Work Life Balance = Myth? The Truth Behind Making Day To Day Decisions for Your Family | S5 E24

Stephanie Muiña [00:00:00]:

I've I've been thinking about this a lot. We're not good at moving on from adolescence. We're not good at it. Like, if it if that means I have to sacrifice advice my video games, that means I have to stay off Instagram a little bit. If that means I have to cut back on shopping, if that means I have to We can't go to the movies late at night. If that means I can't go out to the restaurants like I used to, then something's gotta be wrong.

Steve Alessi [00:00:32]:

Hello. Welcome to another episode of the family business with the Alessis where today, we're talking big stuff with Christopher Alessi and Stephanie Alessi Muiña, who is around the table today. It's gonna be fun. It's a very interesting season for you too. So I wanted to have you in the podcast because I wanna talk about this. Having a healthy imbalance of life and work. Our work, of course, be in the ministry. And since it's a family business with the Alessis, this is stuff that we don't get to talk about on Sundays. How do we do this? How over the years have we been able to juggle what would be our lives calling, which is our church, but also keep a healthy family relationship that is in place. And if some people gonna Say to us, here's the big biggest compliment I get all the times. You know, man, you guys are up there doing it altogether, which then is the next question is how do you do it? So this is something that is pretty important to talk about. So y'all wanna first greet everybody, and then we'll go ahead and take it from there.

Stephanie Muiña [00:01:46]:

Sure. Hello, everybody. It's Stephanie. That's your camera right over there. Hi. Hi. No. Thanks for I'm glad we're we're talking about this because, honestly, my brother was talking about how y'all briefly mentioned it in a phone call earlier this week, and I said, Good. because I need to know that same advice. I'd love to talk about it. I'd love to pick your brain on it and see how you did it because we have a one year old with our second on the way. Yep. And it's only gonna get crazier. So -- Big question, though. How come you don't have a family business mug? I don't know.

Steve Alessi [00:02:16]:

You're Chris and I do, but

Stephanie Muiña [00:02:19]:

Target mug? 

Steve Alessi: 
Well so right now, we have a we have a ten day old Marino.

Chris Alessi [00:02:26]:

He's 10 days early at this point. He's supposed to come in 2 days. And yeah. And so our kind of maternity leave was rushed on us And in the middle of all that, because we didn't get a chance to really kinda transition out of some things with our roles in the office, I just I felt like this was a a really hard thing. How am I gonna go back to being so married to the ministry and the and the, you know, progressing it and growing it and doing everything we can. How in the world do I do that when I'm now so obsessed with this little £7 baby? And it's really not how do I balance the work. It's more of like, how do I it as a person, how does that all live up in my head at once? And -- Yeah. -- we were talking about it and, you know, it's it's the greatest thing to sit here on the podcast right now knowing he's out there and the fact that we can do all of this at the same time. It's just amazing. So I'm excited to learn more about it. But that's kinda where the our convo came from was like how do you hold all of these things in your head and your heart at once? Right.

Steve Alessi [00:03:31]:

It's crazy. Okay. First, we gotta say happy birthday too. Stephanie. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Happy birthday to you is your birthday today. It's my birthday. Yeah. How are you?

Stephanie Muiña [00:03:41]:

Twenty seven years old. Oh my gosh.

Steve Alessi [00:03:43]:

I'm stuck on 26th.

Stephanie Muiña [00:03:45]:

Marty planning my 30th -- Nope. -- for a trip -- Yeah. -- holding. For 30 days, Yep. Just gone. Yeah. Yes. Sorry.

