect what I have.

Gaby Alessi:

Yeah. Yeah.

Stephanie Muiña:

And I think you also did you wanna say something? No. Go ahead. I think Something to go back to is, how to dress when you are dating. Either, like, in the dating world or you are dating somebody specifically. Yep. And Some I learned very quickly, that every single girl and I say this with purity of heart. Every single girl is very smart And Yeah. Yeah.

Stephanie Muiña:

We know what can get a reaction out of a guy. We we do. Yeah. And it's actually our gift because we need that when you're married. You need that to protect yourself too. But we can use that to our advantage when we're trying to attract men, and we use that to our advantage when You're trying to attract the person that you are dating, and you like when they like how you look Mhmm. Especially when you're married. Like, You're like, I really hope I bought this dress specifically for you, and that starts very early in a girl's brain.

Stephanie Muiña:

Like, very early.

Lauren Alessi:

Too early.

Stephanie Muiña:

She really does. Gosh. Gianna would walk in the room and be like, daddy, daddy, and

Lauren Alessi:

she's wearing a long

Stephanie Muiña:

dress, and she loves to show her dad her dress. But it's very I think every girl has to admit. Just admit it. Yep. You know what can get a guy's reaction. Yeah. And if you know, Then you have to practice that control, and you have to practice that gift. Yeah.

Stephanie Muiña:

Save it for when it Save it for marriage. Save that gift for marriage. Do not use it now, but come to the realization that you know, man.

Lauren Alessi:

Like Well and okay. I I think it's a great thing for a girl to be like, I wanna walk into a room and have a presence about me. Like, even if she's married, be like, I want to have the presence of I'm this man's wife. You know, like, you can do that without flaunting everything, and I was always the girl who was, like, I love fashion. I I have loved fashion all my life. So when I would see and I still see the trends going a certain way that now I'm just like, this isn't even fashion. This is just goofy. Yeah.

Lauren Alessi:

But you're you're like, how do I, like, match up with this because it's not even stuff I like to wear? Mhmm. But I'll I'll never forget, I heard a quote from Alexander McQueen. And if you haven't looked into his designs, You need to look into his designs. And he's like, I think women are so cool and so powerful that I want to make designs that make People fear what women are wearing. That make people fear women because I just think they're so powerful and so strong. But I was like, man, that's awesome. In a certain way, like, I don't agree with that fully, but I like that he's designing clothes that women can put on That gives women a presence. Yeah.

Lauren Alessi:

So I kind of like the idea of, like, have a presence about you, not one that's, like, Half naked.

Gaby Alessi:

Yes. Yes.

Lauren Alessi:

Walk into a room and, yeah, put nice makeup on. Do your hair. Like, wear your heels. That was something our grandfather would Always tell us, like, when we would go all out in our outfit, he would always, like, really, really, compliment us on and really appreciate it because he's like, thank you, and and he was Italian. So he really appreciated that, and he grew up with that concept. But I don't think it's bad for a woman, because naturally that's in us, to want someone to go, hey. Your outfit, you stepped it up and you look amazing today. I think that's naturally in us, but it's when you're manipulating it for the wrong reasons Yeah.

Lauren Alessi:

That, okay, it goes bad. Mhmm. And and I think we as we just need to make sure our hearts and our minds are in a pure place and making sure it comes from, you know, a really great place. Because we've all seen that woman who dresses up for attention from men. She gets the guy, and then she wears sweats and no makeup never does her hair again, and it's like

Stephanie Muiña:

Oh my god.

Lauren Alessi:

Okay. So who are you dressing up for? And then you see some girls that they're just consistent with their And even after they get married, they have this presence about them. And that's that's the sort of, like, modesty I aspire to be Exactly.

Gaby Alessi:

You're not dressing up to achieve anything.

Lauren Alessi:

That's just who you are. That's your presence.