Steve Alessi [00:03:56]:

 Yeah. Talk about balancing life and our work, going broke. spending all our money in your for 30 days. Anyhow well yeah. So we got we got to figure this one out because I think your generation has a bigger issue with this than my generation cost quite frankly, guys. This is hard for me to really wrap my brain around this being an issue. Being a struggle. Being a struggle. Because I don't remember Mom and I ever having to focus on balancing our personal life with our professional life which is the ministry here at the church. because for us, ministry and church, and it's not just church. Okay? Because mom traveled quite a bit when y'all were young, and I was having to take care of you. I was having to get you to school and having to get you home and figure out how to feature for a a period of stretch because mom would be on the road. And so that's not just the church that I'm talking about. It's about for us balancing the ministry and all that. And I personally, again, I don't remember being an issue. Yeah. I don't remember ever having to go to my dad or my mom or somebody else how do you do this? You know what I did ask one time? This is crazy. The biggest issue that I had at one point was how do I start to travel personally and still manage the ministry from a distance? Yeah. Because at one point, when mom was then traveling, Mary and I then started together traveling doing some things. And I remember asking a business owner in the church. How do you get on the road and still keep things manageable? That's it wasn't how do I blend my ministry and my personal life. it was how do I manage balancing from a distance what we're doing and growing to still stay engaged -- Yeah. -- in what we're doing. So This has not been an issue. Maybe if mom was here, she'd tell you something different. But, you know, I I don't remember that. I don't remember us having to be challenged. So explain it for me why this is such a big issue.

Chris Alessi [00:06:05]:

 Not so much for y'all, but -- Yeah. -- this generation today? It's a narrative for sure. And I think it's kinda like -- Yeah. -- I was I was in high school in around that time where you started to hear that there were, like, soccer teams and kids teams that were giving out trophies to everybody. And it was like there was this narrative now that everybody had to have an opinion on Do you do that? Do you not? And in the same way, I think this balance word became almost a god people served. And it was like -- Yeah. -- this narrative came out their work life balance. And there were people that when they came to a crossroads where they didn't feel happy. Therapists, leaders, whatever said, oh, it's because your life is out of balance. Mhmm. And that wow was probably a good you know, yeah, there's there's something wrong here in the way that you're going about your life. Every generation before us was dealing with wars or the re the result of a war or was trying to build something for their family and their name, Our generation outside of COVID has had things so cushy. Yeah. And we are constantly comparing our lives to other people's Instagrams -- Yes. -- con constantly comparing the little notes they put out there on their pages and the messages. We don't even realize how oversaturated we are. it has kinda come to this head where it's like, in order to survive, you have to have a perfect balance. Yeah. And I think it's kinda like the word says that a a you know, a wise man looks back on his life and says, man, I'm blessed. I think the same thing is for balance too. You don't really get it until your life is over But on this side of that season, it's a real struggle to feel like, how do I give everybody what they need? and it comes from a good place. It's not really out of a place to protect ourselves. Like, I wanna make sure I get my hour of t t TV time every day. It that's -- I know. -- not what it is. It's more of How do I make sure Marino gets what he needs? And the church gets what he needs because I'm kinda feeling like I can't do all that. Yeah.

Stephanie Muiña [00:08:09]:

I I agree. I think Our generation...I've I've been thinking about this a lot. We're not good at moving on from adolescence.
We're not good at like, if it if that means I have to sacrifice my video games, that means I have to stay off Instagram a little bit. If that means I have to cut back on shopping. If that means I have to we can't go to the movies late at night. If that means I can't go out to the restaurants like I used to, then something's gotta be wrong. because I'm not getting the stuff I need. And you gotta move on from it. And I'm I'm I'm struggling with that right now where I'm like, wow. I didn't realize that it's not a selfishness. It's just that I liked those single days were a lot of fun, but I've gotta move on. Mhmm. And what I'm learning is on the other side of moving on from adolescents is a whole lot of joy, and I like life more. Yeah. But I had to really push a little bit and accept that it's hard to move on. It's hard to sacrifice that Alessi, but it's okay if it's hard because on the other side of that sacrifice, is I'm the only one that gets to bathegea every single line. Yeah. That's my only responsibility. I'm the only one that gets be a wife to Christopher Muiña. Yeah. No one else can have that responsibility. And that's a gift. Yeah. And that's something that women struggle with today, but If I could just embrace that that's a hard sacrifice to make, but on the other side is a whole lot of maturity and joy. Yeah. Then I think our whole generation would be easier right moving away. Can I add one more thing to that too quickly? I also think it's it's option paralysis because our generation has more options than any other. we could be in Europe quicker than than ever before.

Chris Alessi [00:09:49]:

There's this idea that there's gold in the river of making money while working it from your laptop at home. Yeah. So there's so much options that the generations before us that worked at Publix or something for 50 years so they could live a life of options we feel like I could have that at 25. Mhmm. And it's -- It's a lie. 

Steve Alessi: 

Well, I wanna make sure we can bring some resolve. because we can talk about it being a problem. Mhmm. But it's really a part of life. Yep. And this is why it's so important to get in balance somewhere in your mind more than anything because there's military personnel right now that are being asked to be served on the battlefield that that are called that find out after they leave that their child or their spouse is now pregnant. k? They don't get to come -- They can't come up. -- see the baby born. Yeah. You got sports athletes who are in a playoff final that do not have the opportunity to missed the game to be there for their spouse having this baby, coaches that can't walk away from the biggest game of their life. And all of a sudden, there's an emergency that happens the spouse. They've gotta be there. Yep. So this isn't something that is just abnormal. It it's a part of the whole life balance. So I think off the top as we were talking about getting ready for this, you know, Alan said something. Alan Paul said something that I think helps me now deal with what I started saying. This was not an issue with me and mom. Here's the thought. Stop trying to balance. Yeah. Mhmm. Making the balance the issue is the issue. Is the issue? It's it's not balancing and doing life and so on. Isn't isn't an issue. It's just a part of life. But the moment you have to start fighting for your rights to I need this for me. I'm not now you've got into now you've got an issue. Yes. Because what We're gonna talk about today. Mom and I did with y'all. Yeah. And somehow the way we did it Without our life's work sacrificing one bit because we were in it to win it. This was our baby. We started it. And just like you were our babies, this work was our babies. And we didn't have a chance to say we're gonna take care of one of our babies more than the other. No. All these years later, whatever we did worked out because all four of you love the god that we serve, love the church that we serve and are heavily involved committed to doing this for the next generation. So stop trying to balance. Stop making balance the issue. It's gonna be more on your end -- Yeah. -- that that you're gonna just resolve in your mind. So let let's talk about solving this the dilemma that some people are having because they're asking, how did you guys do it? And it's really hard for me to say, well, we did number 1. We did number 2. We did number 3. I know it's it's not. What I'm finding, however, is as I'm now helping coach you with your spouse and now these seasons with Marino your season with Gianna is communication has to be something that is 1st and foremost. Let's talk about it. That's what we're doing today. Let's talk about seeing, communicating that this is a real life issue, and everybody's gotta face it at different seasons of their life. So let's talk about it. Yeah. because even for you on the phone the other day, Chris, how did it did it help you walk you off the ledge a little bit just being able to throw it out there for you? 

Chris Alessi [00:13:34]:

Well, yeah. And I think that's one of the other things that just communication period. Everyone thinks that they're mental processes, but they're not. you your mental spirulers. We will all spiral if we leave it up here. Talking about it, you get it out there, and it doesn't become, you know, as big as it feels and that's really what it was for me because yesterday, I started to have a little bit of a spiral because I opened up 3 emails that honestly, all they were was one person wasn't the happiest, but not really somebody that's important. I bought seeds that weren't delivered on time, and I'm a little bothered by it. And then there was one other email that was like, oh, you got this charged for one of the baby things. And I started to have this thing. So I went and I sat on the couch, and I'm like, I just got 3 emails and they bothered me. And it was fine. So communication has to be a huge part of it because if not, if you keep trying to balance and balance and balance and keep it all on your head, you will spiral. Yeah. So talking about it is huge. So just getting to talk about it and kinda taking my lumps a little bit. I'm a big if there are lumps to take, I wanna take them right now, I want to know. And that's kind of the thing. There's sadly from our generation, there's a little rebuke that we need because our mindset isn't right on this and communicating it helps us it's kinda like you you can't score in any game unless you draw the boundary lines, and communication is what helps us draw the boundary lines. It us know how to win this game. So you have to communicate. Yeah. I find it interesting. Just keep talking to

Steve Alessi [00:15:01]:

Moina. k. Muina sitting down us having the conversation with him before they got married saying, hey, this is gonna be a challenge that you're gonna have to deal with with Steph. Yeah. Everybody's wanting her attention. some of those are gonna be young men that are gonna want her attention because she's in a position of leadership and us sitting down and and Kinda just warning him, preparing him. Hey. This is gonna be a challenge you're gonna face right now. He's thanked me a hundred times over for that conversation because he's new to the game. Yeah. And in our sense, this is a young a man that was not raised in ministry. He was raised in church his whole life, but he wasn't raised in ministry. So having that conversation, even though he didn't ask the questions, but us throwing it out there as a shot against the bow was communicating that helped him tremendously. Now for Rochelle who was so quiet, she would probably never ask for anything. Never ask a question about it until she's about the meltdown. And if she has a meltdown, then you're having go back and say, but you should have said something too. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Right? Yeah. Okay. And we have to be the same. Yeah. Yeah. The the point there is if you're you're talking about it, put it out there because every time we talk about it, it just helps. Everyone. Everyone.

Stephanie Muiña [00:16:26]:

stay on the same page with -- And I I love how I learned a lot from you on how to communicate to Melina, which is actually funny because I'm -- He's a man, baby. Men know how to talk about it. I know. My gosh. Well, because me and Muina are both Let's confrontors. Neither of us hide anything under the rug, which is such a Alessis, except when you confront all the time. Like, there is one season where we're like, okay. We understand there's a lot about each other that we just don't like sometimes, but we don't have to confront it and talk about it all the top. Like, let's stop. Let's take let's slow down the confronting. And I realized, like, okay. My communication If we're trying to at least schedule some things out, if I need to communicate what our month looks like or what I'm expecting, I've gotta do it with some positivity. and with some sympathy with him. Like, hey. I know this is gonna be a lot, but we I've gotta get this done this month. We've gotta do this this month. And when I come in with understanding and not with, like, a a business if I'm not if I'm just trying to be a kind wife, then that will make it so much easier on us, and it'll just allow us to conquer all of those things we gotta do with a lot of joy and with a lot of ease. I think how you're communicating to your partner and your family is a huge thing as well. Yeah. Yeah. You and I have a -- Are you laughing about He's so funny. I'm looking at him over how he's looking up in the -- No. You're smiling like -- He wants to be over the next room with his son. You know, I know. -- to change that poopy diaper. Oh, come on.

Steve Alessi [00:17:58]:

Hey. You and I communicated via text the other night or other morning from 5 to 6 AM therapy session. I was awake. Yeah. I know. We could have pooped hair out. It would have gone for 2 hours in that text feed. No. But Kiwi communication is everything. 2nd of all would be be this. And, Chris, we you mentioned approach. Our approach to it. give a little insight on what you're thinking. Okay.

Chris Alessi [00:18:23]:

So you've already kinda hit it, though. Like, the idea that there's no such thing as balance. So you always gotta throw that out the window. But They they did this study recently. They put a woman in a cave for 500 days by herself. She had a light, but it was it was supposed to test the effects of stream isolation. What is that gonna do? Only person she interacted with was a doctor every couple of weeks just to make sure she was fine. When they go to pull her out of this, I would think everybody would think that she'd be having this, like, freak out because she's seeing, you know, the sunlight for the first time in 500 days or She like, she's weirded out by people or she was actually upset with them for cutting what she thought, cutting the experiment short. 500 days in 500 days. She thought she thought it was only a 120 days. It's crazy. And what they found is they went to study the effects of isolation, they actually ended up getting great results on your approach to time, and they found that if you're not constantly counting the days, if you're not constantly looking at the clock go by, believe it or not, this woman, when they thought they'd pull her out and she would have this, oh, we should have pulled her out a 120 days ago, they actually she was good. She wanted to be in there longer. So you have to kind of realize that your approach to your life and your approach to time is like 50% of the battle. Yeah. So the other day, I'm stressing out How am I gonna balance this? And then I realize, if I recognize I have limited resources, why am I wasting them on stressing this balance. Yeah. Just get rid of it and just do it. Yeah. We were talking, you know, the other day. I had a certain expectation of how leave would go. Didn't go that way. Hasn't gone that way. Why would I waste an ounce worrying about that? Yeah. Don't even think of just do it. It's actually it kinda goes back to when I was a kid, and dad would say, Did you take the trash out yet? No. I'll do it. Well, now I've created a fight because I didn't do it when it took all of a minute. Same thing, whether it's your home and don't wanna do the dishes because you had a long day at work. Get rid of the thought that says because I've had a long day at work, I'm allowed to be lazy.