Gaby Alessi:

And you're consistent with it. And I'd also say, especially for the younger girls listening, if you feel the need to dress in a you wear the tube top, you wear the crop top, you wear the short shorts. If you wear that, then just know you're going to get the wrong person's attention. Yeah. You're gonna get the wrong guy's attention. You are not going to get a respectable guy that's going to treat you right and that's going to respect you and your boundaries.

Stephanie Muiña:

Yeah.

Gaby Alessi:

That's not gonna happen. Because a respectable guy, and it's it's not it's not to throw anything anybody under the bus, but a respectable guy and a mature guy looks at a girl that wears that and he's, like, I don't want to be with somebody like that. Because guys also want you to protect yourself, and your body because they're, like, I am the only one that wants that. You know? Like, I want to have you and only you, and I want you to be mine, and I don't want anyone to see that. Yeah. So a good respectable guy that you're gonna really love and that's gonna take care of you is not gonna be attracted to a girl that's wearing a short skirt or short shorts or anything like that. So that's where keep dressing modestly, and obviously don't do it for the guy, but you will have a guy that notices Does you even when you wear the long sleeves or you wear the bonnet? Too. And girls.

Gaby Alessi:

Yeah.

Stephanie Muiña:

Yeah.

Gaby Alessi:

But you you wanna make sure you're getting the the right attention, and it's from the right person.

Stephanie Muiña:

Yeah. You know, if I if I had to tell my daughter this when she was 15, 16, I would tell her, Okay. Let's look at somebody who creates the trends of the immodest clothing. Let's look at, The Kardashians. Yeah. Okay? Nobody's married. No. And the one that just got married, it took her she was hung up on Another guy for, like, 15 years.

Gaby Alessi:

And she's the most modest one.

Stephanie Muiña:

The most you're right. She's the most modest. And All the other ones are not they can't keep a husband. No. They can't keep a respectable man around. They have kids, but their kids are disrespectful. And then look at somebody who promotes modesty, Victoria Beckham. Look at her life.

Stephanie Muiña:

She has a husband that's been in her life. She has Kids. And then the one time she started dressing immodestly was when she was having struggles in her marriage, and I I would tell my daughter, Okay. The person that set that trend of that tube top Yeah. What's their life? What's the fruit of their life? Who were they attracting? What jobs do they have? Yeah. Because Kendall's making a tequila brand. Yeah. Victoria Beckham has a legendary fashion line.

Stephanie Muiña:

She has her family together, and, no, it's not people to aspire to Fire to become. No. But it's just an example. Go into those stores. Look at the pictures of the models around surrounding you.

Lauren Alessi:

Yeah. Is that the kinda girl you wanna be? Because that's what the clothes will turn you into. It's so true. Well, also, just, like, practically speaking, We spend so much money on our clothes. Like, why are we wearing so little of it? I know. I think that all the time. When I see the classic, Like, I see so many young girls and they're wearing the same thing, and it's like the tube top with the baggy, like, high rise jeans and then, like, the air forces. And I'm like, I know you have so many.

Lauren Alessi:

Like, what I would give to

Gaby Alessi:

go to your closet and just, like, help you

Lauren Alessi:

out because you're spending so much money on your clothes, and it's good clothes. Just wear more.

Gaby Alessi:

Yeah. Exactly. Be real? It's not that cute.

Lauren Alessi:

It's not cute.

Gaby Alessi:

It's not that cute.

Stephanie Muiña:

It's not.

Lauren Alessi:

Everybody wore that In the 2000s, it's been done. Yeah. Do something else.

Gaby Alessi:

I love what are those the 2 the 2 the twin sisters. I always forget their names. Olsens? The Olsens twins. They I love them because

Lauren Alessi:

they They're their Ashley.

Gaby Alessi:

Yes. Because they have found their style and they don't change it with the culture. They got a goofy style, but it's their style. Victoria Beckham has her style and she is not changing it. And like you said, the Kendall Jenner is dating Bad Bunny, who in his recent video has, like, 50 women all

Stephanie Muiña:

around him. I do not On a guy

Gaby Alessi:

that is just surrounded by women.