Stephanie Muiña [00:20:33]:

Get rid of that thought, get up, do the dishes quick. Before you know it, you're like, hey, it's 7:30. We've done everything. Everything we need to do. We can watch a movie. Chris, the most stressful part of my day is when I'm trying to get Gia down to sleep in bathed, dress for bed, and to sleep. And it's because there's a clock. It's Chris's alarm clock. is right next to us in the in our bathroom bedroom. And I'm watching it. I'm like, maybe I can get her out of this out of this bath in 10 minutes. Maybe if I can just quickly lotion her and put her PJs on, I can get her to bed by by 9. It's 9:45, and she's still not asleep. And I'm like,

Chris Alessi [00:21:09]:

What have I done? And how have I lost this time? My god, I shouldn't have done it on my phone. I shouldn't have been on my phone. We shouldn't have talked. I should have just focused. I should have just focused on her. But we have a great night. Otherwise, like, we it doesn't matter if we got her down at 10. Well, you did it at our house the other day. We were watching the game and was like, oh, it's time to put her to sleep, and she started to throw a fit. And then you were like, let her stay up. Yeah. Who cares? Rums up. Yeah. And she had a great time. So your approach to it is just, you know, we have seen so many self help books where people we respect have said, here's how we balance our friends. We hung out with 2 friends a month. So at the beginning of the month, sit with your wife and go through But guess what? We never get to hear what those people's friends think about that type of lifestyle. She's so true. So it's like, you know what? Thanks for getting me in this month. I know. Right? Put all that aside. You know, I love John Maxwell, but he's like, every single year, I look back on everything I've done, and I see where I couldn't prove. And it's like, that sounds so awesome. But have we ever, like, interviewed his family? Like, what do they think? Maybe they love him. I'm not taking a shot. But my point is, We get that and think that becomes the goal we have to achieve. I know. But you just said it. You have raised 4 kids who were all

Steve Alessi [00:22:20]:

pure, happy, healthy, whole, loving god, loving church. Yeah. And I don't think I ever saw you and mom have a family meeting, but we were all watching TV to go over how we're gonna spend every minute of our month -- No. -- this month. No. So it's like -- Never. -- so dumb. Yeah. So it's approach. Yeah. It's approach. Thirdly would be think in terms of sacrifice. Yeah. And, Steph, I need you to give input on this because we're you you mentioned how important it is to make sure your spouse is needs are and your home needs and all of those needs are being met. And when that happens, what what door that seems open for you. Yeah. That I think that the the perspective from a wife, woman, mom, is is very different because

Stephanie Muiña [00:23:01]:

I mean, when I get to work, I focus on work. I do what I gotta do, but my a massive priority right now is my home and my marriage and my children, and that is taking a lot out of me. And I've I've learned that if I want there to be a stress free household, I've just gotta meet the needs. And that requires sacrifice on my part. That's it's it has to. I have to work to meet their needs. I need to keep the house clean. I need to honor my husband. I need to make sure he feels comfortable in his home that he feels respected by our schedule, by what we do, by me. And when I meet those needs, it's a stress free home. Mhmm. And don't get me wrong. It's not like I'm completely forgetting who I am and just walking all over myself make everybody else happy. That's that's -- Steph never tells that. Yeah. I I will make sure. I'm not walked over. No. But it's I do I have to put aside some things. So, yeah, I would love I would love to sit on my phone and look up videos on Pinterest for about 30, 45 minutes. but I can put that away and take care of the house or make the lunch for the rest of the week because it's something. -- rejoicing somewhere. If mom was here, she'd be like, yes. Yes. Amen. Of course. But it's it's I think what some women don't realize is we thought that this would come easy. We thought that the sacrificing to clean up our house and to cook for our husband and to make our husband happy would come easy because it'd just be bliss to be as oh, house mom. And then you get into it and you're like, wait. This is this is like another job. This is like a second job. And Yes. It is. It's supposed to take work on our part. The Proverbs 31 woman did not seem to take any vacation time. Like, She worked her her tail off to make sure her household was taken care of, and she was a worker. She got stuff done. And there's joy in that. That's a gift that us women get to have. And the years down the line, your children rise up and call you blessed. So that's what I'm working towards. So I I learned really quickly that this is not gonna come easy for me. I have to work to make sure that there's no stress in my home that when I'm working,

Chris Alessi [00:25:16]:

I'm bringing joy to it. Mom exemplified that perfectly. Yeah. But yeah. Something to that as well. I think we've also had really the wrong role models and the people to learn from. And I don't mean celebrities or whatever. But we all have that story of a marriage or family gone wrong. In that one line, it was because I didn't take care of myself enough. or it was because I didn't whatever. I I and we we take that, and we almost build our life to avoid certain outcomes. and that's messed up. Mhmm. You can't live your life to avoid divorce. You've gotta be married. You can't avoid build build your life to avoid your kids being bitter at you. You have to be present with your kids. Be a parent. And so even, like, we you say, it's not that I'm being walked over. because we would hear people say, well, you know, we got divorced because -- -- so. -- I was walked all over. And so to avoid that, you know, it's like get rid of those cultural bad examples.

Stephanie Muiña [00:26:13]:

Ask a couple how did you do it. And if he's sitting here saying, I don't even remember dealing with it, and it's like, then I have to take the entire narrative and throw it away because there's no value in it. And you know why? Because they surrounded themselves with community. Yeah. I I just I'm starting to believe less and less. You need to read go away and recharge. Unless there's there's times where you need that with your family, but On a weekly basis talking about consistency, you wanna get your rest, go to church on a Sunday morning and be with the other women at church and talk about your week and laugh about the stupid things you'd messed up on and talk about the funny arguments you and your husband got into, talk about recharge. And sometimes you freak out and you isolate yourself and you want out of a protection to maintain your peace. You've gotta stay home and you have to rest and you have do this, but you completely miss out. -- say no so you can say yes. Oh my gosh. And you've missed out on a wonderful Sunday morning catching up with the church catching up with your friends, and that's your mystery charge. Meanwhile, you will not miss a workout all week.

Steve Alessi [00:27:16]:

Uh-huh. Yeah. You'll figure out a way to try to squeeze in your hour every day. You'll wake up in a god awful hour to go take care of your body, but then you yeah. That's where you have. to sterilize

Stephanie Muiña [00:27:29]:

the bottles every single trust me. I've had all these conversations. Yes. Yes. Yes. Well -- I won't get into it right now. I won't get into it. I I think, ultimately, the the mindset

Steve Alessi [00:27:37]:

approach to this is, guys, here's the deal in life. You're gonna win some and you're gonna lose some. Yep. Yes. You don't make a decision after winning some, and you don't make a decision after losing some. You you you know, in sports, everybody's already saying the heat. Oh, they gotta get me to this gotta get rid of that guy. They need this guy. They're they're thinking because they lost the championship game, they have to now because Make some decision to to change everything. Wait a minute. They got to the stinking championship. Okay? There's a whole lot of other teams that didn't get there. Yeah. So they got there. You don't just start thinking, I gotta make decisions here about balancing my life because we had a blow up, and he feeling or she's feeling neglected this any you know? Okay. The mindset is, hey. I'm not gonna keep score. Exactly. I'm not gonna keep score. My job's not gonna win. I can't look at it and think my my ministry's won and my family is lost or my family's won and my ministry's lost. Or they all win and I lose. Yeah. Yes. Here here's how we're dealing with it. This is our calling. Yeah. This is our passion. This is what we love to do. and we've learned over time that, really, it's not either or. It's we've worked to be able to say this is just what I do. I'm called to this. This is my job. I I had this thing before my kids were in my life. I'm gonna do this, and I'm a father. I'm a minister. I'm I'm doing this my home, and we blend it all together. Yeah. And I will say, Chris, one thing I appreciate what you are talking about, just mentors who you're listening to, what voices, you know, wrong voices, wrong choices. Be careful that you're not looking at a person that is doing it in the process of doing it and You're taking their advice. Look at somebody who's already done it. Yeah. Let that person be your mentor. No. They may not have a 1,000,000 followers. but they've got the following of their family that is most important -- Yes. -- in the long run. Yes. And they've proven how to do it. just having a conversation with a person like that, knowing the backstory and not just what you see on some social media posts -- Yes. -- what you see in the moment. Getting the backstory -- Yes. -- is so important because I'll tell you, we are listening to a lot of young voices today that only pick up information from a book or what they heard at a conference or what they read or heard somebody else say in a and and just a small little snapshot. They haven't run this course. I mean, mom and I are sitting there the other day. We're in our city. having breakfast with you and Muina. Lauren was there, and there was another young couple in ministry there. And I'm looking at them, and and they're a real good a real good -- Place. -- influencer in our our city right now, and I love that. That's great. I'm not sure I'm gonna take family advice from them right now -- Yes. -- because their kids are rather young. I don't they they haven't put them through the school system. they they haven't been able to help them navigate. And they even looked at us and says, man, you guys have done this. They amazed that we're sitting there having breakfast together on our day off on Friday. Yeah. I love that invite, by the way. Appreciate it. Yeah. You wasn't really -- -- steak. Oh my gosh. They have balance keep the family down. You gotta stay home. Yeah. No. It's before all that. So so, you know, be be sure you find a person that's already gone through this. Yes. It's a solid point, Doug. And what is gonna ultimately help for you guys. This is why I love doing our podcast. Love our family times that that we get together. that sometimes make your spouse feel like my god. All we do is spend time with your family. I know. These are serious times. Yeah. You can't mess it up now. Yeah. We gotta make sure y'all stay on point because where you start, it may just be millimeters off at this point. But down the road 20, 30 years from now, you'll be way off the mark if we don't keep this mindset sharp right now. Now. Yep. So, hey, I think what we ultimately learn is stop trying to balance this whole thing -- Yeah. -- from life and work or life and ministry life and church. It it's really who you are and that's why you do what you do. and you'll see how then we haven't even brought this part up. Other god factor enters in -- Yep. -- because somehow He is kept stirred up in each and every one of you. A love for him and a love for his house. Oh, yeah. Something that mom and I were only limited. and being able to do. He kept you from experiences that would have turned you off -- Yeah. -- to this. He surrounded you with the right people that are still on staff today. Some of them in that podcast recording booth right there that are in the other offices taking care of the work that we love. Those people have helped mentor you and help keep you in love with what we do and more and more as you start to build your own lives and you see what they built you you appreciate who they are. Yep. See, that's the god factor. Yeah. He puts people in your life that help you make decisions going forward. Not a lot of pastor's kids had good examples of that. No. Some are turned off to the church because if one, they saw something the parents were doing behind. closed doors. They weren't the same people that they are on Sundays, that they are Monday through Saturday. And that turned kids off to the ministry. They've also seen how people in church hurt their parents, and they're like, I'm out of here. We're done. So, thankfully, we haven't had to do and deal with any of that experience it. because god was in the midst of it all. So we hope today's podcast has been a blessing to you to help you figure out how to also live life in balance with what you do is in your home personal life and what you do as a profession. So thank you for joining. the family business with The Alessi.

Chris Alessi [00:33:48]:

You've just enjoyed another episode of The Family Business podcast with Alessi season, we can't thank you enough for being a part of our Pottyants today. Now that you've learned more about us, here's how you can join in in the family business. First, make sure you're following our podcast right now and download this episode so you can hear it at any time. 2nd, think of someone you know that might need or enjoy this episode and share it with them. You'll be helping them and helping us to spread the word about the family business. 3rd, go to alessayfamilybusiness dotcom and tap the ask the Alessi button. This is really cool. You could use it to record a voice mail comment or question, and we can add your voice to our conversation. Finally, while you're on our page, tap the reviews tab and you'll see a link to leave a review on Apple Podcasts. We love reading your reviews, and we might even share them on the show. Thanks again for joining us, and we'll see you next time at the family business with the Alessi because family is everybody's business.