Lauren Alessi:

Does not speak Spanish.

Stephanie Muiña:

She also does not speak Spanish,

Lauren Alessi:

and he

Gaby Alessi:

doesn't really speak English. So that's why

Lauren Alessi:

I'm saying happening there.

Gaby Alessi:

And I would say this as we're we're coming to to the end of it. It this isn't just how you dress every single day. It's also when it comes to, like, posting. Because now we're in a very digital world.

Stephanie Muiña:

Just gonna bring that up, Gabby.

Gaby Alessi:

And I would say, look at us.

Lauren Alessi:

Look at us.

Stephanie Muiña:

Look at us.

Gaby Alessi:

When okay. This is something that's been stirring up in my spirit. No. In my head, especially for the young girls. We are in a very tech world right now. Just actually, like, 2 hours ago, my phone was notifying me that someone was trying to hack into my Instagram.

Stephanie Muiña:

Oh my god.

Gaby Alessi:

Instagram is full of hackers, is full of scammers, and all of that. So young girls listening, you have to be very mindful that You do not control who sees your Instagram, and you do not control who sees your Snapchat. You don't control who sees your TikToks. You think you in your room with your booty shorts on and your little tank tops. And I'm just gonna be honest, with your no bra on and you're doing a TikTok dance, you think that it's only the boys that you want to see are actually viewing that, and you don't realize that there's probably grown men that live in other countries that are trying to get your attention, that are trying to message you, are trying to befriend you to get something from you. Yeah. Most of the time they want money, but other times they want other things. And you're seeing nowadays Sex trafficking is everywhere.

Gaby Alessi:

Yeah. And so it does start with the daily decisions of what you're gonna wear, but it does go into what you're posting.

Stephanie Muiña:

Yeah.

Gaby Alessi:

And so girls everywhere have to be super mindful of what we are putting out, what we are allowing the Internet to have about us

Lauren Alessi:

Yeah.

Gaby Alessi:

Because people will take that, they'll use that. We can screen share and screen record everything today. So we need to be the most protected and the most on edge when we're posting things and be so mindful to where we're saying, you know what? I'm not gonna post this of myself because I don't know who's gonna get this photo. Man. You can send something to your guy friend And he sends it to all of his guy friends. And that's like that's like the one thing you wish would happen with all the stuff that could happen to you today. So I think when it comes to even How you live, because we live a lot on social media, young girls, don't post those photos.

Stephanie Muiña:

Yeah.

Gaby Alessi:

Don't wear those outfits. Don't take a photo of you in bed and send it to a boyfriend. You cannot fully trust that guy.

Stephanie Muiña:

Yeah. And I when you brought up social media, my first thought has really been, is the girl that I'm meeting In person, the same girl that I see on Instagram, most of the time it is not. Mhmm. And what it's a sign of is you just don't know your self image yet, so you're using a platform to Create your image. Yeah. Or to just try out different images. Because I'll see girls dress up in the cutest outfit, Take a 400 photos. Yeah.

Stephanie Muiña:

Post them all, and then I see them on Sunday, and they are not dressed anything like that. They don't even act anything like that. So true. And I'm like, that's not who you are. Instagram isn't isn't telling me honestly who you are. So then do you know who you are? Yeah. Let me ask take it even further. Do you like who you are? Yep.

Stephanie Muiña:

Do you like it? Because you obviously wanna Change it on a on a social media platform. And that's why modesty, it goes so deep because it asks you the question, Do you know and do you like yourself? Yeah. Do you know what God is creating you to be? Are you okay with being in a gray area, but not using a platform to fake it. Are you okay with just going through a couple years of figuring out your style, But not not faking a confidence, but actually developing a real genuine confidence and and security in yourself. Yeah. Because social media does not help at all. No. Yeah.

Stephanie Muiña:

It does not help that cause whatsoever. If anything,

Gaby Alessi:

it takes it away from you. It does. It does. Anything else, Lo?

Lauren Alessi:

Yeah. I would just say well, 2 things. I'm really glad we didn't go far into, like, the feminist conversation because the truth is I'm We have, like, a a distant family member who's, like, a hardcore feminist, but it's like even she doesn't she never dresses. Like, how we would eat modestly. No. She doesn't. And I have friends that are hardcore feminists. I've had, like, conversations with them.

Lauren Alessi:

They never dress for what Feminists are, quote, unquote, fighting for these things. So, like, I just don't really understand. I I'm glad we didn't get into that argument because it's so fleeting, and it's really Yeah. Anybody who fights for that really isn't fighting for a a real cause. I'm glad we didn't get on that topic too much, but I also wanted to say for the girls listening that are maybe like, Well, you know, maybe I could just have fun while I'm young, and then when I get older and I get married and I settled down, I'll just that's when I'll start being modest. You can do that, and you can live that way, and you can work it out when you get older. But the truth is you'll always look back with some sort of shame and guilt, and just sort of overall embarrassment.

Stephanie Muiña:

Yeah.

Lauren Alessi:

And that's where I would just say if you're listening to this and you feel some sort of guilt and you feel some sort of, like, what's the word? I can't think of it. If you just feel like, okay. You know, maybe this is hitting me, then just just start to dress more modestly. Just already start that because we do live in a very big culture of, Oh, well, you could just fix that when you get older. Or what you know, get it out while you're young. So I yeah. You will always look back on this season of Just embarrassment, like,

Gaby Alessi:

yeah. Repent.

Stephanie Muiña:

Repent. Repent.

Gaby Alessi:

We can

Stephanie Muiña:

go back and change it. It's true.

Lauren Alessi:

So yeah. That's all I have to say.

Gaby Alessi:

That's so good. Last thing I want to to share here. And I found this article by Nancy de Mas Wogmuth. I don't even know how to say her last name. But she actually has Heart check questions when it comes to what you're wearing, and I love these questions. Number 1, it says, what statement do my clothes make about my heart? What statement do my clothes make about my heart? And these are great questions to even ask yourself if you're listening. What basically Do my clothes say about my heart? Number 2, in choosing what clothes to wear today, whose attention do I desire and whose approval do I crave. Am I seeking to please God or impress others? Number 3, who am I I'm trying to identify with through my dress.

Lauren Alessi:

Mhmm.

Gaby Alessi:

Is it the word of God, my standard? Is the word of God my standard or is it the latest fashion? And lastly, have I asked other godly individuals to evaluate my wardrobe? These are some great questions that I hope we can share with you guys so you guys can have them. But if you're listening, write them down. Go back. Put me on slower speed, and write it down because It's a good heart check.

Stephanie Muiña:

Yeah.

Gaby Alessi:

Modesty in how we dress isn't just something, oh, I just threw this on today. Us girls know that is probably the biggest lie that all girls will have that I just threw this on. You probably put picked it out last night, the night before work, or the night before the party, or you went and shopped for it. There's a lot of thought that we put into what we wear. Yeah. And so we wanna continue to encourage you, all the girls listening, to evaluate what you're wearing and to think twice about what you're wearing. What are you saying to people? Are you trying to get a guy's attention? If so, is it the right guy? And is it the right season to get his attention? When you're dating, it might not be the best season to dress fully for him. Wait for marriage and those things.

Gaby Alessi:

But to think more about Your your modesty and and to really pray about how are you going to present yourself. So we hope you guys enjoyed this conversation. Girls, I think this was awesome.

Stephanie Muiña:

Yes. It was real fun. It was fun.

Gaby Alessi:

So thanks again for joining us, here at the Family Business Podcast with the Alessis. Please make sure to Subscribe, like this video, and share this video. Comment, do all the things, and make sure you share this with a special girl that you might think needs to hear this. This is it for us today. Hope you guys have a great one.